Time is limited, so let’s get straight to it! This is the Challenge: I want you to become
THE MOST HONEST PERSON YOU KNOW.
WHY Number 1
Most of my clients come to me thinking they have a high level of integrity and honesty and tell me so. But then when I start asking them some tricky questions (which usually has them doing a bit of squiring) it becomes apparent that their 8/10 honesty might be closer to a 4 or 5 (or worse! ;-)).
The reason why is because very few people have the courage to say what they truly think and feel for fear of upsetting other people. Or worse, they know what they feel but they tell themselves that is not what the person in front of them needs to hear, so they choke it down. And in my experience, in 99% of cases, what needs to be said is the truth – what you are honesty feeling and thinking. Continue reading →
Now did you notice I used the word ‘processing’? Not fighting. Not suppressing. Not avoiding. Not ignoring. But processing.
It is ok to have so-called ‘negative’ emotions. They are a sign to us that something needs to be done. The aim is to get the message and then have the nervous energy of emotions (with their cortisol and adrenaline) dissipate or be processed as I am suggesting here.
All of the techniques to follow are essentially turning off the stress response, and activating the relaxation response. In that state you are more aware, creative, powerful, resilient and less reactive. So that is always what we are aiming for.
The Tips are sort of listed from the most basic (for the small stuff) to the techniques for the bigger stuff. Choose one, if it is not potent enough then work your way down the list. Enjoy! Continue reading →
The last couple of weeks I have had a number of people say, I would love to do Coaching with you or your course is just what I have been looking for, but I am not in a financial position to do so. So I figured it would be good for them and good for me, if I helped with some specific strategies on how to attract more money into their lives.
I think I can make this statement and feel pretty confident it applies to 95% of the population. We all have some pretty atrocious beliefs when it comes to money. Some people are even brought to tears when you just mention the ‘money’ word. We definitely need to change that.
When I started poking around at my own beliefs as part of my R&D (Research and Development) into creating my money making program, I came up with some doozies for myself. One of my worst was…
You will be happy to know I am just like you and sometimes I get myself into a wicked emotional tail spin I can’t seem to shake. 😉 Last week I got myself in a total tizz. I was totally agitated and stuck in a ‘not-so-happy’ spot. So let me share with you exactly how I got out of it.
Changing your biochemistry
When we are in a funk as I call it, what is happening is we are thinking a certain way, which is causing us to feel a certain way, we is causing us to think a certain way, and then … you get the point. This was my ‘tail spin’ or ’emotional sink hole’.
The thing with thinking is what we focus our attention on grows. Which leads to feeling. So if we want to change our results, we need to change what we are giving our attention too. It turns out I was paying too much attention to what was not working – which caused me to feel stressed. Which meant I became stupider. I also could not find a solution in that state of mind.
Unless you effectively address ALL three parts of the Happiness Puzzle it may be difficult for you to achieve your highest level of happiness. How do you score in each of the three key parts?
Piece 1: Past Programming
Here is a question for you. How effective and efficient would your computer be running if you were still using Microsoft Office 1.0 (from 1990) instead of Microsoft Office 2011? Pretty obvious isn’t it. Yet many of us are actually still using old beliefs, thinking patterns and habits we learned decades ago.
We need to challenge our beliefs, our habitual thinking and our reactive patterns of behaviour. Firstly, we need to realise something is not a FACT unless it is 100% true, 100% of the time, for 100% of people. Our beliefs are not facts; just useful tools until we find something better. Continue reading →
Christine (from USA) Question: “With modern medicine today there are many tests you can have now to see if you are morelikely to develop some awful diseases such as Huntington’s and Alzheimer’s. Would you want to know?”
The right question
One of the things I teach in the 30-Day Happiness Challenge, is to ask better questions. And also to make sure the question we are asking does not pre-suppose a ‘fact’ that is not really a fact (100% true, 100% percent of time). Otherwise the answer we get will not be relevant.
By the way. Just wanted to remind you that I am not a Doctor, in case you forgot. I am just a voracious reader, researcher and therapist / Coach.
Here is the thing on modern medicine. It is EXCELLENT at treating symptoms – or broken stuff – but crap at the preventative stuff, and the creating optimum health stuff. For more on this read ‘Mind Over Medicine‘ by Dr Lissa Rankin. Continue reading →
As I was writing my book on optimum health, I thought I had it all sorted out with my 5 Pillars: exercise, nutrition, detoxing, rest and how we used our minds. But something was niggling at the back of my mind. Sort of saying, ‘Are you missing something?’
Well it turns out I was. I had the body covered; the mind covered; but I didn’t have the heart taken care of. And the reality is, you cannot separate these three parts. It is like trying to create a complete picture, but only using two-thirds of the jigsaw pieces. There will be gaps and in this case those gaps can be major illness, recurring aches & pains, and even that regular ‘cold’ or ‘flu’. Continue reading →
I use the term ‘mindfulness’ which is based on the concept of mindfulness in Buddhist meditation, but take it broader, into how it shows up each and every day. As numerous ‘smart people’ have told us over past millennium, we only have ‘this moment’. The past is gone, and the future is yet to be shaped. So it is the sum of our moments, and how we use them, that ultimately determines what quality of life we have and the level of results we achieve.
The other word that pops up when we talk about mindfulness is ‘consciousness’. Being conscious of the big picture, the small picture, our place in the picture, other peoples place in the picture, the possibilities, the reality of where you are right now, the place you want to arrive at, and your inner dialogue. So for me, mindfulness is a heightened level of consciousness of our thinking, feeling and behaving. Continue reading →
When we think of the whole self-love thing we often are focused on the heart and feelings. Which is rightly so. Love is a feeling thing. It is heart-based and felt throughout the body. As opposed to a funny feeling we experience in our heads. Although love and light-headedness do go together on occasions. When we talk about self-love we are talking less about hormones and swooning ourselves, or buying ourselves romantic gifts to be opened by ourselves while we have a candlelight dinner by ourselves. Don’t get me wrong, the gifts and romantic dinner sound like fun, but let’s get back to this question of ‘what role does the mind play in self-love?’