The Big 5-0. 5 Things I Am More Clear About as A Result of Turning 50

50I recently had the joy of turning 50. For those of you that have not yet made it, you might find something of value in my musings and for those that have already stepped beyond their 50th birthday, maybe you will find something to reflect on here – or have the chance the relive that magical moment.

Do I feel different?
Nope.Do I think it is funny that I am now a 50 year old?
Absolutely!Do I think people will think I am wiser now I am 50?
I hope so (he he he).

Now enough of me asking and answering my silly questions, let’s get on with the 5 lessons that might actually be useful for YOU. Here goes!!

My Top 5 Relationship Tips

relationshipI remember hearing Tony Robbins one time say that ‘the quality of your life is directly proportional to the quality of relationships you have in your life’. I think there may be something in that.In my book The Guidebook to Authentic Success, I also say teach that one of the keys to feeling truly successful is ensuring that you take time to develop and work on high quality relationships. So in the recent Life Masterclass, I decided to add a section on Relationships – and in particular intimate relationships. Having said that, much of the same rules apply across all relationships.

So let’s jump straight into my Top 5 Relationship Tips, which are not in any priority order. And most of them are really simple – but don’t mistake simple or little for ‘unimportant’ if you want a high quality relationship.

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The First 4 Pillars to Experiencing Authentic Success

authentic sucessMy typing fingers are a little tired this morning, so I thought I would share a number of short videos I have recently recorded, talking about the subject of SUCCESS, and what I think are 8 of the essential ‘pillars’ to feeling a deep sense of success and happiness.
The first 4 Pillars of Authentic Success are:
  1. Feeling Daily Joy
  2. Having High Quality Relationships
  3. Feeling Connected (to yourself, others and something bigger than you)
  4. Feeling like you are Growing and Evolving

If you were to rate yourself in each of these four categories, what would you give yourself out of a potential highest score of 10?Maybe you decide to watch all 4 videos (which I would recommend) or you just decide to watch the video that relates to your lowest score/s. Regardless, I know that you will learn something or be reminded of something you already know but are not practicing. As always I am all about sharing practical strategies for you to implement today.

And as I know you know, there is a big difference (about the size of the gap called The Grand Canyon) between common knowledge and common practice.

I want you to learn and then APPLY the strategies you learn (or are reminded of).

Have a super fabulous day and drop me a line if you have any questions or comments.
Take care.PS: Will I be seeing you in Bali at my 3-Day Life Masterclass seminar?
As always, please ask questions of me, or share your thoughts in a response email or by putting a post on Facebook or on my Blog.

A Communication Strategy for Reducing Relationship Stress

communicateJust to make sure I am talking to the right person.

Hands up if you have received any form of communication from a friend, colleague, intimate partner, or boss in the last few weeks that made you feel like you had been sucker punched in the stomach?

One of those messages, where you feel this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach.
It might come up as a feeling of fear, disappointment, rage, indignation, frustration, disbelief, or seething anger. Ouch!

Has that happened to you recently or in the near past?
If so, then read on. If not, then read on (as it will ;-))
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3 Practical Strategies for More Passionate, Intimate and Love-Filled Relationships

heartI decided to do a Couples Tantra Retreat with Ferry, because I am committed to not just winging it in my relationship and hoping it all works out.

Plus I wanted to increase the level of intimacy and connection we experienced, while our busy lives and work swirled around us. I don’t like to leave too much to chance in life. I like to be a CO-CREATOR in my life, and that especially includes my relationship.

The retreat was hosted by one of the most authentic, loving, compassionate, knowledgeable, and fun people I know. Diane McCann and her husband Robert have been running this retreat for about 29 years. They are both in their 60’s and are an amazing example of what a relationship can be if you make this thing called ‘love’ a priority. Continue reading

The Challenge

lieTime is limited, so let’s get straight to it! This is the Challenge: I want you to become

THE MOST HONEST PERSON YOU KNOW.

 

WHY Number 1

Most of my clients come to me thinking they have a high level of integrity and honesty and tell me so. But then when I start asking them some tricky questions (which usually has them doing a bit of squiring) it becomes apparent that their 8/10 honesty might be closer to a 4 or 5 (or worse! ;-)).

The reason why is because very few people have the courage to say what they truly think and feel for fear of upsetting other people. Or worse, they know what they feel but they tell themselves that is not what the person in front of them needs to hear, so they choke it down. And in my experience, in 99% of cases, what needs to be said is the truth – what you are honesty feeling and thinking. Continue reading

This Challenge Will Increase Your Happiness – Guaranteed

talkSo today I just want to throw a small challenge out to you, which is GUARANTEED to make you feel happier.

 

The Why

The why is pretty simple. Life is about feelings. It isn’t about stuff or achievement, it is about how we think that stuff and achievement is actually going to make us feel. So we are after a feeling.

So the feeling I am going to encourage you to create, is this very generic thing called ‘happiness’. It will probably feel a little different for all of us, but regardless of how it shows up, it will feel really good.

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How to Increase Your Happiness & Success Through Quality Relationships

relationshipTony Robbins talks about the quality of our lives being directly proportional to the quality of the relationships in our life; which is supported by Positive Psychology research which lists quality relationships as one of the five measurable pillars to well-being (and our ability to ‘flourish’).

I don’t think either you or me will deny the impact of our relationships on our happiness. So I want to share with you one simple relationship strategy I use in my life.

 

A basic concept

When we help someone to like them selves more, they will like us more. And well we feel liked (or loved) by someone else then we feel better about ourselves.

So if we reverse engineer this concept, for us to feel better about ourselves, all we need to do is to make other people feel good about themselves.

How ground-breaking is that? 😉

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Projections, Vulnerability, Authenticity and Likeability

like bwI was doing a session this week with a client on the MindBody retreat and as we were spending time delving into attachment, vulnerability, basic human needs, and a bunch of other topics; it became very clear to me that projecting an image of what you want others to think of you is not only energy consuming, but it erodes your authenticity and therefore LIKEABILITY. Not so cool…      

   

Facebook crimes

Have you ever had (or still have) a Facebook ‘friend’ who always posts about how fabulous their life is? How fabulous their relationship is. How fabulous their holidays are. How happy they are (all the time). And even how great their pets, children, job, etc., etc., etc. are.

What are your real thoughts when you read their stuff? Not the stuff you ‘like’ or the comments you post on Facebook; but what you really think.

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One of the Greatest Happiness Tips

friends bwTony Robbins, a famous success coach once said ‘the quality of our lives is directly proportional to the quality of relationships we have in our lives’.

It’s simpleQuality relationships light us up. They energize us. They inspire us. They encourage us to show up in bigger and better ways. They support us. They give us perspective. They entertain us. They even improve the quality of our health (unless of course you drink a dozen beers every time you meet ;-)).We all know this, at some level. But we forget to practice it. We get complacent. We take our friends for granted. We settle for virtual interactions with televisions and internet ‘stuff’ and forget the joys and pleasure of real face-to-face, voice-to-voice and person-to-person relationships. We need to recognize the value and then make the time to foster these ‘priceless’ relationships in our lives.
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