Categories
Choice consciousness Growth Perspective Problem Relationship

The 3 Essentials Parts to Setting ‘Effective’ Boundaries

Listen or Download – me reading this from Dropbox

Hands up if you are slightly crap, or totally crap, at setting boundaries.

Want to know a secret?

It might not be that you are bad at setting boundaries.

It might be that you are missing two other essential elements to get the best out of your BOUNDARY setting.

Or then again…

You might never have given enough thought, attention or energy to establishing what a boundary looks like for YOU.

In my experience there are 3 ESSENTIALS when it comes to getting the most out of boundaries.

When I say ‘getting the most’ I really mean…

More PEACE, harmony and space to be and express YOU.

Let’s dive straight into the 3 Essentials, which are presented in the order of their application.

Categories
Choice consciousness Emotional Negative Emotions Personality Relationship

Proving, Pride, People-Pleasing and Projecting and The True Cost

I hope you enjoyed the Health Tips over the last couple of weeks.

This week I want to explore a topic that comes up very often with the coaching clients I work with, and which I also observe with friends and family.

It is a whole mix of “P” words.

I have talked at length about how PRIDE holds us back from the full expression of our true potential and its relationship to our ability to raise of our level of consciousness. So although Pride is in the mix of the P’s I won’t detail it again in this article.

The other day I was with a client and we really started to explore why they are doing what they are doing.

And whether it was what they really wanted to do, or were they motivated by other reasons (a few of those “P’s” for example) and what was the cost.

So that is the catalyst for where we are heading today.

Categories
Acceptance Choice Emotional Feeling Negative Emotions Personality Perspective Relationship

The Relationship Tip of All Relationship Tips

As we head into the Xmas season (as I am writing this), you are bound to bump up against people that “rub you up the wrong way”.

Would I be correct in saying?

Chances are; the more people you interact with, the higher likelihood you have of bumping into those special people in life who challenge you in every interaction.

There are some people that just trigger you.

With Xmas festivities coming, there is a high likelihood you will bump into them.

Or need to spend several days in their presence!!

(Moaning sound)

They might even be people who you truly love…

…but they frustrate the living beegeezus out of you!!

Want to know a secret?

9 times out of 10, the reason they trigger you is due to what I am about to share…

So get ready to get the antidote to this triggering event.

Categories
Choice Feeling Goal Setting Tips Growth Life Lessons Negative Emotions Pain Perspective Relationship Success

5 Ways We (can) Sabotage Our Potential

Often in a workshop or presentation I ask people to put their hands up in the air.

And then I tell them to leave their hand in the air, IF they are using 100% of their potential.

I have only ever had one person leave their hand up and I am not sure they understood the directions. 😉

This means almost everyone I have ever asked the question of, knows they have more potential inside.

Fact 1: We all (very very likely) have more potential in us than we are expressing.

Is it 10 times or 100 times?

Who really knows, until we really step into it.

Take Wim Hof for example; who has been setting Guinness World Records for years (about 26).

One of them (2007) was climbing 22,000ft up Mount Everest in only shorts and shoes!!

He not only performs these ‘extreme’ practices, but he teaches other people to do them too.

He trains them to express more of their potential (physically and mentally).

So yes we all have more potential, and no we are not sure where the actual ceiling to our potential is.

But what I really want to talk about now, is how do we sabotage this expression of our higher potential?

Let’s see…

Categories
Acceptance Choice consciousness Growth Life Lessons Negative Emotions Problem Relationship

How to Turn Negative Events (& People) into a Positive

TURNING OUR PAST INTO WISDOM

Lately I have been going even deeper into the practical work of Dr Joe Dispenza (teacher, neuroscientist, author and he who is challenging what is ‘normal’).

I am watching testimonials, listening to Q&A sessions, doing more meditations, and re-reading his books (e.g. Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself).

One of his testimonials is of a woman healing herself from the multiple sclerosis (MS). Pretty epic. Plus a guy got feeling back into his fingers after 48 years. The list goes on, and on…(there are over 600 testimonials).

One of Dr Joe’s quotes is:

“The past without the emotion is (potential) wisdom.”

I added the ‘potential’ word as I feel that having wisdom is different from the right application of wisdom. It takes consciousness to make potential wisdom into REAL WORLD wisdom that leads to a positive outcome.

So with Dr Joe as our inspiration and frame of reference, I want to look at how we can change our past NEGATIVE stuff (and the emotions that come with it), into WISDOM. Plus fuel for our EVOLUTION.

Categories
Choice consciousness Life Lessons Perspective Relationship

It is Time for Some Relationship Tips

I suspect you are unlikely to guess what my #1 Relationship Tip is.

A bit of back ground first, so we have some ‘context’.

(Side Tip: The context – also known as the bigger picture – is so important when it comes to communication, and even making high quality decisions. Getting clear of the context first, is a great habit to have)

So…

I was hanging out with a colleague the other day, who is high-vibe, and also a fan of Dr Joe Dispenza’s work (which helps be a high-vibe person), and they mentioned something about me and the books I have written (5 and counting). They also mentioned it would be great if I created a program on how to write and publish a book – so keep an eye out for that, as I LOVE to teach what I have learned along the way.

Now a bit over 10 years ago I set one of those big hairy audacious goals. I committed to writing 5 books in 10 years.

And ticked it off in 2020.

I had also decided to write The Guidebook Series, with a book on each of the following subjects: happiness, health, success, relationships and spirituality.

I actually wrote the first 3 books and then took a detour when I got to a ‘guidebook’ on how to create amazing relationships.

Do you want to know WHY … and what it confirmed for me?

Categories
Book Emotional Relationship

The BEST Relationship Strategy

The author of this book and strategy (Gary Chapman) is a relationship councellor, who discovered that there are five principle ways we express our LOVE in a relationship, and alternatively there are PRIMARY ways we wish to receive the expression of love (back to us) in our relationships.

I recorded a video 5 years ago (complete with whiteboard) to explain to you the full strategy and how to use it.

I would also encourage you to read the book – The 5 Love Languages – or check out Gary Chapman’s website to determine what your Primary Love Language is.

Categories
Choice Confidence Decision Making Growth Life Lessons Personality Perspective Relationship

It is Okay (and Normal) to Not Be Liked by Everyone

This feels like a relevant topic now.

And I like to write about things that are relevant or uncomfortable, even if it means a bunch of people unsubscribe to my newsletter. However, I will try and lighten this subject up as much as possible. 

I have worked with 100’s of clients over the 14+ years doing the ‘coaching’ thing. In that time a very common ‘limiting belief’ that comes up, way too often, is a belief along the general lines of:

If I am not LIKED it means I am a bad person (or not worthy of love).

Categories
Acceptance Choice Feeling Honesty Joy Relationship

My Bestest 4 Relationship Tips

carl ferry apple photoTIP 1: Probably not what you were expecting (sorry)

I may have mentioned to some of you in the past that I intended to write 5 books in 10 years, centred around the Guidebook Series. The planned number 4 book was going to be The Guidebook to Outstanding Relationships.

As with my other books, I spend time on the outline and principle teachings I want to infuse in the book. What I found in this process was that 75% of the book would actually be about working on yourself! Which I had already written about in my first three books.

It confirmed for me that if you want to be in a high-vibe, deep and meaningful relationship, the first and on-going part was to work on yourself – constantly.

Categories
Choice consciousness Emotional Growth Nutrition Optimum Health Relationship Success

A Holistic Investment Strategy

investment

How about I just come straight out and say it.
If your investment strategy does not include ALL parts of your life, you might want to go back to the drawing board.

What good is an investment strategy that is one-dimensional, when life is a multi-dimensional experience? In The Guidebook to Authentic Success, I talk about the importance to consider all facets of your life, so you don’t become hyper-fixated on one area of your life, while other parts of your life turn to poop.

For those who want a reminder of the 8 Pillars when it comes to AUTHENTIC Success, they are:

  1. Daily Joy
  2. High Quality Relationships
  3. Feeling Connected
  4. Growing / Evolving
  5. Meaningful Life Goals
  6. Financial Flow
  7. Being Aligned with Authentic Self
  8. Optimum Health & Vitality