On the back-end of 2020, I decided that when I sat down and gave my full attention to what I wanted out of this new year, I would take an even deeper approach to that question.
And as I like to teach: great answers come from great questions.
‘What do I want in 2021?’ is a pretty lame question; so it did not get any attention. And to merely ask what I wanted to do in 2021 was still not cutting the grade. It was not taking the conversation deep enough.
After a very whacky 2020 and the fallout still washing over into 2021, it was time to go a lot deeper. So I headed to my favourite bungalow in Candi Dasa (at Pondok Pisang), and while sitting on a sun bed, looking out over nothing but the ocean and the skyline, I got out my diary and worked on answering a number of questions to the best of my ability.
I have read 100’s of books over the last 20 years, when I made a commitment to self education through reading non-Fiction books. It really was a game changer for me. Here is a list of some of my favourites – by topic. I have an asterix besides some of my more favourite favourites. I like to read quite broadly, so that I am more likely to come up with novel and creative ideas, but putting different pieces together in unique ways.
Generally I have 2-4 books going at once.
- A business related book
- A self-help book
- A more technical book to enhance my skills as a coach (e.g. psychology, neuroscience, epigenetics, nutrition, etc.)
- A fiction book (mostly something far removed from ‘reality’, but with good messages built into them)
ESSENTIAL WAY 1: Sorry in advance, but this might be uncomfortable
That title sounds like a line a doctor might use when you are in a compromising position on an examination table and they are adjusting the rubber glove on their right hand…
One of the things I have witnessed, doing this coaching and therapy thing for the last 13 years, is people’s avoidance for wading through crap. No surprises there.
The crap I am referring to in this case is the collection of stuff in our past that is stored in the quagmire pit of things that were not fun, comfortable, or pleasurable (and usually from our past).
Here is what I have also learned (and I am sure you have too).
IDEA 1: Contrary to popular belief…one size does not fit all
We are unfortunately, and more recently, being bombarded with the idea that ONE SIZE FITS ALL.
I have to tell you – that is just not true.
If I had you stand in a small group of say 7.8 billion people, you would be the only one with a finger print that looks the way yours does. In 7.8 billion people, something that is about 1/5000th of the whole you, is completely unique. AMAZING!!!
This means the whole you is SO unique, the very thought that one size fits all see
One size does not fit all when it comes to:
TIP 1: Probably not what you were expecting (sorry)
I may have mentioned to some of you in the past that I intended to write 5 books in 10 years, centred around the Guidebook Series. The planned number 4 book was going to be The Guidebook to Outstanding Relationships.
As with my other books, I spend time on the outline and principle teachings I want to infuse in the book. What I found in this process was that 75% of the book would actually be about working on yourself! Which I had already written about in my first three books.
It confirmed for me that if you want to be in a high-vibe, deep and meaningful relationship, the first and on-going part was to work on yourself – constantly.
If you have read my work before you might well have read my definition of what leadership is all about. It goes something like this: ‘A leader creates the environment that is conducive to the success of the team.‘
This applies to whether we are being a leader of ourselves or of others. And for the purposes of this conversation I am most interested in personal leadership. Leadership of self, and as it relates to the path to self-actualization, which according to maslow’s model is at the top if the pyramid.
My personal experience, observation and hypothesis is the singular hardest step to take on the self-actualization path, or what I also call the personal development or personal growth path, is…
Acceptance of personal responsibility.
When I was in my 20’s I used to believe I was ‘unlucky’ and that is why bad things happened to me. I used to think it was because of bad bosses, that I didn’t have a higher level of professional success. I used to blame my girlfriends personality on the relationships not working. I blamed people’s lack of attention to my needs for me having a skiing accident that required a knee reconstruction. Blame. Blame. Blame.
I have been wanting to write this article for a bunch of weeks, but I was making excuses as to why I ‘should’ or ‘should not’ write this article and finally I challenged myself to just do it. If it feels right to do so, then it feels right. I decided it was time to trust my inner guidance system.
So here goes…
Behind the curtain in the life of Carl Massy
As I sit down to write this blog post at 8:43am, there are a number of things I have already done to start my day.
How about I just come straight out and say it.
If your investment strategy does not include ALL parts of your life, you might want to go back to the drawing board.
What good is an investment strategy that is one-dimensional, when life is a multi-dimensional experience? In The Guidebook to Authentic Success, I talk about the importance to consider all facets of your life, so you don’t become hyper-fixated on one area of your life, while other parts of your life turn to poop.
For those who want a reminder of the 8 Pillars when it comes to AUTHENTIC Success, they are:
- Daily Joy
- High Quality Relationships
- Feeling Connected
- Growing / Evolving
- Meaningful Life Goals
- Financial Flow
- Being Aligned with Authentic Self
- Optimum Health & Vitality
Who loves cleaning?
I imagine there are some of you out there joyfully waving your arms around in the air, and others of you who are thinking what a stupid question to ask. “Of course I don’t like cleaning!”
Me personally? I LOVE a good session of cleaning.
The joy of seeing something transformed from messy to organized, or from dirty to clean. It is a rather satisfying sensation if I do say so myself.
Do you know who else loves cleanliness and orderliness and simplicity?
Especially when the external environment (outside your house) is a bit of a train wreck.
I thought with this post I would share with you a simple 7-step plan I whipped up last week, as part of the Life Audit program I facilitated. One thing I am very clear on, is the idea that it is better to have a plan, even if it is not 100% ‘perfect’ rather than no plan at all.
When we have no plan, we tend to get blown around in the wind. We are rudderless.
We are more likely to experience uncertainty, we are more likely to be second guessing ourselves and we are more likely to be marking time on the spot.
A PLAN gets us moving. And it is through movement, that we get a better perspective of what is working and what is not working. Movement, through a plan, also stops us from stagnating. The added benefit is also that as we start moving, we notice new things we were not aware when we were standing still.
So if you are after a PLAN about how to reset things for the second half of 2020, then I encourage you to check out my hand written plan below.