Category: Decision Making

Categories
Choice Decision Making Perspective Stress

A Very Powerful Question to Ask Ourselves 

I LOVE a good question.

In fact, the key thing to being a great Coach is about asking great questions.

Questions that allow us to see or notice our blind spots. 

Or a question that challenges a Belief we have mistakenly thought was a ‘Fact’. 

Or a question that just stops us in our tracks (allowing us to pause and broaden our perspective).  

That is the sort of question I want to share today. 

A track-stopping, mind-opening, and very pertinent Question. 

My sister suggested a book called ‘Things That Matter‘ by Joshua Becker, who has been a serial minimalist for years (writing books and Blogs on the subject). 

On her recommendation, I downloaded a sample of the book on my Kindle and dove straight in.

It was easy reading until I got to the BIG QUESTION. 

A question the author encouraged me not to skip past. 

But to sit with. 

Right then, and right there. 

So, I took him up on his suggestion. 

And sat with the question. 

I knew it was a great question; because the answer did not come quickly or easily.

I had to work for it. 

So, I sat there some more. 

And some more. 

It was a goody, and a toughie.

Here is why. 

Continue reading “A Very Powerful Question to Ask Ourselves “
Categories
Choice Decision Making Emotional Fear Overwhelm Stress

Unfortunately, This is Something We All Do Poorly

Since a great picture paints 1000’s words, I am going to keep this very short today. 

I fortunately have a gifted friend who is SO GOOD as drawing simple images, with a comic book funky style, and delivering a VERY CLEAR message. 

Today’s message is also inspired by a book I am reading – called Living Beyond The Mind: The End of Personal Suffering by Troy Valencia – which delves into the teachings of yoga, Buddhism and Hinduism (plus western psychology and neuroscience).

The book goes into a lot more depth. 

But today I want to focus on just one distinction. 

Reinforced by my friend (Leah Pearlman’s) beautiful and poignant picture and depiction below.

We, most likely, tend to worry way too much about things which never happen. 

Hands up if that applies to you? 

I was certainly a serial worrier in my younger years (less so now). 

Which generally serves a useful purpose, if done for a minute or two (maximum). 

Worrying longer than about 2-mins and the benefits start to drop, until you cross the neutral line, and then come into the realm of it being very, very UN-USEFUL.

So, feast your eyes on the 1,000 word message below (thanks Leah), and I will join you on the other side.

Continue reading “Unfortunately, This is Something We All Do Poorly”
Categories
consciousness Decision Making Emotional Perspective

When A Virtue Like “Loyalty” Stops Being A Healthy Virtue

This article is inspired by a Coaching session I had the other day. 

Which has come up with a number of my clients. 

There is a great message I want to share. 

Not just in relation to Loyalty (which we will go deeper into), but all virtues in general. 

Hands up if you think Loyalty is a great virtue? 

Chances are most people would raise their hand. 

Unless, you are now getting a bit suspicious about a trick question I may be asking you. 

In that case, you might be gingerly raising your hand, slowly, so you can pull it down again, if you figure out where I am taking things. 

Me personally (based on what I know and have experienced); I am not such a big fan of Loyalty if it comes in the 2-dimensional version, and not the 3-dimensional version; and even then, I reckon there are better virtues to hang your hat on. 

Let me explain.  

Continue reading “When A Virtue Like “Loyalty” Stops Being A Healthy Virtue”
Categories
Choice Decision Making Growth

10 Of The Most Valuable Things I Have Learned

56 years on planet Earth. 18+ years Coaching. 1000’s of conversations. 500+ personal development and growth books. 14 years as an Officer in the army. 5 years as a senior security consultant to mega events. Business co-owner of a successful yoga centre in Bali for 4-years. Published 6 books. Insatiable curiosity and thirst for greater knowledge, truth, wisdom and my own evolution. And a love to share. So, here is what I think are pretty useful and practical insights.   

Continue reading “10 Of The Most Valuable Things I Have Learned”
Categories
Choice consciousness Decision Making Emotional Feeling Growth

A More Effective Strategy Than “Trying to Find Yourself”  

I have coached lots of different people over the past 18 years.

Plus, I have been “coaching” myself for the last 26 years.

And something that has come up frequently in those conversations, when people reach out to me ready to do the “deeper inner work“, is their thoughts about “Who am I?” 

Maybe you can relate to this. 

In fact, if you ask yourself that question right now, do you receive a very coherent and clear response?

It’s actually a great question to play with. 

But what I have consistently witnessed over time is that the idea of “trying to find yourself” is not the most effective Strategy. 

And perhaps causes people to look in all the wrong directions. 

Additionally, it doesn’t seem to tap into the most powerful parts of self. 

The human being-ness of us. 

One of the most powerful things we have access to is an UNIMITED potential to CREATE. 

Which is our discussion point today. 

Continue reading “A More Effective Strategy Than “Trying to Find Yourself”  “
Categories
Choice Confidence Decision Making Growth Perspective Self Esteem Success

The Power of Strategic and Mindful Transitioning  

I recently got off a Podcast interview (Sandcast), with a client of mine who is transitioning out of a professional Beach Volleyball career. 

The conversation was extremely insightful. 

(I will share it with you once he posts it) 

We talked about him transitioning out of elite sport into “what’s next?“. 

However, when it comes to “transitioning” (and doing it well), it applies to us all. 

Some transitions are more monumental. 

And some transitions are at the very basic daily level. 

For instance, I have worked with a lot of clients over the years who have been REALLY BAD at switching off from work when they get home. 

Essentially transitioning from “work mode” to “family mode“. 

Often it just doesn’t happen at all. 

Actually, you need to actively and consciously do something (let’s call it a mindful transition), to adapt most effectively to a new environment. 

How are you at “switching off” after work? 

The more monumental transitions might be – using a personal example – transitioning from being an Olympic Games bomb management expert and security consultant (working for the man, literally ;-)); to being a Life Coach in Bali, working for myself, and not really having much of an idea how to go about it. 

Regardless of the size or complexity of the transition, the way you do it matters. 

Even in yoga, there is conscious attention given to how you transition from one pose to another, because the yogis realised its importance.  

Which takes me to the key point of this conversation. 

Continue reading “The Power of Strategic and Mindful Transitioning  “
Categories
Choice consciousness Decision Making

A Cool Strategy o Break “Unhelpful” Patterns of Behaviour  

This strategy is both simple, yet powerful. 

It is also quite timely for the start of a New Year. 

Plus, I think it tops most “new year’s resolutions“, which many people might be working on (and already bombed on ;-)). 

The reason is – again – that it is SIMPLE. 

It is based on creating a singular point of focus, which encapsulates multiple different areas of your life. 

Which means, we are getting back to basics. 

You know I love to focus on BELIEFS, and this might be drilling even deeper. 

It is focusing on VIRTUES, which might already be stored – as potential information – in the water of every one of your 50 trillion cells. 

So, unlocking that information, from that many players (50 trillion), can have a pretty potent effect. 

And as I already said, the strategy to turn on the switch is pretty simple.

Continue reading “A Cool Strategy o Break “Unhelpful” Patterns of Behaviour  “
Categories
Choice Decision Making Goal Setting Tips Growth Success Uncategorized

The hidden power of an Impossible Goal

It’s question time.

Who reading this likes reading “business” books? 

There might be a few hands up, but chances are most people would lean towards some good quality fiction before they buried their nose, and used up their precious time, on a business book. 

However, recently I read a (business) book, which I even prioritized over the very well-written and suspenseful fantasy fiction book I was reading. 

It turns out that the business book was REALLY well written. 

Focused on a theme I am infinitely fascinated with. 

It also challenged some of my current beliefs and teachings – which is always a great thing. 

Learning and growing (evolution) is one of the main games after all. 

The thing I also realised with the theme, was it could as equally apply to “PEOPLE”, as it did business. 

It caused me to take a good hard look at a few things I had been trifling with of late. 

The book in question is called “The Science of Scaling” by Dr Benjamin Hardy and Blake Erikson. 

(If you are a business owner or in senior management, I STRONGLY encourage you to read this book before you start the New Year).

These dudes were about scaling businesses. 

Where I am about “scaling” people. 

Taking them from Version 1.0 to Version 2.0 (which is not a linear transition but an exponential transition).  

Do you want to know what my biggest take-aways were? 

Continue reading “The hidden power of an Impossible Goal”

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