Category: Problem

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Choice Decision Making Emotional Overwhelm Problem

An Awesome Problem-Solving Tool

Firstly, the ESP is not (exactly) extra sensory perception, though perhaps there is some of that still going on.

Secondly, it is thanks to a client conversation the other day for the creation of this tool.

Or more, the synthesizing of a few different tools into one.

The idea came after seeing the usual pattern when we have a PROBLEM show up in our lives.

The usual flow looks like this:

Problem > Trigger > REACTION > Emotional Explosion (big or small) > Trying to solve problem > OUTCOME

One of the major downsides of this is the OUTCOME.

Which is actually the most important bit.

Usually the outcome – using this pathway – is that it “might” be okay in the short-term, but is very unlikely to be useful or appropriate over the long-term.

The reason is that when we are in a survival emotional state (which this sets up), we have limited access to the frontal cortex of our brain, which is where we ENVISION (realistic) future consequences of our choices.

We are in short-term survival mode.

Not ‘making-choices-to-shape-your-greatest-destiny’ mode.

So we need to INTERRUPT the pattern.

This is where our ESP Tool comes in.

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Belief Choice Emotional Negative Emotions Perspective Problem

16 Years Coaching and This is Still The #1 Root Cause

For over 16 years I have been Coaching.

Essentially helping people get from where they are to where they want to be.

And figuring out what is in their way.

That is, what might be their greatest obstacles.

Real and PERCEIVED.

Is the obstacle a poor understanding of what they want?

Are they unclear of where they are starting from (i.e. don’t ‘know thyself’ so well)?

Is there a skill gap?

Etc.

Of all the things that disrupt people from navigating life in a meaningful, fulfilling and joyful way, something keeps showing up as numero uno Root Cause of Trouble (with a capital ‘T’) in our lives.

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Choice Life Lessons Perspective Problem Relationship Success

Don’t Do This, If You Want What You Want

This article and insight is inspired by time spent in the kitchen the other day.

I was in the kitchen the other day with my partner Ferry (who happens to be an awesome cook).

She said something that got me thinking.

And brought us to today’s conversation.

A conversation which includes politicians, fraudsters, hypnotherapists and probably we could put a 4-year old into the mix as well.

The thing that happened with Ferry in the kitchen was this…

It was a very simple comment.

Ferry said: “Can you put some water into the kettle?” (I am pretty sure she did not say please).

As I went about this chore I am thinking exactly how much water is ‘some’?

“Some” is pretty non-descriptive.

It’s a pretty broad generalization.

Do I put in a teaspoon, a tablespoon, a half cup, a full cup, a couple of cups??

I have no clue.

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Fear Feeling Life Lessons Negative Emotions Perspective Problem

How to Stop Getting Triggered

One of the primary things I do when working with new clients is have them record when they get TRIGGERED.

This information is gold dust.

Outstanding feedback.

BUT…only if you do something with it.

We all get triggered.

But IT is the wisest among us who learn from it, in order to grow and evolve and to not get triggered (as much or not at all) next time.

Firstly let me define what I mean by ‘Getting Triggered‘.

It is essentially any time where we are reactively taken out of an elevated emotional state, neutral state or homeostasis, and dropped into a survival emotional state. Essentially the amygdala has determined there is some sort of physical threat, so it activates the sympathetic nervous system, and we have a physiological fight, flight or freeze response. This does not include automatic responses to real physical threats.

Sometimes we are ‘positively’ triggered and that is awesome and another great thing to learn from.

Thumbs up and now do more of that.

However, for this article (and your ongoing well-being) I am more interested in the ‘negative‘ triggers, and the bigger the trigger, the more (loving) attention we need to give them.

Examples include: getting triggered by an email, getting triggered while driving on the road, getting triggered by your partner or friends, getting triggered by people wearing face masks while alone on a beach, getting triggered by being told ‘no’, getting triggered by people riding motorbikes through intersections while texting on their phones, etc..

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Choice Decision Making Perspective Problem Success

If You Are not Using This Strategy, You Are Doing the Wrong Stuff

I am a big fan of ‘strategies’.

Especially if they are simple to learn and incorporate.

And extra especially is they have a High ROI (return on investment).

Meaning big results for minimal effort.

So I decided to grab the best strategy from my book Decision Making Mastery, and share here.

(Also, I dropped a rather large gas bottle on my finger a few days ago, so one of my two typing fingers is out of action, so I thought I would find a way to serve you, while only having one finger to type with ;-)).

My request is that you diligently use this strategy for ONE WEEK and then you let me know the benefits you experienced (and then I get to say “I told you so”.

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Decision Making Emotional Feeling Negative Emotions Overwhelm Problem

Don’t Let This Derail You from Your Goals

Goals. Goals. Goals.

We all have them, because worthy Goals give meaning to our life.

Without worthy Goals we stagnate, don’t experience fulfillment and spend our waking hours on a mindless hamster wheel.

Therefore we want to know what processes help us kick those Goals we have our beady eyes on.

And derail us.

Are you ready to hear about one of the places where people screw it up?

Let’s dive in.

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Choice consciousness Growth Perspective Problem Relationship

The 3 Essentials Parts to Setting ‘Effective’ Boundaries

Listen or Download – me reading this from Dropbox

Hands up if you are slightly crap, or totally crap, at setting boundaries.

Want to know a secret?

It might not be that you are bad at setting boundaries.

It might be that you are missing two other essential elements to get the best out of your BOUNDARY setting.

Or then again…

You might never have given enough thought, attention or energy to establishing what a boundary looks like for YOU.

In my experience there are 3 ESSENTIALS when it comes to getting the most out of boundaries.

When I say ‘getting the most’ I really mean…

More PEACE, harmony and space to be and express YOU.

Let’s dive straight into the 3 Essentials, which are presented in the order of their application.

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Choice Confidence Decision Making Optimum Health Perspective Problem Success

Why Use Only 1 Brain When You Have 3 Brains?

Yes, I said 3!

And no, I have not lost the plot or been smoking weed (as a new hobby).

All will be revealed very shortly.

And then you will get to reap the benefits.

If you have heard me talk about this before, my apologies, but I am going to hazard a guess that you could benefit from a wee reminder.

For those new to your powerful, potent and task-specific 3 brains, let’s journey on.

Remember; the better we optimize our brains, the better decisions we make, and the greater Destiny we co-create.

WOOHOO!!

Continue reading “Why Use Only 1 Brain When You Have 3 Brains?”
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Choice Confidence Decision Making Life Lessons Perspective Problem Stress Success

How to Get Sh#t Done and Prepare for Curve Balls

Most of my last 20+ years has been trying to figure out how I can make stuff happen (in my favour and with the least amount of energy) and how I can teach others what I have learned.

What works a little, a lot, or not at all.

Last week I talked about building up the Leader within us, and how being a greater leader is ESSENTIAL when it comes to optimizing our experience in life.

The other part of the optimizing-life-and-results-game is not only coming up with the great ideas and insights, but actually acting on them.

You, like me, probably know a lot of ‘great ideas’ people, who spend a lot of time marching on the spot and getting not much actually done.

Ideas are great, but it’s the execution of those ideas that brings them into being.

So…

How do we make sh#t happen, when it takes effort and energy (and sometimes we just don’t feel like doing it)?

Enter left of stage our inner WARRIOR.

Or to be more precise; enter from the very core of our gut, the part of us that gets stuff done…even when we don’t feel like it.

I believe all of us have a Warrior spirit within us.

Unfortunately, sometimes the Warrior needs more prodding and poking to ‘wake it up’.

It’s like our inner Warrior is still working off the after effects of an all-nighter and 3 bottles of red.

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Choice Decision Making Emotional Optimum Health Problem Stress

Emotional Eating Does Not Solve The Root Cause

In order to keep these conversations with you relevant, I like to draw on real-life experiences I am exposed to (generally with my coaching clients).

This was as a result of a conversation with a client the other day.

The context is they wanted to better understand why (exactly) – when they are upset – they quaff a couple of glasses of wine, while snacking thorough a bunch of chocolate bars.

I think we might all identify this as ’emotional eating’.

You experience a negative emotional state, which leads to binge eating.

And unfortunately, the binge eating generally does not involve carrot or celery sticks and a homemade organic dip.

It is most often high calorie, low nutrient, foods.

Why? Why? Why?

And what to do?

Continue reading “Emotional Eating Does Not Solve The Root Cause”

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