Is that What You Really Want to Know?

brainYou have an amazing brain. It is a lot more capable than you can imagine. So here is how to tap into a LOT more of your amazing potential to get the results you really want.

The possibility

Your brain works like a super computer. It has immense capability. Untapped potential. It is packed with million dollar ideas. In it are solutions to your every problem. It is truly awesome!

The challenge

But the downside is that your brain can’t guess what you want to know, and it doesn’t do so well at the right, wrong, good or bad stuff. It just delivers.

Special delivery

Here is what your amazing brain delivers: THE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS YOU ASK IT.

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How to Rewire Your Mind for Happiness

 happyAs you know, I (Carl) love to read and learn. One of the books I have recently read is called Hardwiring Happiness by Rick Hanson Ph.D. Great read and a great take on a powerful strategy I want to share with you. But first some background.  

Velcro and Teflon

Rick Hanson makes a great statement when he says we are like Velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good. In other words we readily notice and are attracted to the ‘bad’ and tend to not let in or quickly move past the ‘good’. Now it is no one’s fault really. It is just part of our crazy evolution and in-built survival mechanisms. Back in the day (a few 100,000 years ago), we would only survive if we were hyper-sensitive to threats. So we got REALLY good at noticing all the things that could potentially go wrong. And that fixation on the ‘bad’ for all those years means we are generally subconsciously programmed to notice the bad and brush over the good.

All is not lost though and Hanson reminds us of what we can do about it. Something he calls ‘hardwiring happiness’.

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How to Get Out of A Funky Mood

funkyToday I (Carl) woke up a little bit flat…

I did my usual stretches in bed after I woke up. Then focused on what i wanted in my day. Followed by a big glass of water with a dash of apple cider vinegar (my morning alkaline and hydration fix). Then ablutions, which I will spare you from. Next was about 30 mins of meditation and still I was feeling uninspired. Also known as feeling like c-r-a-p (added the hyphens to slip past the company firewalls that don’t like swear words – what has the world come to???).

So then I did my energization exercises…still feeling like p-o-o-p.

Followed by some tapping (emotional freedom technique)…still not there.

And then I remembered one simple technique I teach others and that I picked up from Brain Johnson, who picked it up from someone else. And that is what I share in the video below.

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The 6 Essential Steps to ELITE Goal Setting by Carl Massy

Blog 8Too often we get caught up in the questions of ‘how are we going to achieve our goals’ before we have completed the most fundamental and important steps – which are the things that will actually enable us to achieve our goal; but even more so, they will lead us to goals that will actually make us happy. Now there is a novel idea. Choosing goals that will actually make us happy – not stressed, not overwhelmed, not left thinking ‘is this it?’, but HAPPY. I like it!

Do you remember the newsletter where I wrote about goals being responsible for 50% of our happiness (Discover what 50% of the happiness equation depends on)? It makes sense doesn’t it. If we have no goals we flounder. If we have crap goes we are very likely to be unfulfilled and wonder if this is all there is. But if we have deeply meaningful goals then we are on the right track and will feel pretty damn good about ourselves and our lives.

So for me the two biggest things to nail in the whole goal setting and creating the life you want dealio is to figure out what your goal is, and then make sure you have really powerful reasons (and meaning) for why you want this goal.

Now a bit of the (brain) science to achievement

When we form a picture in our mind of what we want we start to fire up the mind. It starts to light up. However it is the consciously created REASONS that we associate with that goal, which will start the chemical process related to emotions. If the goal (and vision) is deeply meaningful it will cause the brain to initiate the release of neuro-chemicals and hormones, that not only create emotions (which will inspire and motivate you), but according to cellular biologist Bruce Lipton, they will actually start to affect the expression of your genes. The who you become stuff. Plus this chemical cocktail will affect the energetic resonance of your body (since we are all made of energy). It will put you into a good vibe. Continue reading

I just needed to share this need-to-know relationship advice about ‘soul-mates’

soulmateWhat if I was to say the whole soul mate thing could actually make you LESS HAPPY and your relationship LESS CONNECTED. Would you pay attention?

I really hope so, because it is a message and perspective that I want to share with you, as a result of it popping up time and time again with my clients. Regardless of whether they are in a relationship, working on a new one or on your way out of a current one. This will definitely benefit you to know.

Actually I strongly recommend you listen to the Audio Recording I recently recorded on this topic, but in a lot more detail and with a lot of other awesome relationship advice in 18 minutes of goodness!!

Click here to listen to this VERY VALUABLE advice and perspective.

First the Facts

  • It requires effort to maintain a great relationship.
  • There are plenty of external and internal pressures on relationships.
  • The idea that we have a ‘soul mate’ is just that – an idea. It is not something that can be irrefutably proven.
  • The more calm and mindful we are in a relationship; the more likely that we will make decisions and act in a way that serves the relationship.
  • Anxiety or stress reduces our decision-making & thinking faculties and ability to see a broader or higher perspective (it physically narrows our vision).

Pressure Cooking

Do you think the following BELIEFS would increase or reduce stress (anxiety) in a relationship or when looking to create a high quality relationship?

  1. There is only one person on the entire planet that is a perfect match for me.
  2. I can have a deep connection with lots of different people.
  3. If I lose my soul-mate I am doomed to wander the earth single for the next 50 years.
  4. Relationships last as long as they do.
  5. The depth and quality of the relationship is highly dependent on myself.

Obviously, you identified Option 1 and 3 as beliefs that may put a little or a LOT of pressure on finding or maintaining a relationship. If you are so scared of losing your soul-mate you may also be less inclined to ask the deeper, but extremely important, questions of them. Like do they want to have children? At what age? How many? Where do you they want to live? What are their long-term goals? What is their number 1 value? What is the vision for their life? What sort of lifestyle would they be happy with? What are their career aspirations? What relationship do they expect to maintain with their family? Etc. Etc. Etc. Not asking the deeper questions is a sure-fire way to have future ‘issues’.

From my perspective of the things that do and don’t make you happy, I am here to suggest that we throw the whole soul-mate thing out the rear window.

Now don’t stop reading (yet) if you are a romantic or ‘spiritual’ person

Keep reading, because I am not slandering love, happily ever after, or spiritual connections.

I suggest a more reasonable Solution like this:

SWAP the idea of a soul-mate for the reality a SOUL-CONNECTION (or heart connection).

The soul-connection requires you to show up as your best self. To be the best person you can be in that relationship and also to come into the relationship as authentically as you can. To be vulnerable. To admit and be open with your weaknesses. To be ok with being wrong. To learn and then move on. To work each day on expressing your heart-felt love for your partner. That is the stuff that really makes a relationship shine. So concentrate on developing a soul-connection rather than wandering in search of the elusive soul-mate.

Now I go into more detail and share more relationship strategies in the Strategic Happiness Podcast that I recorded this morning. So I strongly encourage you to check that out.

Click here to listen to more great perspectives and my number 1 belief about relationships.

Let me know your thoughts by commenting below. Please share this with others as well as I think it is a valuable lesson for us all. One less pressure in the relationship game is a BIG DEAL!

Have an awesome day too!!

Carl Massy

 

 

 

Having stuff, doing stuff and increasing happiness.

doing I have decided to write this article backwards. What the heck does that mean, you may be asking? It is like this. I want to share a very important piece of information for your future Happiness (so you understand it intellectually). Then I will explain in detail the ‘why’ (so you get it emotionally). So here goes.

Research by social psychologists tells us buying an EXPERIENCE (such as a trip, concert, or great meal) will give us more HAPPINESS than buying a MATERIAL OBJECT (such as clothing, jewellery, or electronics).

Now before you think I am telling you to give everything away and head off to the nearest cave, let me assure you, it is about balance. It is also about return on investment (ROI). It is about spending that $100 on something that has the greatest Happiness ROI. In this case, the research tells us, the picnic with friends ($100 for snacks and drinks) will bring you more happiness than the $100 shiny new bracelet. Plus if you want to take it one notch higher, taking photos of the picnic, with friends, will lead to more feelings of happiness well after the event.

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