Category: Negative Emotions

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Belief Choice Emotional Negative Emotions Perspective Problem

16 Years Coaching and This is Still The #1 Root Cause

For over 16 years I have been Coaching.

Essentially helping people get from where they are to where they want to be.

And figuring out what is in their way.

That is, what might be their greatest obstacles.

Real and PERCEIVED.

Is the obstacle a poor understanding of what they want?

Are they unclear of where they are starting from (i.e. don’t ‘know thyself’ so well)?

Is there a skill gap?

Etc.

Of all the things that disrupt people from navigating life in a meaningful, fulfilling and joyful way, something keeps showing up as numero uno Root Cause of Trouble (with a capital ‘T’) in our lives.

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consciousness Fear Feeling Growth Negative Emotions Perspective

When Pride is Not A Good Thing

Extract from 18 Ways We Make Life Way Harder Than It Needs To Be by Carl Massy (WAY 16)

“Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold.”

Thomas Jefferson (US President and primary Author of US Declaration of Independence)

I think most of us were taught that ‘pride’ is a good thing. To feel proud for who and what we are. To take pride in what we do. To take pride in what we have achieved – be it over the course of our lives or over the last few weeks working on a new project at work, which we totally nailed!

So yes, pride can be a good thing. But like many things, there can be another side to it, when taken to extreme. It is like all great virtues. They are great when they are applied in a conscious self-aware way. Too much bravery and someone can become reckless. Too much loyalty and someone can be taken advantage of or stuck in something for longer than is healthy. Too much single-mindedness and someone can meander down the wrong path. Too much flexibility and someone can be all over the place.

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Choice Doubt Emotional Feeling Negative Emotions Overwhelm Perspective

How to Deal with Overwhelm

ANOTHER EFFECTIVE WAY TO DEAL WITH GREATER LEVELS OF OVERWHELM.

In the past I have spoken about different ways to deal with stress and OVERWHELM.

And I am sure it (overwhelm) is a topic you can also relate to.

It is not whether we will experience overwhelm or not.

It is about ‘when’, and then HOW WE DEAL WITH IT.

That is where I will take you.

I am personally feeling overwhelmed about now.

But it is not the minor daily stuff, but the “WTF do I do next?!” sort of stuff.

My Morning Rituals and Weekly Meeting with Me Inc do a great job most of the time, but if stuff builds up, or there are new factors, our ability to cope can reach overflow.

That is what today’s strategy is dealing with.

For me, the overwhelm is the result of: selling our house, building a new house (in a foreign country), doing the money juggling act, managing my current coaching clients (and new clients), helping my first-time authors finish their books, getting coaching programs organised for 2024 (because this year is whizzing by), plus finishing my book and associated parts, then publishing and launching it on 20 November. And a couple of weeks ago I made the decision to have our sausage dog of 16-years put down.

So a bunch of stuff going on, but maybe the book launch is the thing that is probably pushing me over the line, since it is a significant project.

So what to do????

Essentially I need to figure some shit out.

Organise the jigsaw pieces.

But how best to do that…??

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Fear Feeling Life Lessons Negative Emotions Perspective Problem

How to Stop Getting Triggered

One of the primary things I do when working with new clients is have them record when they get TRIGGERED.

This information is gold dust.

Outstanding feedback.

BUT…only if you do something with it.

We all get triggered.

But IT is the wisest among us who learn from it, in order to grow and evolve and to not get triggered (as much or not at all) next time.

Firstly let me define what I mean by ‘Getting Triggered‘.

It is essentially any time where we are reactively taken out of an elevated emotional state, neutral state or homeostasis, and dropped into a survival emotional state. Essentially the amygdala has determined there is some sort of physical threat, so it activates the sympathetic nervous system, and we have a physiological fight, flight or freeze response. This does not include automatic responses to real physical threats.

Sometimes we are ‘positively’ triggered and that is awesome and another great thing to learn from.

Thumbs up and now do more of that.

However, for this article (and your ongoing well-being) I am more interested in the ‘negative‘ triggers, and the bigger the trigger, the more (loving) attention we need to give them.

Examples include: getting triggered by an email, getting triggered while driving on the road, getting triggered by your partner or friends, getting triggered by people wearing face masks while alone on a beach, getting triggered by being told ‘no’, getting triggered by people riding motorbikes through intersections while texting on their phones, etc..

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Decision Making Emotional Feeling Negative Emotions Overwhelm Problem

Don’t Let This Derail You from Your Goals

Goals. Goals. Goals.

We all have them, because worthy Goals give meaning to our life.

Without worthy Goals we stagnate, don’t experience fulfillment and spend our waking hours on a mindless hamster wheel.

Therefore we want to know what processes help us kick those Goals we have our beady eyes on.

And derail us.

Are you ready to hear about one of the places where people screw it up?

Let’s dive in.

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Belief consciousness Emotional Feeling Negative Emotions

A Revealing Look at Genes

A CASE STUDY: GENES VERSUS ENVIRONMENT

Knowledge is powerful stuff.

I know you know.

The greater knowledge we have, the BETTER choices and decisions we can make.

So I am here, for your benefit, sharing some knowledge I discovered along the way.

My full time job is reading, researching and working with people to better understand what makes us do what we do.

And experience the outcomes we do.

A few years ago I had a fascinating experience with a client of mine.

Which supports my observation that the medical ‘healthcare’ system, really doesn’t understand the importance of the environment on our behaviour (and therefore results) and therefore treats ‘symptoms’ with the wrong stuff, which barely touches the root cause.

Let me share this case study of mine, and you can decide if it was primarily a ‘Gene’ thing or an ‘Environmental’ thing.

I will let you be the judge.

I will also leave this section with a quote from Paramahansa Yogananda – who was highly influential in bringing traditional yoga to the west.

He said: “The environment is stronger than the will.“

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Choice Decision Making Negative Emotions Overwhelm Perspective

Great Strategy to Deal with Overwhelm

Hands up if you experience overwhelm occasionally (or a lot).

Hands up if you are human.

Chances are that if you are human you have experienced, do experience, or are currently experiencing, overwhelm.

We have all been there and done that.

So what I want to focus on today, is how to move through, and beyond, overwhelm as ease-fully as possible.

I often work with clients to take them beyond overwhelm into the ‘now I have got this sh#t figured out‘ realm.

My suggested strategy is also inspired by a great book I was recommended (thanks Tom!) called ‘The Master And His Emissary‘ by Iain McGilchrist. It is looking at the similarities and differences between the brain hemispheres, given they are actually asymmetrical.

Fascinating stuff.

But now let’s make it practical.

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Emotional Fear Feeling Negative Emotions Overwhelm Stress

The Consequences of (Emotional) Junk in the Trunk

This is probably one of the most important articles I have written for awhile.

It was inspired by another book I recently read (no surprises there) from Dr Sarno.

The book is called ‘The Divided Mind‘.

It delves into the relationship between the mind, body, emotions and their inter-relationship.

There was also a recent session with a client where I was showing on a whiteboard the consequences – in day-to-day living – if we have too much junk in the trunk.

Or what I am collectively calling suppressed and repressed emotions.

I won’t be writing too deeply into the psychological aspects, but we will go deep enough to make this practical for you.

However I feel I ought prefix that this is REALLY important stuff to know.

What you do with this knowing is then up to you.

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Choice consciousness Emotional Negative Emotions Personality Relationship

Proving, Pride, People-Pleasing and Projecting and The True Cost

I hope you enjoyed the Health Tips over the last couple of weeks.

This week I want to explore a topic that comes up very often with the coaching clients I work with, and which I also observe with friends and family.

It is a whole mix of “P” words.

I have talked at length about how PRIDE holds us back from the full expression of our true potential and its relationship to our ability to raise of our level of consciousness. So although Pride is in the mix of the P’s I won’t detail it again in this article.

The other day I was with a client and we really started to explore why they are doing what they are doing.

And whether it was what they really wanted to do, or were they motivated by other reasons (a few of those “P’s” for example) and what was the cost.

So that is the catalyst for where we are heading today.

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Choice Emotional Negative Emotions Nutrition Optimum Health

My Top Health Tips to Thrive in 2023 (Part 2) Talking Toxicity

We are back again to my favourite topic.

Yours and my health and vitality.

Essentially if we don’t have health, vitality and energy, it is hard to stretch yourself into your FULL POTENTIAL.

Achieving your big hairy audacious goals (BHAG) requires a large amount of consistent, high-grade energy.

So this health stuff is essential.

If you haven’t read Part 1 (Health Tip 1-6), focused mainly around nutrition, check it out too.

Plus you might want to check out my book The Guidebook to Optimum Health, where I obviously go way deeper.

Now, let’s check out round 2.

Continue reading “My Top Health Tips to Thrive in 2023 (Part 2) Talking Toxicity”

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