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Belief Choice Emotional Negative Emotions Perspective Problem

16 Years Coaching and This is Still The #1 Root Cause

For over 16 years I have been Coaching.

Essentially helping people get from where they are to where they want to be.

And figuring out what is in their way.

That is, what might be their greatest obstacles.

Real and PERCEIVED.

Is the obstacle a poor understanding of what they want?

Are they unclear of where they are starting from (i.e. don’t ‘know thyself’ so well)?

Is there a skill gap?

Etc.

Of all the things that disrupt people from navigating life in a meaningful, fulfilling and joyful way, something keeps showing up as numero uno Root Cause of Trouble (with a capital ‘T’) in our lives.

Categories
Choice Life Lessons Perspective Problem Relationship Success

Don’t Do This, If You Want What You Want

This article and insight is inspired by time spent in the kitchen the other day.

I was in the kitchen the other day with my partner Ferry (who happens to be an awesome cook).

She said something that got me thinking.

And brought us to today’s conversation.

A conversation which includes politicians, fraudsters, hypnotherapists and probably we could put a 4-year old into the mix as well.

The thing that happened with Ferry in the kitchen was this…

It was a very simple comment.

Ferry said: “Can you put some water into the kettle?” (I am pretty sure she did not say please).

As I went about this chore I am thinking exactly how much water is ‘some’?

“Some” is pretty non-descriptive.

It’s a pretty broad generalization.

Do I put in a teaspoon, a tablespoon, a half cup, a full cup, a couple of cups??

I have no clue.

Categories
Choice Feeling Growth Happiness Tips Life Purpose Perspective

Is Being Certain (all the time) What We REALLY Want?

I was listening to someone complain the other day.

It made me think of another person I had heard complaining recently.

Unfortunately, that some one was ME.

Bugger!

But it generated a great train of thought, as it lead me to this insight.

Something I sort of knew but glossed over in the whole living life thing.

The other person (who kicked off my thinking) was complaining about how something didn’t work out exactly as they planned.

And had the hump on because of that.

Something they ‘expected’ to happen, did not happen.

And their response was to get narky.

Fair enough.

But consider this…

If everything comes to pass that you expect to come to pass, HOW FRIGGIN BORING would your life be?

Categories
Choice Feeling Goal Setting Tips Happiness Tips Life Purpose Perspective

Without Doing this, Happiness is Elusive

This might be a shorter newsletter, as the point I want to make is pretty easy to explain, and pretty easy to understand.

I am pretty sure all of us can relate to it.

But as always…

It is not just about UNDERSTANDING something; it is about DOING something with that something you are now aware of.

So here it is.

A key to happiness.

A key to making it through a tough or shitty day.

A key to making it though a batch, or bunch, of shitty days.

Categories
consciousness Emotional Feeling Optimum Health Perspective Rest Spirituality

How I Build Grit, Resilience and Determination

Do you want to good news, or the bad news first?

I think most people generally go the bad news first, so here goes.

To my knowledge, there isn’t a PILL on the market that does this job effectively.

Bugger!

The good news is you can do this yourself.

And often, without costing you anything (financially).

However, there might be some cost in sweat and tears.

Double bugger!!

One of my favourite ways to do this is to undertake consciously contrived “challenges”.

And I find the most impactful challenges (i.e. long-term benefits), are the ones which are mostly mental.

Like the 3-day water-only fast that myself, and about 20 other adventurers did last week.

Total (mental) challenge.

By building our grit, resilience, determination and discipline muscles, it makes other challenges in our life – professional and personal – seem not that hard after all.

That is the payback.

And it keeps on giving.

Categories
consciousness Decision Making Life Lessons Overwhelm Perspective

How to Stay Up-to-date Globally Without Losing Your Mind

The other day I was in conversation with friends, and we were talking about ‘world affairs’.

But the most interesting part of that conversation – for me – is how do we stay informed, without being consumed by a whole bunch of ‘bad news’?

And what do we mean being informed?

Is it informed for interest sake?

Is it informed, so we can make informed decisions in our own lives?

Is it informed so we can sound like we know what’s going on in the world to impress our friends?

And how informed do we need to be?

Lots of questions, and playing around in them can make your head spin.

So in this article I want to give you my thoughts and perspective on how to stay informed, to what level, and in a way that is beneficial for you and your lifestyle generation, plus in a way that you don’t lose your sanity, or sense of life being something precious.

Categories
Choice Goal Setting Tips Growth Perspective

Meaningful Goals and Happiness

I am writing this in December, as we come towards the end of the year.

Staring down the barrel of 2024.

December is definitely a time to reflect on the year coming to a close.

Plus is a time to curiously contemplate what your Goals for 2024 might be.

I was talking with a client the other day about the degree of global disruption there is currently; economically, politically and with numerous wars/major conflicts (something like 20 worldwide).

All of these things, shocking as they are, pull our attention, energy and emotions towards them.

In metaphysical terms, and even in quantum physics, it is clear that where attention goes, energy flows.

So one of our greatest challenges is where we put our attention.

What are we creating in our life, as a result of where we are placing our attention?

Are we creating the future we wish to experience?

Categories
Acceptance consciousness Emotional Growth Perspective

Struggling to Find Acceptance? Here’s a Solution.

WHEN YOU ARE STRUGGLING TO FIND “ACCEPTANCE”, HERE’S WHAT TO DO

I think we all realise that it is more spiritual, saintly or virtuous, to be able to ACCEPT that which is.

There is also a difference between knowing this ‘principle’ and actually trying to apply it to real life.

Especially when life can be pretty horrendous at times.

Or people can be so ‘bad’ at times.

We are forever hearing of terrible things (personally or collectively), and the idea of Acceptance (of these horrible things) is a pretty bitter pill to swallow.

Again, we might know that Acceptance is a higher path, but boy oh boy can it be friggin hard to get to at times!

And again there is a difference between telling ourselves we have accepted something in our lives, and ACTUALLY accepting it all the way down into our bones.

When we intellectually accept things (“Yes, I accept X”), often our emotions and behaviours just don’t get the ‘Memo’.

So…

What to do?

Categories
Choice Decision Making Meditation Nutrition Optimum Health Perspective Physical Activity Success

Want More Energy? Then Target These 2 Things

I believe one of my principle ‘reasons for being’ on the planet is to help others.

And the thing I think most helps others is them having more ENERGY.

If we have more energy, then we have more capacity to do awesome stuff.

And to create awesome stuff.

And to be awesome human beings.

So I am fascinated with, and seriously committed to figuring out: HOW CAN WE HAVE (EVEN) MORE ENERGY?

Plus how can we best use it once we have powered up.

Today I will focus on the generation of energy, and then in another article I will talk about the (best) utilization of our energy.

There are 2 principle ways to have the most energy, as I see it.

  1. Generate more.
  2. Waste less.

Let’s start with the first.

Categories
consciousness Fear Feeling Growth Negative Emotions Perspective

When Pride is Not A Good Thing

Extract from 18 Ways We Make Life Way Harder Than It Needs To Be by Carl Massy (WAY 16)

“Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold.”

Thomas Jefferson (US President and primary Author of US Declaration of Independence)

I think most of us were taught that ‘pride’ is a good thing. To feel proud for who and what we are. To take pride in what we do. To take pride in what we have achieved – be it over the course of our lives or over the last few weeks working on a new project at work, which we totally nailed!

So yes, pride can be a good thing. But like many things, there can be another side to it, when taken to extreme. It is like all great virtues. They are great when they are applied in a conscious self-aware way. Too much bravery and someone can become reckless. Too much loyalty and someone can be taken advantage of or stuck in something for longer than is healthy. Too much single-mindedness and someone can meander down the wrong path. Too much flexibility and someone can be all over the place.