Category: Emotional

Categories
Choice Decision Making Emotional Goal Setting Tips Overwhelm Success

The 1, 2, 3 to Getting More Clarity

The title may be a little misleading.

I was actually not thinking of step 1, step 2, and step 3.

But rather, Level 1, Level 2 and Level 3, when it comes to getting more CLARITY.

And in this case, the levels also refer to the size of the ‘problem’ or issues, or the size of the consequences of the decisions you have to make.

Let’s think of it like this:

Level 1 – A problem or decision to solve or figure out, but that is not too big or high in consequences.

Level 2 – The problem or decisions is a bigger, or more complex, and has more consequences if you “F” it up.

Level 3 – This is where the decisions you are making are complex, there numerous overlapping parts, and possibly a shortage of resources, so you need to be extra creative, plus the consequences of “F’ing it up” are pretty high (and potentially a huge pain in the butt and maybe even a potential financial loss).

So I see that these three levels of “challenge” require three different ENVIRONMENTS to enhance the probability of me solving it to the best of my ability.

I also like to use the metaphor of ‘stepping back’.

Level 1 = small step back.

Level 2 = medium size step backwards.

Level 3 = a big step backwards to allow the greatest level of perspective.

Continue reading “The 1, 2, 3 to Getting More Clarity”
Categories
Acceptance Doubt Emotional Growth Life Lessons Meditation Perspective Stress

How is Your Patience Going? Want More?

So…

How is your patience?

If you are anything like me, then at times it is crap.

I was just talking to my partner – Ferry – about ‘having patience’ the other night, as we transit between our farm and our ‘main’ house, waiting for the sale of our ‘main’ house, before we finish building our other ‘main’ house on our farm.

I don’t like mortgages, so I need to exercise the ‘patience’ to wait for the sale of our house, which is dragging on, and on and on…

So I have spent intimate time face-to-face with the thing called patience of late and I – as always – want to figure out how I can do it better.

At first I thought you can’t ‘force’ patience.

As in, you can’t DO stuff to make ‘more’ patience.

Because it is more about surrendering, letting go, and stepping back.

BUT…

Then I sat with and went deeper to understand patience from all angles and this is what I came up with.

Continue reading “How is Your Patience Going? Want More?”
Categories
Choice Decision Making Emotional Overwhelm Problem

An Awesome Problem-Solving Tool

Firstly, the ESP is not (exactly) extra sensory perception, though perhaps there is some of that still going on.

Secondly, it is thanks to a client conversation the other day for the creation of this tool.

Or more, the synthesizing of a few different tools into one.

The idea came after seeing the usual pattern when we have a PROBLEM show up in our lives.

The usual flow looks like this:

Problem > Trigger > REACTION > Emotional Explosion (big or small) > Trying to solve problem > OUTCOME

One of the major downsides of this is the OUTCOME.

Which is actually the most important bit.

Usually the outcome – using this pathway – is that it “might” be okay in the short-term, but is very unlikely to be useful or appropriate over the long-term.

The reason is that when we are in a survival emotional state (which this sets up), we have limited access to the frontal cortex of our brain, which is where we ENVISION (realistic) future consequences of our choices.

We are in short-term survival mode.

Not ‘making-choices-to-shape-your-greatest-destiny’ mode.

So we need to INTERRUPT the pattern.

This is where our ESP Tool comes in.

Continue reading “An Awesome Problem-Solving Tool”
Categories
Belief Choice Emotional Negative Emotions Perspective Problem

16 Years Coaching and This is Still The #1 Root Cause

For over 16 years I have been Coaching.

Essentially helping people get from where they are to where they want to be.

And figuring out what is in their way.

That is, what might be their greatest obstacles.

Real and PERCEIVED.

Is the obstacle a poor understanding of what they want?

Are they unclear of where they are starting from (i.e. don’t ‘know thyself’ so well)?

Is there a skill gap?

Etc.

Of all the things that disrupt people from navigating life in a meaningful, fulfilling and joyful way, something keeps showing up as numero uno Root Cause of Trouble (with a capital ‘T’) in our lives.

Continue reading “16 Years Coaching and This is Still The #1 Root Cause”
Categories
consciousness Emotional Feeling Optimum Health Perspective Rest Spirituality

How I Build Grit, Resilience and Determination

Do you want to good news, or the bad news first?

I think most people generally go the bad news first, so here goes.

To my knowledge, there isn’t a PILL on the market that does this job effectively.

Bugger!

The good news is you can do this yourself.

And often, without costing you anything (financially).

However, there might be some cost in sweat and tears.

Double bugger!!

One of my favourite ways to do this is to undertake consciously contrived “challenges”.

And I find the most impactful challenges (i.e. long-term benefits), are the ones which are mostly mental.

Like the 3-day water-only fast that myself, and about 20 other adventurers did last week.

Total (mental) challenge.

By building our grit, resilience, determination and discipline muscles, it makes other challenges in our life – professional and personal – seem not that hard after all.

That is the payback.

And it keeps on giving.

Continue reading “How I Build Grit, Resilience and Determination”
Categories
Acceptance consciousness Emotional Growth Perspective

Struggling to Find Acceptance? Here’s a Solution.

WHEN YOU ARE STRUGGLING TO FIND “ACCEPTANCE”, HERE’S WHAT TO DO

I think we all realise that it is more spiritual, saintly or virtuous, to be able to ACCEPT that which is.

There is also a difference between knowing this ‘principle’ and actually trying to apply it to real life.

Especially when life can be pretty horrendous at times.

Or people can be so ‘bad’ at times.

We are forever hearing of terrible things (personally or collectively), and the idea of Acceptance (of these horrible things) is a pretty bitter pill to swallow.

Again, we might know that Acceptance is a higher path, but boy oh boy can it be friggin hard to get to at times!

And again there is a difference between telling ourselves we have accepted something in our lives, and ACTUALLY accepting it all the way down into our bones.

When we intellectually accept things (“Yes, I accept X”), often our emotions and behaviours just don’t get the ‘Memo’.

So…

What to do?

Continue reading “Struggling to Find Acceptance? Here’s a Solution.”
Categories
Choice Decision Making Emotional Growth Optimum Health Perspective

A 19th Way We Make Life WAY Harder

Today we are going to talk about fuel.

Fuel for you, so you get stuff done; the stuff which is best for you in the short and long term, and that contributes to the quality and enjoyment of your life.

We are going to talk about the fuel source called WILLPOWER.

We make life a lot harder when we don’t understand the limitations of willpower.

And what might be a better (less HARD inducing) choice.

Here is the thing.

And where it gets a bit paradoxical.

We may need to use willpower in order to get to the place where we can use another more effective and efficient fuel source.

That fuel source is HABIT.

Well habit isn’t actually a source of fuel, it is more a system which is more efficient in its energy consumption.

Willpower burns fuel (energy) quickly.

Habit burns fuel (energy) more efficiently.

So if you utilize HABIT more, and WILLPOWER less, you will have MORE ENERGY available to direct into your life desires, or have more redundancy for life’s inevitable curve balls.

Essentially life is WAY harder if we don’t have any energy left over for the unplanned, unforeseen and unexpected

Bugger!

Continue reading “A 19th Way We Make Life WAY Harder”
Categories
Choice Doubt Emotional Feeling Negative Emotions Overwhelm Perspective

How to Deal with Overwhelm

ANOTHER EFFECTIVE WAY TO DEAL WITH GREATER LEVELS OF OVERWHELM.

In the past I have spoken about different ways to deal with stress and OVERWHELM.

And I am sure it (overwhelm) is a topic you can also relate to.

It is not whether we will experience overwhelm or not.

It is about ‘when’, and then HOW WE DEAL WITH IT.

That is where I will take you.

I am personally feeling overwhelmed about now.

But it is not the minor daily stuff, but the “WTF do I do next?!” sort of stuff.

My Morning Rituals and Weekly Meeting with Me Inc do a great job most of the time, but if stuff builds up, or there are new factors, our ability to cope can reach overflow.

That is what today’s strategy is dealing with.

For me, the overwhelm is the result of: selling our house, building a new house (in a foreign country), doing the money juggling act, managing my current coaching clients (and new clients), helping my first-time authors finish their books, getting coaching programs organised for 2024 (because this year is whizzing by), plus finishing my book and associated parts, then publishing and launching it on 20 November. And a couple of weeks ago I made the decision to have our sausage dog of 16-years put down.

So a bunch of stuff going on, but maybe the book launch is the thing that is probably pushing me over the line, since it is a significant project.

So what to do????

Essentially I need to figure some shit out.

Organise the jigsaw pieces.

But how best to do that…??

Continue reading “How to Deal with Overwhelm”
Categories
Choice Emotional Fear Growth Life Lessons

A Sneak Peak Inside My Next Book

I have been threatening to send you a sample from my upcoming book, so here is the PREFACE, which gives you a sense of where I am going with the book, plus I get to share with you some of my (mis)adventures and insights along the way.

Please enjoy.

PREFACE

“It is through science that we prove, but through intuition that we discover.”

Henry Poincare (French Mathematician)

Have you ever been to Bali (Indonesia)?

What a magical place. Beaches. Balinese massages. Sunshine. Great surfing. Outstanding food (did anyone tell you Bali is a food mecca?). Beautiful local people. Such an amazing place to relocate to, in order to start the next phase of your life journey and professional transition. What could possibly go wrong?

And yes, I was chuckling as I wrote that line, as I am sure at some points in your life you have uttered those very same magical and fateful words. “What could possibly go wrong?”

Continue reading “A Sneak Peak Inside My Next Book”
Categories
Decision Making Emotional Feeling Negative Emotions Overwhelm Problem

Don’t Let This Derail You from Your Goals

Goals. Goals. Goals.

We all have them, because worthy Goals give meaning to our life.

Without worthy Goals we stagnate, don’t experience fulfillment and spend our waking hours on a mindless hamster wheel.

Therefore we want to know what processes help us kick those Goals we have our beady eyes on.

And derail us.

Are you ready to hear about one of the places where people screw it up?

Let’s dive in.

Continue reading “Don’t Let This Derail You from Your Goals”

Search Blog