Categories
Belief Choice Emotional Negative Emotions Perspective Problem

16 Years Coaching and This is Still The #1 Root Cause

For over 16 years I have been Coaching.

Essentially helping people get from where they are to where they want to be.

And figuring out what is in their way.

That is, what might be their greatest obstacles.

Real and PERCEIVED.

Is the obstacle a poor understanding of what they want?

Are they unclear of where they are starting from (i.e. don’t ‘know thyself’ so well)?

Is there a skill gap?

Etc.

Of all the things that disrupt people from navigating life in a meaningful, fulfilling and joyful way, something keeps showing up as numero uno Root Cause of Trouble (with a capital ‘T’) in our lives.

Categories
consciousness Emotional Feeling Optimum Health Perspective Rest Spirituality

How I Build Grit, Resilience and Determination

Do you want to good news, or the bad news first?

I think most people generally go the bad news first, so here goes.

To my knowledge, there isn’t a PILL on the market that does this job effectively.

Bugger!

The good news is you can do this yourself.

And often, without costing you anything (financially).

However, there might be some cost in sweat and tears.

Double bugger!!

One of my favourite ways to do this is to undertake consciously contrived “challenges”.

And I find the most impactful challenges (i.e. long-term benefits), are the ones which are mostly mental.

Like the 3-day water-only fast that myself, and about 20 other adventurers did last week.

Total (mental) challenge.

By building our grit, resilience, determination and discipline muscles, it makes other challenges in our life – professional and personal – seem not that hard after all.

That is the payback.

And it keeps on giving.

Categories
Acceptance consciousness Emotional Growth Perspective

Struggling to Find Acceptance? Here’s a Solution.

WHEN YOU ARE STRUGGLING TO FIND “ACCEPTANCE”, HERE’S WHAT TO DO

I think we all realise that it is more spiritual, saintly or virtuous, to be able to ACCEPT that which is.

There is also a difference between knowing this ‘principle’ and actually trying to apply it to real life.

Especially when life can be pretty horrendous at times.

Or people can be so ‘bad’ at times.

We are forever hearing of terrible things (personally or collectively), and the idea of Acceptance (of these horrible things) is a pretty bitter pill to swallow.

Again, we might know that Acceptance is a higher path, but boy oh boy can it be friggin hard to get to at times!

And again there is a difference between telling ourselves we have accepted something in our lives, and ACTUALLY accepting it all the way down into our bones.

When we intellectually accept things (“Yes, I accept X”), often our emotions and behaviours just don’t get the ‘Memo’.

So…

What to do?

Categories
Choice Decision Making Emotional Growth Optimum Health Perspective

A 19th Way We Make Life WAY Harder

Today we are going to talk about fuel.

Fuel for you, so you get stuff done; the stuff which is best for you in the short and long term, and that contributes to the quality and enjoyment of your life.

We are going to talk about the fuel source called WILLPOWER.

We make life a lot harder when we don’t understand the limitations of willpower.

And what might be a better (less HARD inducing) choice.

Here is the thing.

And where it gets a bit paradoxical.

We may need to use willpower in order to get to the place where we can use another more effective and efficient fuel source.

That fuel source is HABIT.

Well habit isn’t actually a source of fuel, it is more a system which is more efficient in its energy consumption.

Willpower burns fuel (energy) quickly.

Habit burns fuel (energy) more efficiently.

So if you utilize HABIT more, and WILLPOWER less, you will have MORE ENERGY available to direct into your life desires, or have more redundancy for life’s inevitable curve balls.

Essentially life is WAY harder if we don’t have any energy left over for the unplanned, unforeseen and unexpected

Bugger!

Categories
Choice Doubt Emotional Feeling Negative Emotions Overwhelm Perspective

How to Deal with Overwhelm

ANOTHER EFFECTIVE WAY TO DEAL WITH GREATER LEVELS OF OVERWHELM.

In the past I have spoken about different ways to deal with stress and OVERWHELM.

And I am sure it (overwhelm) is a topic you can also relate to.

It is not whether we will experience overwhelm or not.

It is about ‘when’, and then HOW WE DEAL WITH IT.

That is where I will take you.

I am personally feeling overwhelmed about now.

But it is not the minor daily stuff, but the “WTF do I do next?!” sort of stuff.

My Morning Rituals and Weekly Meeting with Me Inc do a great job most of the time, but if stuff builds up, or there are new factors, our ability to cope can reach overflow.

That is what today’s strategy is dealing with.

For me, the overwhelm is the result of: selling our house, building a new house (in a foreign country), doing the money juggling act, managing my current coaching clients (and new clients), helping my first-time authors finish their books, getting coaching programs organised for 2024 (because this year is whizzing by), plus finishing my book and associated parts, then publishing and launching it on 20 November. And a couple of weeks ago I made the decision to have our sausage dog of 16-years put down.

So a bunch of stuff going on, but maybe the book launch is the thing that is probably pushing me over the line, since it is a significant project.

So what to do????

Essentially I need to figure some shit out.

Organise the jigsaw pieces.

But how best to do that…??

Categories
Choice Emotional Fear Growth Life Lessons

A Sneak Peak Inside My Next Book

I have been threatening to send you a sample from my upcoming book, so here is the PREFACE, which gives you a sense of where I am going with the book, plus I get to share with you some of my (mis)adventures and insights along the way.

Please enjoy.

PREFACE

“It is through science that we prove, but through intuition that we discover.”

Henry Poincare (French Mathematician)

Have you ever been to Bali (Indonesia)?

What a magical place. Beaches. Balinese massages. Sunshine. Great surfing. Outstanding food (did anyone tell you Bali is a food mecca?). Beautiful local people. Such an amazing place to relocate to, in order to start the next phase of your life journey and professional transition. What could possibly go wrong?

And yes, I was chuckling as I wrote that line, as I am sure at some points in your life you have uttered those very same magical and fateful words. “What could possibly go wrong?

Categories
Decision Making Emotional Feeling Negative Emotions Overwhelm Problem

Don’t Let This Derail You from Your Goals

Goals. Goals. Goals.

We all have them, because worthy Goals give meaning to our life.

Without worthy Goals we stagnate, don’t experience fulfillment and spend our waking hours on a mindless hamster wheel.

Therefore we want to know what processes help us kick those Goals we have our beady eyes on.

And derail us.

Are you ready to hear about one of the places where people screw it up?

Let’s dive in.

Categories
Choice Doubt Emotional Feeling Honesty Relationship

On Trying to Decide, Do I Stay or Do I Go?

I know you have been here before.

Trying to decide if you stay put – and ride this thing out – or whether to pack your stuff up and jump on the next plane, train or automobile and high-tail it out of town.

The proverbial, do I stay or do I get the hell out of Dodge?

The choice could be in different aspects of your life.

Do you end this (intimate) relationship or see if you can work things out?

Do you leave your current job, or do you stay?

Do you end a business partnership, or do you see if you can work things out?

Do you stay in this house, or can you find something better (which won’t send you broke)?

So many of these decisions are not black or white.

There is a whole bunch of GREY to deal with.

And reliable crystal balls are hard to come by these days.

So what to do?

Categories
Belief consciousness Emotional Feeling Negative Emotions

A Revealing Look at Genes

A CASE STUDY: GENES VERSUS ENVIRONMENT

Knowledge is powerful stuff.

I know you know.

The greater knowledge we have, the BETTER choices and decisions we can make.

So I am here, for your benefit, sharing some knowledge I discovered along the way.

My full time job is reading, researching and working with people to better understand what makes us do what we do.

And experience the outcomes we do.

A few years ago I had a fascinating experience with a client of mine.

Which supports my observation that the medical ‘healthcare’ system, really doesn’t understand the importance of the environment on our behaviour (and therefore results) and therefore treats ‘symptoms’ with the wrong stuff, which barely touches the root cause.

Let me share this case study of mine, and you can decide if it was primarily a ‘Gene’ thing or an ‘Environmental’ thing.

I will let you be the judge.

I will also leave this section with a quote from Paramahansa Yogananda – who was highly influential in bringing traditional yoga to the west.

He said: “The environment is stronger than the will.

Categories
Acceptance Emotional Feeling Growth Life Lessons Perspective

Don’t Do This…Unless You Love Rollercoasters

I am not sure of where you are at when it comes to roller coasters.

Occasionally, they can be fun.

Like once or twice a year (for me), but definitely not weekly.

Pass.

So I would like to (strongly) recommend you don’t make a habit of this.

Unless of course you love roller coasters, and especially the emotional kind…