Categories
Choice Doubt Emotional Feeling Honesty Relationship

On Trying to Decide, Do I Stay or Do I Go?

I know you have been here before.

Trying to decide if you stay put – and ride this thing out – or whether to pack your stuff up and jump on the next plane, train or automobile and high-tail it out of town.

The proverbial, do I stay or do I get the hell out of Dodge?

The choice could be in different aspects of your life.

Do you end this (intimate) relationship or see if you can work things out?

Do you leave your current job, or do you stay?

Do you end a business partnership, or do you see if you can work things out?

Do you stay in this house, or can you find something better (which won’t send you broke)?

So many of these decisions are not black or white.

There is a whole bunch of GREY to deal with.

And reliable crystal balls are hard to come by these days.

So what to do?

Categories
Acceptance Belief Honesty Personality Perspective Relationship

Lessons about Grief, Relationships and Family

I am once again perched on a table at my mum and dad’s place, drinking tea, and reflecting on what I have learned over this last couple of weeks.

For those that did not read my last newsletter article, I spoke about the passing of my father and all of the wonderful lessons he taught me over my life. Thank you for joining me, and getting to know my father a little along the way.

Today I wanted to continue with my observations of the experience we are all faced with at some point in our lives.

The passing of a family member or someone near and dear to us.

My first observation is there is definitely no ‘one size fits all’ when it comes to how we handle someone’s passing.

It really highlights the true uniqueness and differences in our life experience, compared to even our closest flesh and blood.

We all have different, and sometimes very different, lenses of perception.

We have different beliefs.

Different perspectives.

Different behaviours.

Different ways of expressing and processing our emotions.

Different past experiences (which shape how we view something new, but related).

On of the most important things we can bring to the grieving process, is a very clear acknowledgement that how I (as an individual) process my own experience, is likely to be VERY different from how someone else will deal with it.

Categories
Belief Choice consciousness Emotional Feeling Honesty Nutrition Perspective Stress

Are You Actually Looking at The Root Cause?

Again…Happy New Year!!

Let’s make this the year of living even more consciously, so the steps we take, and the footprints we leave, are in harmony with life, which also brings a lightness of being to our souls.

One way I think we can do a better job of being conscious, is not getting too distracted by surface level stuff, but curiously looking deeper for the actual root causes.

Hands up if you got ‘sick’ in, or around, the Xmas period or New Year?

This article is inspired by the first two clients I spoke to this year, who told me they were crook with the mighty “flu”.

The great thing about discovering the root cause, is we can then utilize the most effective intervention to get the best possible sustainable and long-term result.

So let’s look at potential root causes in relation to us getting crook.

Categories
Choice consciousness Emotional Feeling Growth Honesty Perspective Stress

Is Your Emotional Fuel Healing or Harming You?

Let’s get straight into this conversation, starting with some context.

Do all petrochemical fuels, derived from oil, burn the same? Do they all burn as cleanly as each other? Do some burn faster or slower? Do some produce more heat than others? Do some fuels leave a cloud of black (polluting) smoke in their wake?

Let’s acknowledge that not all fuels burn the same, even if they derive from the same source.

So today, we are going to talk about the FUEL of our emotions.

And this is inspired by a good mate of mine who I have known for decades, and has had recent heart surgery.

He has always been great in the fitness and nutrition department, but as I highlight in the subtitle of The Guidebook to Optimum Health, exercise and nutrition alone are not enough for optimum health.

Categories
Acceptance Choice Feeling Honesty Joy Relationship

My Bestest 4 Relationship Tips

carl ferry apple photoTIP 1: Probably not what you were expecting (sorry)

I may have mentioned to some of you in the past that I intended to write 5 books in 10 years, centred around the Guidebook Series. The planned number 4 book was going to be The Guidebook to Outstanding Relationships.

As with my other books, I spend time on the outline and principle teachings I want to infuse in the book. What I found in this process was that 75% of the book would actually be about working on yourself! Which I had already written about in my first three books.

It confirmed for me that if you want to be in a high-vibe, deep and meaningful relationship, the first and on-going part was to work on yourself – constantly.

Categories
Growth Honesty Life Lessons Overwhelm Perspective Success

A Strategy to Reduce Stress, Overwhelm and Crazy Person Syndrome

essentialThis article follows on somewhat from my last post where I talked about increasing productivity, creativity and effectiveness, but it is inspired by a book I recently finished reading called Essentialism by Greg McKeown.

If I was to choose to describe the way that I primarily live, my guiding philosophy, I would call myself a bit of a Stoic, and having read this book, I would say I am also a bit of an essentialist. There is actually a lot of overlap between stoicism and essentialism.

The motto of an essentialist philosophy is: LESS BUT BETTER

I am not sure about you, but I am liking the sound of that!

Who would like less commitments, responsibilities, projects or tasks on their plate?
I sure as hell have my hand up for that.

Let me explain a little bit more about what essentialism is, and then share some specific strategies.

Categories
Feeling Growth Honesty Relationship

The Challenge

lieTime is limited, so let’s get straight to it! This is the Challenge: I want you to become

THE MOST HONEST PERSON YOU KNOW.

 

WHY Number 1

Most of my clients come to me thinking they have a high level of integrity and honesty and tell me so. But then when I start asking them some tricky questions (which usually has them doing a bit of squiring) it becomes apparent that their 8/10 honesty might be closer to a 4 or 5 (or worse! ;-)).

The reason why is because very few people have the courage to say what they truly think and feel for fear of upsetting other people. Or worse, they know what they feel but they tell themselves that is not what the person in front of them needs to hear, so they choke it down. And in my experience, in 99% of cases, what needs to be said is the truth – what you are honesty feeling and thinking.