3 Essential Ways to Step into 2021 with More Ease & Grace

graceESSENTIAL WAY 1: Sorry in advance, but this might be uncomfortable

That title sounds like a line a doctor might use when you are in a compromising position on an examination table and they are adjusting the rubber glove on their right hand…

One of the things I have witnessed, doing this coaching and therapy thing for the last 13 years, is people’s avoidance for wading through crap. No surprises there.

The crap I am referring to in this case is the collection of stuff in our past that is stored in the quagmire pit of things that were not fun, comfortable, or pleasurable (and usually from our past).

Here is what I have also learned (and I am sure you have too).
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Leadership and the Most Difficult First Step on the Path to Self-Actualization

queenIf you have read my work before you might well have read my definition of what leadership is all about. It goes something like this: ‘A leader creates the environment that is conducive to the success of the team.

This applies to whether we are being a leader of ourselves or of others. And for the purposes of this conversation I am most interested in personal leadership. Leadership of self, and as it relates to the path to self-actualization, which according to maslow’s model is at the top if the pyramid.

My personal experience, observation and hypothesis is the singular hardest step to take on the self-actualization path, or what I also call the personal development or personal growth path, is…

Acceptance of personal responsibility.

When I was in my 20’s I used to believe I was ‘unlucky’ and that is why bad things happened to me. I used to think it was because of bad bosses, that I didn’t have a higher level of professional success. I used to blame my girlfriends personality on the relationships not working. I blamed people’s lack of attention to my needs for me having a skiing accident that required a knee reconstruction. Blame. Blame. Blame.

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It’s Time to CLEAN HOUSE

cleaningWho loves cleaning?
I imagine there are some of you out there joyfully waving your arms around in the air, and others of you who are thinking what a stupid question to ask. “Of course I don’t like cleaning!”

Me personally? I LOVE a good session of cleaning.
The joy of seeing something transformed from messy to organized, or from dirty to clean. It is a rather satisfying sensation if I do say so myself.

Do you know who else loves cleanliness and orderliness and simplicity?

Your BRAIN.
Especially when the external environment (outside your house) is a bit of a train wreck.
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My Approach to Adversity, Disruption and Change

lightI am writing this newsletter (and blog post) on 19 March 2020.
And the state of affairs near and far has changed a radical amount since my last newsletter one month ago due to the corona virus (pandemic).
So my first acknowledgment is the insanely quick rate at which major change can occur. And often with rapid change, there is a whole lot of uncertainty left in it’s wake. Where I imagine many people are right now.

Therefore in this article I thought I would just share some of my thoughts and suggestions around how we can best navigate our way through this experience and beyond.

I am actually finding it a little hard to write now, without coming across as an insensitive so-and-so. You see, I know I am going to die at some point. And I am actually ok with that. I also acknowledge we will all die at some time, and I am at peace with the thought of that as well. So with that inevitability, I am more interested in how I am living now, and how am I contributing to the well-being of the other people on this planet, plus how am I contributing to the planet and all its inhabitants as well.

So I am for LIFE and that is what I will be writing about today. How to experience more life in these times of uncertainty.

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A Strategy to Reduce Stress, Overwhelm and Crazy Person Syndrome

essentialThis article follows on somewhat from my last post where I talked about increasing productivity, creativity and effectiveness, but it is inspired by a book I recently finished reading called Essentialism by Greg McKeown.

If I was to choose to describe the way that I primarily live, my guiding philosophy, I would call myself a bit of a Stoic, and having read this book, I would say I am also a bit of an essentialist. There is actually a lot of overlap between stoicism and essentialism.

The motto of an essentialist philosophy is: LESS BUT BETTER

I am not sure about you, but I am liking the sound of that!

Who would like less commitments, responsibilities, projects or tasks on their plate?
I sure as hell have my hand up for that.

Let me explain a little bit more about what essentialism is, and then share some specific strategies.

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What If Caring Less Actually Gets You What You Want…

buddhaCaring.
It sounds so sweet.It sounds like something we ‘ought’ to do all of the time. Or at the least a lot of the time.

But is that really useful? Does being a really great carer lead to peace, joy, fulfillment, and a meaningful life experience?

Caring, like a lot of things, is great when it is done for the right situations, to the right amount, at the right time.

It has been my experience coaching 100’s of people over the last 12 years that people are a little bit crap at establishing when are the right times to care A LOT and when are the right times to give less of a damn.

So the lesson for today is about re-calibrating your caring muscles to bring you more ease, joy, and success.

Are you ready?

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The Big 5-0. 5 Things I Am More Clear About as A Result of Turning 50

50I recently had the joy of turning 50. For those of you that have not yet made it, you might find something of value in my musings and for those that have already stepped beyond their 50th birthday, maybe you will find something to reflect on here – or have the chance the relive that magical moment.

Do I feel different?
Nope.Do I think it is funny that I am now a 50 year old?
Absolutely!Do I think people will think I am wiser now I am 50?
I hope so (he he he).

Now enough of me asking and answering my silly questions, let’s get on with the 5 lessons that might actually be useful for YOU. Here goes!!

Changing Your Emotional State with the Triad (from Tony Robbins)

TonyRobbins_20130729.inddSince the Coaching Team is off to Singapore this month to see Tony Robbins – a leading success & performance coach from the USA – I thought it would be interesting to share one of his basic teachings on what it takes to change our emotional state (in the short term). This is a strategy to change your current emotional state, and what he calls his Triad.

He suggests that there are 3 things that we can address to change our emotional state:

  1. Change our PHYSIOLOGY
  2. Change our FOCUS
  3. Change our LANGUAGE

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The Lessons I Learned While Trekking in Amazing Nepal

nepalHave you ever trekked in Nepal?

If not, add it to your bucket list. It is amazing.This is the sort of stuff you are likely to see (Annapurna South). You will be humbled by its majesty and lit up with its feast of beauty. It also doubles as a great backdrop for a yoga class. ;-)Our trekking adventure consisted of a group of 8. Ranging in age from 37 to 66, and hailing from New Zealand, Australia, Indonesia and Luxembourg. A mixed bag of individuals that became the perfect fit for an adventure internally and externally.

It was an amazing experience and adventure and this is what I learned and would like to share with you…
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3 Life Tips That I Know Will Serve You Today

tipsHello again.

Did you know that I have been writing a newsletter and ‘Tips’ since 2005? That is a LOT of Tips and sometimes I get myself into a wee tail-spin trying to figure out the best way to serve you. I generally ask myself “What is the most relevant and impactful thing I can share with you today?” and then trust that the most useful stuff will bubble to the surface.

This is what bubbled up today…

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