Category: Life Lessons

A Simple Thing That Costs You (A Lot) of Energy and Creativity

Post author By cm_admin
Post date August 4, 2026
No Comments on A Simple Thing That Costs You (A Lot) of Energy and Creativity

One thing I think is very important in life is having loads of ENERGY.

I think we can all agree on that.

Which means, I am actively on the lookout for things that drain us of energy or cause us to have energy “leaks“.

Imagine if we start the day with 100% of energy credits.

But we “leak” 5% here.

And we “leak” 12% there.

Plus, we unknowingly “drain” 9% of energy in another place.

Essential that means – before we even get started in the day – we are only at 74% of our true energy potential.

So, it makes sense to plug leaks wherever we can.

The book I wrote called “18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be” is the perfect resource to identify where you might be leaking energy, spending too much energy, or getting a lower ROI from the energy you are spending.

In the book – which I wrote a couple of years ago – I did not include the energy leak we are focusing on today.

And as often happens, this leak was highlighted by a recent conversation with a Coaching client.

So this article is dedicated to JB.

Hopefully we can learn from their “mistakes”.

Here we go.

Belief consciousness Life Lessons Perspective

Texting, The Subconscious, And Relationship “Challenges”

Post author By cm_admin
Post date July 14, 2026

Today is a bit of a “Case Study”.

It’s based on a client who stayed in our Tiny House, who we got to know quite well.

Plus, due to my partner – Ferry – not being big on small talk and loving to get right into the juicy stuff…like “How are you actually doing with your relationships?”.

And for me, it was a chance to look at patterns (which is my jam).

We were asking questions of this person – who we will now refer to as “M” – about how their dating was going in Bali?

And I was most interested – as I am – to the psychology at play when it comes to interacting with others, and dating in general.

What was working and what was not?

And if something was not working; why not?

Keeping in mind there is so much subconscious stuff (which drives behaviour) than can trip us up – unknowingly – when it comes to interpersonal interactions.

What is grossly OBVIOUS to an outside observer, can be completely hidden to the individual experiencing it.

So, let me share with you how someone’s “texting speed” almost caused things to implode. (Which you might also be able to relate to).

Confidence Growth Life Lessons

What Is “Really” Holding You Back

Post author By cm_admin
Post date January 20, 2026

As you may, or may not know, I have been Coaching for over 18 years now.

When I have a new client contact me, I ask them to complete a (very) detailed questionnaire.

I question what events have shaped their current reality; what they do or don’t think they have control of; what they really want in life; and what they think may be holding them back.

It’s the last question I am most interested in today.

What people “believe” is holding them back, from greater happiness, joy, health, success, etc..

There is often a common theme.

And many people think if only they just worked harder on this one thing, or had more of this one thing in their bag of tricks, they would be way happier, successful and fulfilled.

In my experience, what people think is the major DIFFERENCE MAKER in success is the wrong thing.

Through no real fault of their own.

It is just what so many people have been led to believe.

Whether through bad advice from “experts” or marketing messages, or pure baloney peddled on their Instagram feed by “Influencers” (spinning worldly advice – with no context – in a about minute).

So, my theory is that many people (maybe most) are taught the wrong thing.

Let me explain.

Choice Life Lessons Perspective

Doing This Drains Your Energy and Equanimity

Post author By cm_admin
Post date December 2, 2025

Once a month I will record a short 3-5 min video with a practical Tip, Tool, or Strategy. Today is the first edition, and is one of the most important (and simple) STRATEGIES that I teach all my private Coaching clients. It will improve your decision-making “RESULTS” by about 200%!

Enjoy.

Choice Decision Making Growth Life Lessons

Making Assumptions About “Bad” Stuff

Post author By cm_admin
Post date October 21, 2025

I am almost 100% certain, that you, like me, have done this before.

And rather than me doing the big build up thing, let’s jump immediately into today’s topic.

But just to make sure of my “almost 100% certain” assumption, let me ask you this.

Have you EVER labelled an event – at the time – as “BAD”, only to find out at a future date that it was probably one of the best things to ever happen to you?

I am guessing you have.

We all have.

The next thing I am curious about is…

Exactly how many times do you think this has happened to you?

Once?

A few times?

Or if you really think about it…a LOT!

consciousness Decision Making Growth Life Lessons Overwhelm Perspective Stress Success

Mental Pushing And Pulling – Thanks To Our Biology

Post author By cm_admin
Post date May 17, 2024

Where to start?

How about with the name of the book I just finished reading, which shared pretty interesting insights. The book was called: ‘Why You’re Unhappy’ by Loretta Graziano Breuning, PhD.

I didn’t agree with everything she presented, but because she has a background in anthropology as well as psychology, it brought a nice perspective to her discussion on biology.

And the influence on our feelings and behaviours.

She spoke a lot about the individual roles of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, endorphins and cortisol; and how they are primarily used for survival (and reproduction of genes), as with all mammals.

I have talked before about the ‘mid’ brain, also called the limbic brain or mammalian brain.

It has a number of functions including regulation and generation of our emotions, which obviously affects us moment-to-moment and day-to-day.

I found a few things in this book especially fascinating.

Particularly the author’s overarching message.

We are not – biologically – designed to be ‘happy’ all the time.

It is not only okay, but “normal” to feel our emotions go up and go down throughout our day and life in general.

I think that is a great point.

If we EXPECT to be happy, all the time, or think there is something “wrong” with us if we aren’t, then we may be fighting reality.

What I also found fascinating was…

Acceptance Doubt Emotional Growth Life Lessons Meditation Perspective Stress

How is Your Patience Going? Want More?

Post author By cm_admin
Post date March 26, 2024

So…

How is your patience?

If you are anything like me, then at times it is crap.

I was just talking to my partner – Ferry – about ‘having patience’ the other night, as we transit between our farm and our ‘main’ house, waiting for the sale of our ‘main’ house, before we finish building our other ‘main’ house on our farm.

I don’t like mortgages, so I need to exercise the ‘patience’ to wait for the sale of our house, which is dragging on, and on and on…

So I have spent intimate time face-to-face with the thing called patience of late and I – as always – want to figure out how I can do it better.

At first I thought you can’t ‘force’ patience.

As in, you can’t DO stuff to make ‘more’ patience.

Because it is more about surrendering, letting go, and stepping back.

BUT…

Then I sat with and went deeper to understand patience from all angles and this is what I came up with.

Choice Life Lessons Perspective Problem Relationship Success

Don’t Do This, If You Want What You Want

Post author By cm_admin
Post date February 20, 2024

This article and insight is inspired by time spent in the kitchen the other day.

I was in the kitchen the other day with my partner Ferry (who happens to be an awesome cook).

She said something that got me thinking.

And brought us to today’s conversation.

A conversation which includes politicians, fraudsters, hypnotherapists and probably we could put a 4-year old into the mix as well.

The thing that happened with Ferry in the kitchen was this…

It was a very simple comment.

Ferry said: “Can you put some water into the kettle?” (I am pretty sure she did not say please).

As I went about this chore I am thinking exactly how much water is ‘some’?

“Some” is pretty non-descriptive.

It’s a pretty broad generalization.

Do I put in a teaspoon, a tablespoon, a half cup, a full cup, a couple of cups??

I have no clue.

consciousness Decision Making Life Lessons Overwhelm Perspective

How to Stay Up-to-date Globally Without Losing Your Mind

Post author By cm_admin
Post date January 23, 2024

The other day I was in conversation with friends, and we were talking about ‘world affairs’.

But the most interesting part of that conversation – for me – is how do we stay informed, without being consumed by a whole bunch of ‘bad news’?

And what do we mean being informed?

Is it informed for interest sake?

Is it informed, so we can make informed decisions in our own lives?

Is it informed so we can sound like we know what’s going on in the world to impress our friends?

And how informed do we need to be?

Lots of questions, and playing around in them can make your head spin.

So in this article I want to give you my thoughts and perspective on how to stay informed, to what level, and in a way that is beneficial for you and your lifestyle generation, plus in a way that you don’t lose your sanity, or sense of life being something precious.

Choice consciousness Decision Making Feeling Life Lessons Perspective

Tough Decisions, Complexity, Better Questions and Cute Dogs

Post author By cm_admin
Post date November 14, 2023

Yes; we will be discussing all of those topics.

As they weave together.

Regardless of whether you are a ‘dog person’ or not, I am sure you will get where I am coming from, and take something of value from this conversation.

Over the last bunch of weeks I have had some really tough decisions to make in relationship to dogs, which have not been easy.

Time to really practice what I teach.

All of which I have written about over this year and are in my latest book (18 Ways We Make Life Way Harder Than It Needs To Be) and YES, that is a ridiculously blatant plug for my new book, but I am okay with that as I know it will serve you well.

Now let’s jump straight into the life of Carl Massy story time…