THE MOST HONEST PERSON YOU KNOW.
WHY Number 1
Most of my clients come to me thinking they have a high level of integrity and honesty and tell me so. But then when I start asking them some tricky questions (which usually has them doing a bit of squiring) it becomes apparent that their 8/10 honesty might be closer to a 4 or 5 (or worse! ;-)).
The reason why is because very few people have the courage to say what they truly think and feel for fear of upsetting other people. Or worse, they know what they feel but they tell themselves that is not what the person in front of them needs to hear, so they choke it down. And in my experience, in 99% of cases, what needs to be said is the truth – what you are honesty feeling and thinking.
Sometimes, assuming we think we know what someone needs to hear (other than our truth) is the greatest disservice we can do someone.
My own business is based on me saying to my clients the things that no-one else says to them. Calling them out. They don’t need me to tell them what they think they might want to hear, they want me to be completely honest with them. And that is when the magic happens. That is when they get it. When they form a new story. And you all know what a new story means. It means a NEW LIFE!
WHY Number 2
When you are not honest with yourself, you set yourself up for a whole lot of pain. You set yourself up to not like a part of yourself. The part that is hiding, or playing small, or playing in fear.
Many people suppress the truth they feel within. They suppress the gut instincts, like those feelings that tell them to say ‘no’ or to walk away. My greatest disasters were because I was not honest with myself. My feelings (my inner truth) were telling me to walk away, but my head told me that the feelings were not true. I trusted my 45 year old beliefs & experience, over a few hundred million years of evolution, which were screaming at me to GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!!
I am curious. Have you ever done that yourself?
Know that when we do, we are not trusting ourselves. We are not being 100% honest with what we truly feel.
WHY Number 3
I worked with a client recently who had a very painful interpersonal incident occur last year, and was still carrying around the shame, pain and guilt months later. It was affecting her ability to move forward.
When I helped them get perspective on the incident, they realised that all along they were getting red flags to get out of the situation, or to tell this other person what they truly felt, but they held back on the truth, hoping things would work themselves out. Turns out they never did. Things had to ‘blow up’ to end the situation. They realised they had not been honest with themselves and the other person and why things got out of control. It made them feel terrible. There was an inner battle raging, because they were waring between their head and their truth.
This is what I have learned from my experience with myself and 100’s of others. Although the truth feels uncomfortable at the time (and sometimes intensely so), I believe that we can all look back on incidents in our lives and see where the truth (finally) lead to the best result, or the lack of truth lead to a mini asteroid strike.
The truth is on the path to growth, the next level, and more exciting adventures. 😉
WHY Number 4
It takes less force and is more connected to our inner power.
When you speak your truth to yourself and to others, there is less need for force. When you say: “This is how I feel” it is really hard for someone to honestly say “No you don’t”. They may try and convince you that is not how you feel to serve their best interests, but if that is what you feel, that is what you feel.
Now my caveat is we need to all work on increasing our understanding and connection with our feelings. For me feelings are a signal that some ACTION needs to take place. That might be a conversation with someone (or myself), it might mean stopping doing something, it might mean reevaluating, it might mean letting off steam, it might mean I need to do more work, changing my internal blueprint or beliefs, etc.
WHY Number 5
We spend 100% of our time with ourselves. That’s 100%.
So if you go around people-pleasing everyone else, telling them what you think they need to hear to help them feel a little better about themselves, but are not being honest with yourself, it might have a little impact on the other person, but it will have a cumulative impact on yourself.
Being honest with yourself is one of the best, and most life changing things we can do for ourselves (and surprisingly for others as well).
Don’t sacrifice your inner harmony to people-please. Get 100% honest and you might just be a people-server, which is SO much better. 😉
Are you convinced that the ‘truth will set you free’? So…here is your Challenge:
(by the end of 2015) Be (one of) the most honest person you know
Take baby steps.Start small and build on this. Catch yourself out when you were going to say, “Yeah, that is fine”, and say what you honestly feel. “I am not really comfortable with that”.
Here’s to being honest. And here’s to the GOODNESS it brings! 😉
You can do it. Try it out today…
Have a great day and see you next week! 😉
And please ask any questions you have. Plus I love hearing feedback from you on what resonated for you. Also do me and others a huge favour and pass them on. Knowledge used in the right way is definitely a way to access our incredible power. All the very best and take care.