This is a story about how I carried shame and humiliation with me for 28 years, and how that not only affected me in different situations, but held me back from my potential.
It is also a story about possibility. What is possible when we process limiting beliefs that are related to past trauma. We don’t just feel different, we become different. Different feelings = different results.
Are you ready to know stuff about me that I have barely told a soul? What follows is also a lesson in Vulnerability 101.
If you did not read last weeks newsletter, then Click Here as it will support your understanding of what follows.
A couple of reminders from last week for starters:
1. 98% of all the atoms in your body are replaced in a year.
2. Your thinking influences your biochemistry and the expression of genes.
A new you every year
We are made up of atoms. Millions are dying off in our bodies every day. Millions are being recreated every day. We are constantly renewing our bodies.
I spoke the other week in the Tips about a technique called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or ‘Tapping’.
It is an amazing tool for winding down the stress response (that fight or flight thing) and recalibrating our brains by letting it know that the thing we think is a threat does not need a full on physical response. That is, we do not actually need the body to get physically ready for fisticuffs with the boss (dilated pupils, blood thickening, turning off the immune system, blood to the major muscles, etc.), just because they changed the deadline on our project.
This is a need to know. It is what I mostly work on with clients. It is what shapes the results we get in life. It determines where we are, and where we are going. Whether we are winning or whether we are losing. Whether we are in pain or full of energy. Whether we uncover the best of us or whether we take it to the grave.
I am talking about our ‘stories’.
Also known as: beliefs, statements of ‘fact’, the ‘reality’, home truths, sayings, etc.
What they all have in common is this: they are not 100% true, 100% of the time (or anywhere near it). They are ‘true’ because we make them ‘true’. But they are not universal laws like gravity for instance. Which works in 100% of cases, 100% of the time, if you are heavier than air.
Our stories become our self-fulfilling prophecies.
I was doing a session this week with a client on the MindBody retreat and as we were spending time delving into attachment, vulnerability, basic human needs, and a bunch of other topics; it became very clear to me that projecting an image of what you want others to think of you is not only energy consuming, but it erodes your authenticity and therefore LIKEABILITY. Not so cool…
Have you ever had (or still have) a Facebook ‘friend’ who always posts about how fabulous their life is? How fabulous their relationship is. How fabulous their holidays are. How happy they are (all the time). And even how great their pets, children, job, etc., etc., etc. are.
What are your real thoughts when you read their stuff? Not the stuff you ‘like’ or the comments you post on Facebook; but what you really think.
Have you ever stopped to think whether the guilt you have felt, or do feel, serves you?
And did you know that in the Tibetan language there is no word for ‘guilty’. Apparently the closest translation is “intelligent regret that decides to do things differently”. Guilt has come up a lot with a client I am working with at the moment and so I wanted to share with you what I have learned and what I am teaching them.
What is guilt and where does it come from?
As I pondered this I came up with two different themes.
1. The guilt that someone directs at us
2. The guilt we direct at ourselves
The last couple of weeks I have had a number of people say, I would love to do Coaching with you or your course is just what I have been looking for, but I am not in a financial position to do so. So I figured it would be good for them and good for me, if I helped with some specific strategies on how to attract more money into their lives.
I think I can make this statement and feel pretty confident it applies to 95% of the population. We all have some pretty atrocious beliefs when it comes to money. Some people are even brought to tears when you just mention the ‘money’ word. We definitely need to change that.
When I started poking around at my own beliefs as part of my R&D (Research and Development) into creating my money making program, I came up with some doozies for myself. One of my worst was…
“I don’t need much.” Continue reading
Last week on the course we got into a lot of energy work, hypnosis, some funky NLP stuff, language patterns and the understanding that what we identify with, has a HUGE effect on the results we get in all areas of our life.
Two seemingly harmless words
One of the shortest words in the English language is ‘I’ but it is also one of the most impacting words for each of us. It is essentially the centre of our universe. So ‘I’ is actually pretty big.
The other word that looks pretty small and harmless is ‘am’. Again it is only two letter, but boy it can pack a punch.
But when you put the two little words together – I AM – you are creating one of the most powerful beliefs we have. You actually are creating your identity and the results you are likely to get in life. Continue reading