Get ready, because I am going to plug my new book – Decision Making Mastery: Become a Skillful and Conscious Co-Creator in Your Destiny – in the very first part of this blog post. Check it out. Okay. Done.
Now to share with you one of the elements I talk about in my book, that I think is really important for us to acknowledge, understand and practice in our own lives. And yes, you already know what it is. It is about changing your mind.
At the time of writing this, I have been doing this thing called ‘coaching’ for over 13 years now. I have worked with 100’s of people from all walks of life. I have observed them make lots of great decisions, and I have observed them make some terrible decisions (myself included).
What I have come to know as a ‘fact’ is we all make bad decisions.
I have also observed that most people are doing the best they can with the skills they have, and to the best of their current abilities (which I hoping to increase with my new book…did I tell you about it already?).
Regardless of whether it is a skill gap, poor information, too many assumptions, a poor state of mind at the time of the decision making process, or making a choice that is out of alignment with your core values, in the end we all make choices that might have seemed like the best at the time, but on further reflection turn out to be really bad.
Then of course there are those decisions we make where we know before, during and after making them, that they are going to bring us a bucket full of tears – ours and others.
What to do?
Why the simple thing is not so simple
The simple thing is to change your mind.
Acknowledge you made a poor choice, or had incomplete or incorrect facts, or got out of bed on the wrong side that day, or knew you were making a bad decision, but made it anyway.
If it is that simple, why don’t most people, just own up to their mistake, and make a new decision?
One word: EGO.
Most people will avoid admitting they made a bad decision or mistake. They often would rather stay in the middle of a really bad decision for YEARS rather than admit that they screwed up.
That word again: EGO.
Most people would rather stay in the middle of a poor choice, than experience this thing called EMBARRASSMENT. Also known as the perceived ‘threat’ to our closely held identity of self.
They are so protective of their perception of what they think other people will think of their changing their minds; that they stay in a crappy situation.
This really needs to stop.
It is OKAY for you to make a mistake.
It is OKAY to admit to this mistake.
It is OKAY to change your mind.
(In fact it is madness not to change your mind if new or more relevant information becomes available).
My recommendations are based on 51 years on that planet, plus spending a year writing about and exploring the topic of decision-making in depth.
Make a conscious effort to increase the quality of the decisions you make (make the commitment to up-skill your decision-making capabilities).
Acknowledge that things do and will change. The universe and everything in it, is constantly changing. The cells in your body are constantly changing. Change is elemental to life.
If circumstances change (from what they were when you made a decision) or new information is made available, then revisit the decision you made and be prepared to change it.
Do the inner and evolutionary work, of practicing non-attachment to what other people think. Don’t let your perceptions of what people will think of you be a part of the process. It is irrelevant, plus you are probably wrong 95% of the time about what you think other people will think about you changing your mind).
IT IS OKAY (AND INTELLIGENT) TO CHANGE YOUR MIND.
I suspect there has never been another time in history where so many established facts, systems, institutions, and societal beliefs have been, and are being, challenged.
For all of us many of our long-held beliefs are being challenged. Beliefs that we may or may not have spent appropriate time or energy analyzing for their validity, applicability and relevance.
It is a crazy wild ride, where points of view between people and the full spectrum of ‘experts’ can vary by 180 degrees.
My advice is to be open to hearing new points of view. Be open to changing your mind about some of your beliefs. Be very discerning. Tap into your intuition. Use a high level of critical thinking.
I have been studying, researching, and writing about our ‘beliefs’ for close to 15 years now, and one thing I am 100% certain of. We have all picked up beliefs that are just not true, or don’t serve us in a positive way.
So be (very) open to changing your beliefs. Because in the majority of cases, our beliefs are not ‘universal laws’, but are the highest level of understanding and interpretation we have established to date.
My Final Words
Don’t let fear of embarrassment stop you from changing your mind.
In an ever changing universe, to not change your mind over time, is a little bit on the insane side of things.
Keep learning, growing and evolving.
Wishing you a wonderful day.
Take care and much love,
PS: Do check out Decision Making Mastery (since choices shape your destiny), which I will make available on Kindle for a bunch of weeks at only $0.99, and the paperback version will be available in a matter of days. WOOHOO!!!