I am not sure of where you are at when it comes to roller coasters.
Occasionally, they can be fun.
Like once or twice a year (for me), but definitely not weekly.
Pass.
So I would like to (strongly) recommend you don’t make a habit of this.
Unless of course you love roller coasters, and especially the emotional kind…
I am once again perched on a table at my mum and dad’s place, drinking tea, and reflecting on what I have learned over this last couple of weeks.
For those that did not read my last newsletter article, I spoke about the passing of my father and all of the wonderful lessons he taught me over my life. Thank you for joining me, and getting to know my father a little along the way.
Today I wanted to continue with my observations of the experience we are all faced with at some point in our lives.
The passing of a family member or someone near and dear to us.
My first observation is there is definitely no ‘one size fits all’ when it comes to how we handle someone’s passing.
It really highlights the true uniqueness and differences in our life experience, compared to even our closest flesh and blood.
We all have different, and sometimes very different, lenses of perception.
We have different beliefs.
Different perspectives.
Different behaviours.
Different ways of expressing and processing our emotions.
Different past experiences (which shape how we view something new, but related).
On of the most important things we can bring to the grieving process, is a very clear acknowledgement that how I (as an individual) process my own experience, is likely to be VERY different from how someone else will deal with it.
I am back in Queensland (Australia) as I write this.
Sitting at a table out the back of mum and dad’s place, drinking a cup of tea, and reflecting on my dad and all the things he taught me.
Dad passed away peacefully in a beautiful palliative care hospital a little over a week ago, with family at his side, after having been ill for the last 6-months.
My life (particularly over the last 20 years) has been one of curiosity and deep observation of my relationship with life, so I might learn and grow, and share my lessons along the way.
As I reflect on my dad, I realise a lot of what makes me ‘me’, were great lessons passed on from my dad.
And although dad was a school teacher throughout his working life, it wasn’t through teaching verbally that I learned most from him. It was how he acted, behaved and showed up in life, where I learned my greatest lessons from dad.
I realised too, as I write this, that he not only ‘taught’ me a lot of life skills, but he taught and influenced 1000’s of teenagers (he was a high school manual arts teacher) over the 35 or so years he was teaching.
Nice one dad!
So let me share with you, what I feel are his greatest gifts and have most influenced the building of my character.
And before I get into my ‘list’, I was chuckling to myself, that dad never drank, smoked or swore, and on this one I might have gone a slightly different direction, and have the bumps and bruises to show for it. I never got into smoking, but I am not sure I can say the same for the other two.
Would you like to achieve or do some big things with your life?
Have you got some big things in mind that you would love to bring into fruition?
One of my colleagues has a great shirt, which says “Dream Big Baby!!”.
I love the idea.
However, as a realistic optimist, strategist and student of human performance, I realise there are some key things that need taking care of; in order to set up the environment for successful BIG dreams to come into fruition.
This is the topic of today’s conversation.
In the coaching space, I teach to achieve big things, there are some 4 pieces needed:
Today I want to focus on number 4, and also peel it back to its absolute basics.
Do you want to be happy?
Or happier?
I am pretty sure – about 99.999% – that your response to those questions is a resounding “OF COURSE!”.
So today we are going to talk about one thing not to do if you want to have a happy life existence.
It’s a pretty simple concept (like most things I teach), but it has major ramifications.
The image that comes to mind when I think about this topic is a wheelbarrow I was using the other day, while hauling bricks.
The wheel was a little wobbly (out of alignment) and it was WAY HARD to keep things moving in the direction of the drop-off point.
At one point the wheelbarrow veered off to the side and I lost the load (and nearly tore a muscle or three); so I had to start again from scratch.
TOO much effort required.
So what was the solution?
Simple.
The wheelbarrow needed the nuts on the axle tightened, so the wheel would come back into alignment and perform the role it was designed for.
Moving smoothly, in a straight line.
When things are out of alignment, life gets tougher.
A SIMPLE HEALTH FIX TO INCREASE YOUR HEALTH AND VITALITY
I suspect you know this already (to an extent).
But the reality is that the majority of people on the planet are really bad at doing this thing.
So I am here to remind you.
And to remind you that there are significant downsides – health wise – when you skip this.
What I am talking about DRINKING AN ADEQUATE QUANTITY OF WATER EVERY DAY.
And no I am not talking about coffee, tea, soda’s, fruit drinks, or the likes.
It might come as a surprise to you, but your blood is not made of coffee, beer or Coca-cola.
I decided to send this important reminder to you today, as I was recently reading a book called ‘Your Bodies Many Cries For Water‘ by Dr. F. Batmanghelidj.
I am a HUGE fan of what I call “GETAWAYS“.
I just came back from one last week.
And I attribute them to being a major part of my mental health regime, my physical health regime, and from a business perspective they are creativity on steroids.
I reckon that my creativity, productivity and sheer volume of really powerful ideas for life and business are multiplied by a factor of at least 10!
A well organised and intentional GETAWAY is like a Quantum Leaping event.
They are raw POWER as opposed to sweaty and messy FORCE.
In your tool-bag of ‘Tips to help you flourish in life’, GETAWAYS are right up there.
Convinced yet?
I hope you are well on your way, BUT HERE IS THE THING…
The GETAWAYS I am talking about are not about sipping martini’s on the beach.
Those might be relaxing (until the dehydration sets in), but they have nothing on what I am talking about.
I am talking about a GETAWAY back to SELF.
Something else entirely.
(The martini’s on the beach are actually numbing yourself to feeling self; so they are very different).
The GETAWAYS I am talking about are evolutionary.
Now are you convinced?
There has been a common necessity with my coaching clients over the last few years.
And obviously, the last few years have been among our most disruptive ever.
Regardless of your beliefs or perspective, life has been a little bit wonky.
As a result there are some personal fundamentals that need some work.
And since I am in the process of building a house and farm in Bali, I am inspired by the building process.
Something every builder knows.
It is essentially this:
If you screw up the foundation, it can extremely costly and with a high level of uncertainty.
You might even need to demolish everything and start from scratch.
How does this analogy relate?
It is SOOOOO important, it ought to be a school subject.
“How to build a solid foundation in your life”.
Let’s see what this practically means.
Recently I was called (by my muse) to write on the subject of AI.
It is a pretty topical subject at present and there are lots of differing conversations around AI.
A lot of that is speculation on what it will, or won’t, become in the future.
What I wanted to focus on is our relationship with it, in a way that allows for the most magnificent evolution of our human selves, and also what it might mean in day-to-day life.
My role, as always, is to support people (you) and humanity to evolve into their greatest expression.
Plus get the most joy out of life.
And not make life harder than it needs to be.
I am also about long-term growth as opposed to instant gratification.
So with a few of those things in mind, let’s have a look at some of the challenges with the adoption and integration with AI, so we can make the most informed decisions when it comes to how we might best use it.
This conversation follows on from last week, where I spoke about emotional ‘Junk in the Trunk’.
And it ties in with my full-time health immersion, journey and obsession for the last couple of decades.
One of the things I have learned over time is it is very hard to separate the body, mind, emotions, and even the spiritual element of ourselves into little neat separate boxes.
They are all inter-related.
There is overlap.
You can’t have a toxic relationship for several months or years and not have health issues.
Be they mental or physical – which again are inter-related.
The mind and the body are part of the same whole.
So when it comes to working on symptoms expressed in the physical body, don’t imagine the mind doesn’t play a role in this, and predominant emotional states are not a factor.
Cancer is definitely not a fun subject to talk about.
And I did balk at my own thought to write this article.
But hey, I am here to offer support in any way I can, so let me share with you my perspective on the treatment and healing of cancer.