I am not sure of where you are at when it comes to roller coasters.
Occasionally, they can be fun.
Like once or twice a year (for me), but definitely not weekly.
So I would like to (strongly) recommend you don’t make a habit of this.
Unless of course you love roller coasters, and especially the emotional kind…
What are you anchoring your emotions to?
I think the metaphor of an anchor is a good one.
An anchor is heavy and hard to move once it is set.
So you want to make sure your anchor is attached in the right place otherwise it might mean disaster for your metaphorical boat (you, in this case).
I remember us a younger (less wise) person having a speedboat that I anchored in the wrong spot, so instead of the boat being safely protected, it got submerged and swamped when the tide rose. Stupid! But, live and learn.
Point 1. Anchor your stuff to the right thing.
The actual catalyst for today’s tip is because I have a couple of dear people in my life who have a really bad habit of anchoring their emotional state to a thing they have ZERO control over.
And when I say ZERO; I mean ZERO.
Not even 0.0000000000000001% control.
None. Nada. Zip.
You might even know a few people (hopefully not yourself who do the same thing.
My dear people anchor their emotional state to the “weather”.
That is, their emotional state is heavily influenced to what the weather chooses to do, on any given day.
They are sad (or even angry) if it rains.
They are likely to be sad even when it is grey, and definitely angry when it gets to Day 2 of rain.
Their emotions are tied to something they can’t control so they are happy when it is sunny, sad when it is grey, maybe enthused when it is cold and downright angry when it is raining.
A much better strategy, and one I adopt, is I accept and actually appreciate whatever the weather chooses to do.
Hot. Cold. Wet. Really wet. Humid. Brisk. Windy. Still. Snowy. Freezing cold.
Some I might like better than others, but I certainly don’t get that bothered by any.
And if there is a flavour that doesn’t feel right for the day I have planned, it just means I need to get more CREATIVE in how to circumvent it.
A side note on the condition called SAD (seasonal affective disorder)
If you are not getting enough sunshine, where you reside, here are a few practical suggestions:
- Take good quality Vitamin D supplements.
- Move geographical locations if possible (Bali works for me).
- Spend the grey season in somewhere less grey (work remotely if possible).
- Listen to music which has a summer feel to it.
- Plan a holiday to a sunny place for as long as you can afford.
- Put ‘sunny’ pictures around the house.
- Do meditations where you imagine yourself being bathed in sunshine (the brain does not know the difference between something real or vividly imagined).
My main point, and takeaway
Don’t anchor your emotions to something you cannot control (e.g. the weather).
Next time you feel in a negative emotional state, get really curious and see if you are anchoring your emotional state and reaction, to something that you cannot control.
If you are; see if you can reframe it, mitigate it, circumvent it, avoid it, or transcend it.
My Parting words
I think most people know the basics of the ‘Serenity Prayer’.
Here is a reminder of the my favourite part:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Stay curious about where, when and how you are placing your anchors.
Especially when it comes to emotions.
Don’t anchor them to things you can’t control and especially people you can’t control (which is pretty much everyone).
Let your emotional states be generated from the inside out.
That way you have full control of which ones to choose.
Easier said than done.
But not impossible to do, even for the majority of the time.
You’ve got this.
Have a happiness from the inside out day and a sunny-hearted kinda week.
See you next week.