Who wants to talk about pain? Not really a subject we gravitate towards.But what if it could be our health and happiness golden ticket?
What if it could be converted into the rocket fuel that leads to your evolution and a fuller expression of your potentiality? I know it is possible. I have experienced it time and again.
But here is the problem…
When it comes to pain, there are three general choices:
1. Numb or suppress it with pharmaceuticals (or other less legal drugs)
2. Ignore it by distraction (eating, TV, surfing the internet, etc.)
3. Learn from it
Which options do you think most people choose (which applies to us too on a number of occasions)??
Probably not number 3 … damn it!!
Knowledge is power
I am going to share with you the knowledge I have built over the last 15 years in particular.
Pain – be it physical or emotional (and often a combo of both) – is a signal from the body and/or mind that something is not right. That something needs to be done. This is when we have the opportunity to choose 1, 2, or 3.
Without getting too trippy on you – pain allows us a dialogue with the subconscious part of our brains.
One of my favourite teachers and therapists, Dr Darren Weissman, says if we did not consciously choose to experience the physical or emotional pain, then there is something going on at a subconscious level.
Our pain provides an opportunity to gain knowledge on what might need to be done.
Now my caveat is that extreme levels of pain require the unpacking of many more layers, and a lot more intervention, but also within them, is an opportunity to gain knowledge.
Pumping iron
Here is a fact. My muscles will not get bigger unless I press or pull against a resistance. Often a big heavy one. Something we all know can be pretty PAINful. And it can remain painful for days after – but this is the body evolving. Like that old saying, “No Pain. No Gain.” Or no resistance, no growth.
The same applies mentally and emotionally. We need to feel discomfort (aka pain) in order for us to grow. Pain is part of the growth, change and evolution process. You want to be a better you? Get ready for some serious ‘discomfort’ then. Embrace it! Just like in the gym when you are pumping iron.
A powerful question = a powerful answer
So instead of numbing or ignoring, when we experience pain, we have the opportunity to ask, “So what do I need to do? What is my (highly intelligent body and brain) telling me? What do I need to address? What do I need to change? What might be the root cause of this pain? What might be under this pain? What habits do I need to replace? What different choices do I need to make?”
This dialogue needs to happen to learn. The pain might be telling you any one of these things:
– you need to detoxify your environment
– you need to address your relationship
– you need to change some of your beliefs
– you need to get help processing some past trauma
– you need to change your thinking patterns
– you need to change your attention
– you need to move your body more
– you need to change jobs
– you need to learn how to process your emotions
Imagine the life changing opportunities if you applied this knowledge! But if you suppress the dialogue before it starts – or never have it – you don’t have the chance to evolve. There is very little pain that people experience which just shows up unexpected one day. I recently read that most cancer takes about 12 years to show up before it is detectable and a major problem.Note: I got all of the things on the list from that book I mentioned I recently published. 😉
Rocket Fuel
The other great thing with pain is you can use it as rocket fuel. Especially the emotional pain. There are lots of highly successful people where they are today because they used pain to propel them. Some of them in order to avoid the pain of their childhood poverty some decided they had to do whatever they needed to do to make sure they didn’t experience that pain again. They used the avoidance of pain, to fuel their motivation.
I recently had a client who packed on 10kg in about 12 weeks, doing work they really don’t enjoy. I told them to take a picture of themselves now, so they could be reminded of what happens when they let themselves go, or do work that sucks the life out of them. So when their willpower is a little low, they can use the picture of themselves looking haggard to give them the rocket fuel to push those donuts away and reach a little further for that shiny apple. Well done!
Pain can be used as fuel to initiate change. To break your inertia and make radical life changes.
I had a teacher one time who was a packet of cigarettes a day man, who tried and failed to give up on numerous occasions. But when his smoking buddy died of cancer, he used the pain of that to give up smoking in a heart beat.
The final word
We ALL experience pain. But it is what we do with it that counts.
If we learn and then apply that knowledge, we rewire our brains and change our lives. We can outgrow most pain and my personal belief is it can be our greatest teacher and leg up to the next higher version of ourselves (or we can numb ourselves out and go backwards).
What do you do when you experience pain? Do you choose option 1, 2, or 3?
Your Help Is Required:
I am curious to know what ‘pain’ you might be experiencing at the moment. If you are up for it, just reply to this email and let me know. It will be confidential of course. What I would like to do is find specific cases so I can write possible solutions for them in a future newsletter (omitting any names). Plus I would like to understand how I can serve you even better.
As always, you know the dealio. If you want a hand (or some perspective), you know how to get in touch with me. If you have any comments or insights you would like to share, head over to the Blog, or jump on my Facebook page to continue the dialogue (and pick my mind). Also check out The Happiness Class on iTunes for some FREE weekly Coaching.