This is a need to know. It is what I mostly work on with clients. It is what shapes the results we get in life. It determines where we are, and where we are going. Whether we are winning or whether we are losing. Whether we are in pain or full of energy. Whether we uncover the best of us or whether we take it to the grave.
I am talking about our ‘stories’.
Also known as: beliefs, statements of ‘fact’, the ‘reality’, home truths, sayings, etc.
What they all have in common is this: they are not 100% true, 100% of the time (or anywhere near it). They are ‘true’ because we make them ‘true’. But they are not universal laws like gravity for instance. Which works in 100% of cases, 100% of the time, if you are heavier than air.
Our stories become our self-fulfilling prophecies.
Example number 1
Imagine you tell yourself regularly: “I don’t know what I want to do with my life.”
Do you think your amazing brain – which has more neural connections than stars in the universe – is going to spend any time looking for an answer.
Because, after all, you have already made the (false) decision that you already know the answer. The answer being, “I don’t know.”
SLAM!!!!! You just closed the door on possibility.
The biggest mistake
The biggest mistake I find with clients is they frequently slam the door on possibility. They speak in ‘absolutes’, as if what their saying is chiseled in stone. They stop their minds seeing another possibility, because they have already decided they can’t, or its not possible, or it will never work for them, or there is no way to make this work. I love proving them wrong – and changing their lives.
The STORY limits their results, not their abilities.
The TRUTH is you are much more powerful than you can imagine. You have potential well beyond what you have ever shown up with.
But you are only as big as your stories allow you to be.
You have probably heard this before
You are not your thoughts.
Have you heard that before? Have you blown it off as some new-age BS or really thought about it?
Here is the research. We have about 60,000 thoughts a day. The majority of them are the same thoughts as yesterday (and the many yesterdays before that). And do you think of all those thoughts, that they apply for you, and for this day. Are they 100% true, for you, and for today? Are they true for a day, that is yet to be written?
So here is the thing. Challenge your thoughts and thinking like they are gibberish coming from some crazy man or woman on the side of a medieval road. Occasionally there is a moment of clarity and profound brilliance, but most of the time they are talking tongues and gibberish.
Become a story teller
The way to change your life and results is this:
1. Don’t believe or buy into the old story (that means anything prior to this moment).
2. Write a new story.
3. Start living and believing the new story.
Here are some examples from recent sessions:
Old Story (OS): I don’t know what I want.
New Story (NS): I am still exploring what I want to do with this precious life of mine.
OS: I have to stay in this job I hate, because blah, blah, blah. 😉
NS: Maybe if I reduce my hours in this job it will free up time to do some external study, so I become more attractive to an employee in the field I really want to work in.
OS: If I don’t save up $X by the time I am 60 I am screwed.
NS: Maybe if I find something I love to do, I don’t have to worry so much about this ‘retirement’ thing, and I will keep my mind active till my last breath.
OS: I can’t achieve this at my age.
NS: Because of the skills I have amassed and my desire to constantly learn and grow, it is possible I could do that.
Note what is common in the old story: the shutters are pulled down on possibility.
Note what is common in the new story: the light of possibility shines in.
Your beautiful brain
Like I said. Your brain is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!!!
If you close the shutters on possibility you turn of one of your most powerful tools – your brain. It stops you from CREATING new solutions. This is why our brains are so wonderful. We have this thing called consciousness (our mind) which allows us to create something from nothing. We can create a vision and then work towards taking that vision from energy to matter. From a thought to a physical reality.
This is what happens when we CREATE a NEW STORY. We are creating a new future possibility.
If we stick to the OLD STORY we get the old results. We are actually stuck in the past.
You are capable of so much more. All you need to do is:
1. Challenge your thoughts, beliefs, statements, and stories.
2. CREATE a new story that is all about POSSIBILITY.
When you get stuck in creating your own story ask yourself this magical question: IS IT POSSIBLE?
If a single human being on the planet has done it before then it IS possible. And if not, why can’t you be the first? Why not be you?
My request of you
For the rest of the week step back and observe your stories. Challenge the sh*t out of them. Get ruthless. Get brutal. Take the wooden spoon to them (or baseball bat). But see them for what they are. Stories. Ask if another reality or result is ‘possible’. Do you just lack the knowledge or experience to know a different way? Then seek that knowledge or experience. Do you have a high enough perspective? Then get out of the weeds. Do you need to change your perspective? Then ask a different question or get another persons perspective.
Belief (STORY) leads to feelings, leads to behaviour, leads to RESULTS.
Change your STORY and you change your RESULTS.
As always, you know the dealio. If you want a hand (or that perspective), you know how to get in touch with me. If you have any comments or insights you would like to share, head over to the Blog, or jump on my Facebook page to continue the dialogue (and pick my mind). Also check out The Happiness Class on iTunes for some FREE weekly Coaching. And please share this newsletter with friends and family.