The first thing with change or transformation is to first acknowledge that to do so, it is very likely, it may be HARD.
But here is the thing.
We don’t want to make it HARDER than it needs to be.
That doesn’t make sense, and who wants to tick that box?
Not me, and probably not you either.
So let’s agree that change, especially of the big kind, is likely to be HARD; but let’s see how to make sure isn’t HARDER than it needs to be.
First, let’s look at why change is pretty damn hard, a lot of the time.
Why is change so hard?
There can be a number of basic reasons why change is hard; like stepping into the unknown, trying something you have no former experience in, or choosing the wrong or ineffective strategy.
From a practical perspective, it is harder to change the direction of a moving object, the closer the change is to 90 degrees. Anything less than a 90 degree turn could be considered an adjustment, in our forward trajectory. But once you get to 90 degrees (and beyond) you have to use a whole new level of force and energy to change directions.
And when we talk about making a 180 degree turn, we are talking about stopping the forward momentum to zero. Then breaking out of inertia and finally building the momentum back up again. This ‘changing directions completely‘ (physically or metaphorically) requires a large amount of energy.
In essence, the greater the degree of change, and especially one in a completely opposite direction (180 degrees) the more energy it will take to initiate. Think going with the flow in a creek, versus deciding now is the time (for very good reasons) to swim against it (180 degrees).
But I do believe there are ways to make hard less hard, and not any harder than it needs to be.
This other factor is we don’t want to shy away from change, just because it is hard.
For instance, a lot of us, if we want to change a specific behavioural pattern within ourselves, to become something new and greater, we might be swimming against a current that has been established and built up over years and decades.
This also means pruning highly establish neural patterns and networks within our brains.
I think creating change in the physical world is hard; but in my experience, changing something in the inner world is much harder because you are generally working with the unseen and intangible.
However, most of the truly life changing, heart-opening and redefining things in life, are a result of the change that happens internally.
And that is where we will focus the last part of this conversation.
Changing ourselves, or like Dr Joe Dispenza says: Breaking the habit of being yourself.
Working on change at a personal and intimate level
The inspiration for this article is the result of a conversation I had with a client who is working with me for 3-months, and we are a few weeks in. They said (after being at it for 3-weeks): “Trying to change is REALLY hard.”
To which I agreed: “Yep.”
If we want a significantly new or different result in our life – e.g. new genetic destiny, new relationship, new or different professional path, new sense of peace, etc. – we essentially need to become the person who is aligned with, plus can create and sustain, that new result.
We don’t want temporary change.
We want significant and lasting change, and that is where the hard work comes in.
Because to do that (and sustain it) we need to change how we think, feel and behave. We need to essentially change parts or all of our personality, in order to get a new or significantly difference outcome.
As I said earlier, this might includes undoing years and decades of habitual ways of thinking (e.g. I am not smart enough), habitual ways of feeling (e.g. anxious, fearful, angry, etc.), and habitual ways of behaving (e.g. re-actively judging, or eating crappy food, or being inactive, or people pleasing, etc.).
I realise there is a LOT to unpack on the topic of changing from the inside out, but to keep it shorter, I will focus on some essentials.
Tips and essentials to make change LESS hard
Here is a short list of things that might work or resonate for you, and feel free to reach out to me separately if you want to go deeper on any of them (I also encourage you to read Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself by Dispenza, or you can even find the audiobook version on YouTube).
The very FIRST thing is to acknowledge significant change is hard, so learning new strategies is beneficial.
Get very clear about the outcome you want to achieve.
Establish your WHY and connect to it regularly.
Do an audit of the resources you have available to see what else you need.
Establish if you have a skill gap, and work on how to close that gap or learn that new skill.
Get help from someone who specializes in general change (or transformation), or someone who has gone through the specific change you are interested in experiencing.
Find a change buddy who will help with accountability and sharing wins and set-backs.
Get strategic. E.g. If I want to make a 90 degree change of direction in my car, it is easier to slow down and make a curvaceous turn, as opposed to making an acute 90 degree left turn at speed.
Actively create your ideal environment so it is set-up to support the change you desire.
Establish your dream team and support crew to let you know when you are off the path, and to help you get going again.
Possibly ditch some people who don’t want you to change (for their own reasons).
Establish and build aligned habits, which support the change process and outcome (habits = less energy required for your brain).
Check in on your progress regularly – like my weekly meeting with Me Inc..
Be kind to yourself when you go off course.
Consistency is the key to installing new ways of thinking, feeling and behaving.
Stay conscious in the process of change (and do consciousness-building practices).
Be open to receiving divine intervention (in the form of support, course corrections, or wake-up calls) along the way. I also, directly ask for help.
Maintain a sense of humour.
Do the inner work to change your limiting or disempowering beliefs.
There are likely to be other things specific to you, but that is a pretty good general list.
It might help you wind down the HARD dial to 7/10 (from a 9.9/10).
Significant change is hard.
In order to create something NEW, you are most likely going to have to change your thinking, your emotional states and your behaviours (or ineffective habits).
Prior preparation and planning, makes the change process more effective, and less challenging.
When you change internally, it changes everything in the universe around you (as it changes your lens of perception and the meaning you give things), so it is worth the effort.
Read Joe Dispenza’s book.
My parting words
Change is a constant.
Don’t fight it, and consciously choose the change you want to experience.
I also believe that a personality, crafted over 50-years, can still be changed.
It’s never too late.
Too late only occurs the moment after our last breath.
What do you need to change????
Let the change party begin!
Have a super day, and this week consider what changes you would like to make in your life and take a step in that new direction.