Acceptance Choice consciousness Growth Life Lessons Negative Emotions Problem Relationship

How to Turn Negative Events (& People) into a Positive


Lately I have been going even deeper into the practical work of Dr Joe Dispenza (teacher, neuroscientist, author and he who is challenging what is ‘normal’).

I am watching testimonials, listening to Q&A sessions, doing more meditations, and re-reading his books (e.g. Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself).

One of his testimonials is of a woman healing herself from the multiple sclerosis (MS). Pretty epic. Plus a guy got feeling back into his fingers after 48 years. The list goes on, and on…(there are over 600 testimonials).

One of Dr Joe’s quotes is:

“The past without the emotion is (potential) wisdom.”

I added the ‘potential’ word as I feel that having wisdom is different from the right application of wisdom. It takes consciousness to make potential wisdom into REAL WORLD wisdom that leads to a positive outcome.

So with Dr Joe as our inspiration and frame of reference, I want to look at how we can change our past NEGATIVE stuff (and the emotions that come with it), into WISDOM. Plus fuel for our EVOLUTION.

Getting over hating someone

First let’s break that word down.

I used to call my first long-term ex-girlfriend the ‘psycho bitch from hell.’

If that thought had stopped there, after it came to mind, I would have been fine.

But the thought and repetitive thinking about the thought did not stop there. Damn it!!!

When I brought her to mind, I actually started experiencing even more negative thoughts, leading to feeling overwhelming negative emotions, and quite quickly I would be spiraling down into quite a dark space.

Coupled with the thought and emotions, we also end up experiencing physical symptoms like headaches, stomach cramps, heartburn, indigestion, anxiety, depression, etc. Not fun.

Here’s the million-dollar question:

If I had a choice of wisdom or health issues, which would I choose?

This was an easy choice for me.

Want to know what I did?

Changing a past experience or memory into wisdom (Step 1)

Step 1 is working on changing our emotional state.

In order to start the work mining for wisdom, we need to create an elevatedemotional state. It turns out that we can’t learn new stuff in a survival emotional state (i.e. a high beta brainwave state).

And I am the first to admit Step 1 is definitely not the easiest step.

In fact, it might be the hardest step, based on the level of the survival or negative emotional state we are in.

This might take minutes, or it might take months.

Tony Robbins suggests changing your: 1) physiology, 2) language (internal dialogue), and 3) focus. That is why in his events he plays catchy upbeat music, has everyone dancing, and gets people to repeat positive mantra’s while they are moving their bodies. This is one way to change our emotional state, mostly in the short-term.

Dr Joe Dispenza has very precise, practical and systematic meditations that take people out of their negative emotional states and start to experience, plus build up the muscles of creating, elevated emotional states. He teaches people to create a coherent and open heart and this is the ideal emotional state, and can be turned on with practice as needed.

Emotional Freedom Technique (Tapping) is another great way to change your emotional state, by influencing the autonomic nervous system.

We can also get out of survival emotional states if we build up the muscle of CURIOSITY, and flick its switch, whenever we notice we are in judgement. Curiosity has a more elevated frequency, and lights up the upper brain (frontal cortex), taking us out of survival mode.

If the memory of a past event is very traumatic this might take more time and support from some of the right professionals, practitioners or therapists. Having said that, I know that Dispenza’s work has been very effective, even for people with the most horrific trauma’s.

Once you have moved into an elevated emotional state (and away from survival or reactivity or victim-hood or the blame game) you are ready for Step 2.

Changing a memory into wisdom (Step 2)

This is the easier bit.

Once you have changed your emotional state, you are three quarters of the way to finding your wisdom.

If you are in an elevated emotional state and are looking through the lens of CURIOSITY:

  • You get to see the whole picture,
  • You have a broad perspective,
  • You can see things from the point of view of the other person (i.e. you can practice empathy),
  • You can see your own part in the experience,
  • You get to see or imagine into the future, and see the possible consequences of not letting go or changing,
  • You get to see where the warnings were: the red flags, the bad choices, the head-in-the-sand moments, etc.,

In this elevated emotional state, plus using the lens of curiosity, you finally start to see and recognize that there are, and always have been, positive benefits to your past experience.

This is where the wisdom is at.

It is looking through the right lens, without negative emotions, and seeing the lessons that life is revealing for you.

You might need to ask yourself 100 times, “What can I learn from this experience?“; but the outcome and liberation is so worth it.

There are always wisdom gems in the quagmire just waiting for you to notice them.

They are planted there by an intelligent and loving universe.

Then there is the next level possibility (Step 3)

The next level possibility is achieved if we look through our lens of curiosity, collect all the wisdom gems, and then drop into a feeling of GRATITUDE for the past negative event or person in our lives.

This changes the whole energy and chemistry of our memories (and its impact on our physical bodies).

We now can sense the event or person was a part of our personal evolution.

The person or event is seen as a stepping stone to something greater.

When we go through this process, every challenging relationship in our life becomes a lesson, gift and an opportunity for an even deeper relationship.

The business partner who lied and cheated you out of your money, inadvertently is teaching you how to succeed in your next venture.

That torn ligament, pneumonia and pleurisy, come with their unique special messages, which leads to deeper and more empowered choices.

Life is for us and not against us.

Stuff happens FOR US, and not to us.

You were loved into life, and are loved by life.

Life wants you to grow and blossom.

It just has an interesting and unique way of getting our attention.

The summary thing

The past, without the emotions entangled in them, are amazing sources of wisdom.

But we cannot see them, find them, or learn from them, if we are stuck in a negative emotional state.

When we do the work to change our emotional state, we get to play life at a whole new level.

We get to truly see.

We get to really understand.

And we even get to experience a feeling of gratitude for the painful things in our past.

So…have a fun day and week mining for those wisdom gems!

Take care,


PS: For a deeper conversations, check out my weekly Podcasts here.

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