Categories
Choice Confidence Decision Making Growth Perspective Self Esteem Success

The Power of Strategic and Mindful Transitioning  

I recently got off a Podcast interview (Sandcast), with a client of mine who is transitioning out of a professional Beach Volleyball career. 

The conversation was extremely insightful. 

(I will share it with you once he posts it) 

We talked about him transitioning out of elite sport into “what’s next?“. 

However, when it comes to “transitioning” (and doing it well), it applies to us all. 

Some transitions are more monumental. 

And some transitions are at the very basic daily level. 

For instance, I have worked with a lot of clients over the years who have been REALLY BAD at switching off from work when they get home

Essentially transitioning from “work mode” to “family mode“. 

Often it just doesn’t happen at all. 

Actually, you need to actively and consciously do something (let’s call it a mindful transition), to adapt most effectively to a new environment. 

How are you at “switching off” after work? 

The more monumental transitions might be – using a personal example – transitioning from being an Olympic Games bomb management expert and security consultant (working for the man, literally ;-)); to being a Life Coach in Bali, working for myself, and not really having much of an idea how to go about it. 

Regardless of the size or complexity of the transition, the way you do it matters. 

Even in yoga, there is conscious attention given to how you transition from one pose to another, because the yogis realised its importance.  

Which takes me to the key point of this conversation. 

Categories
Confidence Growth Life Lessons

What Is “Really” Holding You Back  

As you may, or may not know, I have been Coaching for over 18 years now. 

When I have a new client contact me, I ask them to complete a (very) detailed questionnaire. 

I question what events have shaped their current reality; what they do or don’t think they have control of; what they really want in life; and what they think may be holding them back

It’s the last question I am most interested in today. 

What people “believe” is holding them back, from greater happiness, joy, health, success, etc..

There is often a common theme. 

And many people think if only they just worked harder on this one thing, or had more of this one thing in their bag of tricks, they would be way happier, successful and fulfilled. 

In my experience, what people think is the major DIFFERENCE MAKER in success is the wrong thing.  

Through no real fault of their own. 

It is just what so many people have been led to believe

Whether through bad advice from “experts” or marketing messages, or pure baloney peddled on their Instagram feed by “Influencers” (spinning worldly advice – with no context – in a about minute). 

So, my theory is that many people (maybe most) are taught the wrong thing

Let me explain.  

Categories
Choice Confidence consciousness Growth Stress Success

How to Become The Person Who Doesn’t Get Taken Advantage of

The one thing we DO NOT want to do, when it comes to getting out of an emotional state of anger (or the likes) is to SUPPRESS our feelings of anger. 

We might have been taught this growing up. 

We might have even had parents who modelled the “stuff it down and hope it goes away” strategy; but I am here to tell you that is a super crappy strategy, which is sure to bite you on the butt at some point in the future.

And sometimes it bites HARD!!!

So, the first thing, not to do, is suppress your emotions. 

Probably in the same sort of vein – though maybe not as harmful – are ignoring the feeling, distracting yourself from the feeling, or numbing it out.

Again, these are all pretty substandard strategies. 

It (the icky emotion) might suck, but there is a lot of relevance to the saying “you need to feel to heal“. 

Which leads me onto my next big no-no. 

Categories
Choice Confidence Decision Making Optimum Health Perspective Problem Success

Why Use Only 1 Brain When You Have 3 Brains?

Yes, I said 3!

And no, I have not lost the plot or been smoking weed (as a new hobby).

All will be revealed very shortly.

And then you will get to reap the benefits.

If you have heard me talk about this before, my apologies, but I am going to hazard a guess that you could benefit from a wee reminder.

For those new to your powerful, potent and task-specific 3 brains, let’s journey on.

Remember; the better we optimize our brains, the better decisions we make, and the greater Destiny we co-create.

WOOHOO!!

Categories
Choice Confidence Decision Making Life Lessons Perspective Problem Stress Success

How to Get Sh#t Done and Prepare for Curve Balls

Most of my last 20+ years has been trying to figure out how I can make stuff happen (in my favour and with the least amount of energy) and how I can teach others what I have learned.

What works a little, a lot, or not at all.

Last week I talked about building up the Leader within us, and how being a greater leader is ESSENTIAL when it comes to optimizing our experience in life.

The other part of the optimizing-life-and-results-game is not only coming up with the great ideas and insights, but actually acting on them.

You, like me, probably know a lot of ‘great ideas’ people, who spend a lot of time marching on the spot and getting not much actually done.

Ideas are great, but it’s the execution of those ideas that brings them into being.

So…

How do we make sh#t happen, when it takes effort and energy (and sometimes we just don’t feel like doing it)?

Enter left of stage our inner WARRIOR.

Or to be more precise; enter from the very core of our gut, the part of us that gets stuff done…even when we don’t feel like it.

I believe all of us have a Warrior spirit within us.

Unfortunately, sometimes the Warrior needs more prodding and poking to ‘wake it up’.

It’s like our inner Warrior is still working off the after effects of an all-nighter and 3 bottles of red.

Categories
Choice Confidence Decision Making Growth Life Lessons Personality Perspective Relationship

It is Okay (and Normal) to Not Be Liked by Everyone

This feels like a relevant topic now.

And I like to write about things that are relevant or uncomfortable, even if it means a bunch of people unsubscribe to my newsletter. However, I will try and lighten this subject up as much as possible. 

I have worked with 100’s of clients over the 14+ years doing the ‘coaching’ thing. In that time a very common ‘limiting belief’ that comes up, way too often, is a belief along the general lines of:

If I am not LIKED it means I am a bad person (or not worthy of love).

Categories
Choice Confidence Growth Success

Confidence is Overrated (and Not Necessary for Success)

courageAt the time of this writing, I have been coaching a wide range of individuals, from all over the world, and from every walk of life for a little over 12 years.

And one of the most common things people tell me they want more of is ‘confidence’.

Somewhere along the line we have bought into the idea that CONFIDENCE = SUCCESS.
And that without ‘confidence’ you won’t succeed, or realise your dreams.

Here is what do I say to that?

“BULLSH#T!!!!”

Categories
Choice Confidence Growth Life Purpose Success

Are You Living Into Your Values or Feeling the Pain of Not?

ValuesI guess the question that might precede the question in the title of today’s musings and Happiness Tips is this:

Do you know what your primary VALUES are?

Do you REALLY know? (beyond the 23 second guess you might be inclined to do)

You might also be reflecting back to me, “Why is this an important question to commit my precious time and brain power to?”

Let me answer you question about why it is vitally important to understand what our primary and most important values are.

It’s actually simple.

Categories
Belief Confidence Doubt Growth

A Recent Revelation on How to Increase Your Confidence

confidenceI often think I am going to write a short newsletter, or tell you I am, but it rarely happens. So today might be a first for me, as my revelation was pretty damn simple (it happened in seconds).

Here is the background…

For a lot of clients I work with, a major thing on their shopping list of ‘Things I Want in My Life‘ is CONFIDENCE. “How can I have more confidence?” is a common question I am asked.

Categories
Choice Confidence Goal Setting Tips Growth Success

One Important Key to an Extraordinary Life: Creating an ‘Impossible’ Goal

goalDoes this sound counter-intuitive to you?
Does setting an impossible goal actually lead to failure and misery and unhappiness?I going to suggest just the opposite.
Your impossible goal will create a life that is not only truly worth living, but is rich in excitement, brings out the best in you, raises your self esteem and makes your life one that is truly worth living.And here is the other BIG SECRET…

Your impossible goal is only labelled as impossible (by you) because you have never breathed life into it. In fact it is much closer to you then you could ever imagine.

The main reasons being that the obstacles between this goal and where you are now are mostly constructs of your mind. So it is time for you to bend your reality like Leonardo DiCaprio in the movie Inception.