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Belief Choice Emotional Negative Emotions Perspective Problem

16 Years Coaching and This is Still The #1 Root Cause

For over 16 years I have been Coaching.

Essentially helping people get from where they are to where they want to be.

And figuring out what is in their way.

That is, what might be their greatest obstacles.

Real and PERCEIVED.

Is the obstacle a poor understanding of what they want?

Are they unclear of where they are starting from (i.e. don’t ‘know thyself’ so well)?

Is there a skill gap?

Etc.

Of all the things that disrupt people from navigating life in a meaningful, fulfilling and joyful way, something keeps showing up as numero uno Root Cause of Trouble (with a capital ‘T’) in our lives.

Categories
Choice Life Lessons Perspective Problem Relationship Success

Don’t Do This, If You Want What You Want

This article and insight is inspired by time spent in the kitchen the other day.

I was in the kitchen the other day with my partner Ferry (who happens to be an awesome cook).

She said something that got me thinking.

And brought us to today’s conversation.

A conversation which includes politicians, fraudsters, hypnotherapists and probably we could put a 4-year old into the mix as well.

The thing that happened with Ferry in the kitchen was this…

It was a very simple comment.

Ferry said: “Can you put some water into the kettle?” (I am pretty sure she did not say please).

As I went about this chore I am thinking exactly how much water is ‘some’?

“Some” is pretty non-descriptive.

It’s a pretty broad generalization.

Do I put in a teaspoon, a tablespoon, a half cup, a full cup, a couple of cups??

I have no clue.

Categories
Choice Feeling Growth Happiness Tips Life Purpose Perspective

Is Being Certain (all the time) What We REALLY Want?

I was listening to someone complain the other day.

It made me think of another person I had heard complaining recently.

Unfortunately, that some one was ME.

Bugger!

But it generated a great train of thought, as it lead me to this insight.

Something I sort of knew but glossed over in the whole living life thing.

The other person (who kicked off my thinking) was complaining about how something didn’t work out exactly as they planned.

And had the hump on because of that.

Something they ‘expected’ to happen, did not happen.

And their response was to get narky.

Fair enough.

But consider this…

If everything comes to pass that you expect to come to pass, HOW FRIGGIN BORING would your life be?

Categories
Choice Feeling Goal Setting Tips Happiness Tips Life Purpose Perspective

Without Doing this, Happiness is Elusive

This might be a shorter newsletter, as the point I want to make is pretty easy to explain, and pretty easy to understand.

I am pretty sure all of us can relate to it.

But as always…

It is not just about UNDERSTANDING something; it is about DOING something with that something you are now aware of.

So here it is.

A key to happiness.

A key to making it through a tough or shitty day.

A key to making it though a batch, or bunch, of shitty days.

Categories
Choice Decision Making Growth Life Purpose Success

When Would Now Be A Great Time To Check In On What ‘Is’ Working And What ‘Is Not’

Yep.

It is check-in time.

And what a great time of the year to be doing it.

When you make a course correction at the start of the year, it can mean you are in an entirely new place, space and version of yourself, by the end of the year.

High ROI!!

Apparently prior preparation and planning prevents piss-poor performance, so let’s see if we can take some relatively easy steps NOW, to create an even better experience over the course of this year.

The area we are going to target is “HABITS“.

And what better way to start off this inner reflection, than with a quote by James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits.

“New goals don’t deliver new results. New lifestyles do. And a lifestyle is a process, not an outcome. For this reason, all of your energy should go into building better HABITS, not chasing better results.”

He’s talking my lingo.

The importance of creating a ‘lifestyle’, and that lifestyle being created, and greatly influenced by, the HABITS we adopt in our lives.

Categories
Choice consciousness Goal Setting Tips Growth Joy Relationship Spirituality

My 5 Top Tips for Thriving in 2024

Firstly, Happy New Year!!

And welcome to whatever day you are at of the 366 we are gifted with this year.

After looking to the PAST for the top things I learned in 2023 (my last post of 2023), I am now switching to looking into the FUTURE and setting my intention and attention on what I think will be serve me (and you) in the year ahead.

So let’s jump straight in and see what we can do to help us THRIVE even more this year!

Categories
Choice Goal Setting Tips Growth Perspective

Meaningful Goals and Happiness

I am writing this in December, as we come towards the end of the year.

Staring down the barrel of 2024.

December is definitely a time to reflect on the year coming to a close.

Plus is a time to curiously contemplate what your Goals for 2024 might be.

I was talking with a client the other day about the degree of global disruption there is currently; economically, politically and with numerous wars/major conflicts (something like 20 worldwide).

All of these things, shocking as they are, pull our attention, energy and emotions towards them.

In metaphysical terms, and even in quantum physics, it is clear that where attention goes, energy flows.

So one of our greatest challenges is where we put our attention.

What are we creating in our life, as a result of where we are placing our attention?

Are we creating the future we wish to experience?

Categories
Choice Decision Making Meditation Nutrition Optimum Health Perspective Physical Activity Success

Want More Energy? Then Target These 2 Things

I believe one of my principle ‘reasons for being’ on the planet is to help others.

And the thing I think most helps others is them having more ENERGY.

If we have more energy, then we have more capacity to do awesome stuff.

And to create awesome stuff.

And to be awesome human beings.

So I am fascinated with, and seriously committed to figuring out: HOW CAN WE HAVE (EVEN) MORE ENERGY?

Plus how can we best use it once we have powered up.

Today I will focus on the generation of energy, and then in another article I will talk about the (best) utilization of our energy.

There are 2 principle ways to have the most energy, as I see it.

  1. Generate more.
  2. Waste less.

Let’s start with the first.

Categories
Choice consciousness Decision Making Feeling Life Lessons Perspective

Tough Decisions, Complexity, Better Questions and Cute Dogs

Yes; we will be discussing all of those topics.

As they weave together.

Regardless of whether you are a ‘dog person’ or not, I am sure you will get where I am coming from, and take something of value from this conversation.

Over the last bunch of weeks I have had some really tough decisions to make in relationship to dogs, which have not been easy.

Time to really practice what I teach.

All of which I have written about over this year and are in my latest book (18 Ways We Make Life Way Harder Than It Needs To Be) and YES, that is a ridiculously blatant plug for my new book, but I am okay with that as I know it will serve you well.

Now let’s jump straight into the life of Carl Massy story time…

Categories
Choice Perspective Relationship

Handy Relationship Tip: When Not to “Wing’ It

Relationships have a pretty big impact on the quality of our lives.

I suspect you might agree with me on that one.

And a relationship, which is healthy and harmonious, is a beautiful soothing balm for our mental health.

It seems when the relationships in our lives are going well, life is SO much easier.

Alternatively, when they are a bit wobbly, life can sort of suck.

One of my favourite strategies still remains knowing The 5 Love Languages and APPLYING the strategy in your relationships, but I want to share another with you.

This was reiterated with me the other day in a coaching session.

My client is great at dealing with stuff in his professional life, but a bit wobbly at times when it comes to relationships (aren’t we all).

And in this case, there is a good reason why…