Now I don’t like to throw any blame around as a general rule, but it is pretty evident that we are bombarded with ‘messages’ from advertising (LOTS of it!!!), peers, colleagues, Hollywood movies, books, magazines, friends, family, and the little voices in the back of heads that have been building up over decades.
Most of them are telling us that we are not enough. That we are not doing enough, being enough, have enough, achieved enough, etc. etc. etc.
Now I am a big fan of tapping into your full potential, as you know, but…not at the expense of the things that are most important to you.
The first thing to know
I was recently listening to the dude who wrote the book series called Conversations with God (aka: Walsch) and one of his core teachings is that we are worthy of love (love being the rocket fuel of champions) just as we are.
So before I head of in any direction, this is a nice pill to swallow. Regardless of how much of a loonie, apparent underachiever, (add your own word) that you think you are, in reality you are pretty cool and worthy of love just as you are.
I like the feel of that.
The superhuman thing
Like I said, I am all about tapping into more of our latent potential and power, that I know resides in us all. I like to think we probably have within all of us mortals, the ability to be about 20 times better or greater than we currently are. We might not be able to see it at times, but I am fairly convinced of it.
However…
There is too much pressure on people to ACHIEVE, ACHIEVE, ACHIEVE, without there being a clear clause which also says….
It is a great thing to achieve greatness, but don’t do it at the expense of your:
- Sanity
- Family
- Health
- Values
I like to ask the question of my clients when they come up with their super awesome goals: “IS IT WORTH WHAT IT WILL TAKE TO ACHIEVE THAT GOAL?”
Getting perspective is a key to this superhuman thing.
Holding it all together
What happens if you keep increasing the pressure inside a balloon without letting some air out?
Yes. You guessed it! It POPS.
What do you think happens when you keep loading yourself up with pressure to perform, pressure to do, pressure to be a superhuman, pressure not to make mistakes, pressure to say yes to everyone’s requests, pressure to keep everyone else happy…etc.??
Yes. You guessed it again! You POP. Also known as burn-out. Getting sick. Catching a cold. Becoming lethargic. Losing motivation. Feeling disconnected. Etc.
So I am giving you permission this week to say a lot more of the following:
- “Can I please have some help?”
- “I would love to join you but I have too much on now, so I cannot make your event (aka someone else’s priority).”
- “No!”
- “I am too overloaded now, so if you want me to do that, what would you like me to stop doing?”
- “Busy.”
- “Let me just outsource that to my hired help.”
- “I will when you double my salary.” 😉
And finally. I am not sure you have to hold it all together, for appearances. Don’t hold emotions in, or they will come out in physical pain or illness. Don’t force yourself to keep things in. Find a technique (EFT or Tapping) or Coach or a therapist or the likes that can help you move through and process your emotions and help you get to the bottom of why you feel you need to be superhuman. What will happen if you are not? Will the world end? Will your life fall apart? Will the job go on? Will your friend getting over you cancelling on them? What is the story you have bought into?
Slow down to get perspective.
Even Superman is not at it 100% of the time. A lot of the time he is goofing about as Clark Kent, recharging his batteries and keeping things light and bright. Then he surges when the need arises.
So…no need to try and hold it all together. It is time, at that point, to get some help, or have a breather, or slow down, or ditch some stuff, or head to the local health spa.
The important stuff
Another thing that is such an important part of this dialogue is to get clear what is most important to you and focus on that and them. We cannot do everything, all of the time, as much as we would like to think we can.
I realised this week I would be best doing the bare minimum of work, so I could be fully present for mum’s 70th birthday. I work out what was 100% essential, and then ditched everything else.
The same thing when you are feeling overwhelmed. Take a step back and ask yourself a powerful question like:
“What are the absolute most important things in my life that I need to focus my energy on?”
(These are the big ones like health, intimate partner, children, family, friends, rest, values, and don’t forget FUN)
Commit to those and let the LOW PRIORITY stuff go.
In Summary
- Don’t be so hard on yourself
- Don’t get too caught up in what other people expect of you
- Ease up on your expectations of yourself
- Accept where you are at
- Always ask the question, “Is doing this, worth what it will take to achieve it?”
- Focus your energy on the most important stuff
- It’s ok – if you are struggling with holding it together – to get some help
- You are pretty awesome just being you
- Say ‘no’ more
- Make life a long-distance event as opposed to a sprint
As always, please ask any questions you have. Plus I love hearing feedback from you on what resonated for you. Also do me and others a huge favour and pass them on. Knowledge used in the right way is definitely a way to access our incredible power. All the very best and take care.