I spoke the other week in the Tips about a technique called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or ‘Tapping’.
It is an amazing tool for winding down the stress response (that fight or flight thing) and recalibrating our brains by letting it know that the thing we think is a threat does not need a full on physical response. That is, we do not actually need the body to get physically ready for fisticuffs with the boss (dilated pupils, blood thickening, turning off the immune system, blood to the major muscles, etc.), just because they changed the deadline on our project.
First: let’s talk FACT’s
One of my favourite parts of the Tapping technique, happens at the very start. And as a stand alone I think it is hugely effective for getting perspective on a FACT that many of us seem to forget.
This is the FACT…
99.9% of people on the planet have not got it all figured out. I am yet to meet a person that has a life without challenge. That has not made bad decisions. That does not have beliefs that don’t serve them. That have no blocks that limit their greatness. That do not get triggered by random and weird things.
No one else outside of us (regardless of what they post on Facebook ;-)) has the ‘perfect’ life free of challenge, stress, doubts, fears and worry.
So let go of that notion, if you think there is ‘something wrong with you’. Know if your life is a little ‘messy’; then you are in great company.
An empowering (but simple) statement
In the Tapping technique, one of the first things you do, to get started is to say a statement a number of times, as you tap on the ‘karate chop’ point on the hand. To do this I would use the tips of 4 fingers on my right hand to tap on the karate chop area of my left hand, as I say the following…
Even though I am feeling (anger, fear, worry, rage, shame, vulnerable, etc.) I deeply and completely ACCEPT myself.
Imagine if you ACCEPTED your humanness and your feelings, and instead of beating yourself up for feeling them, you just accepted that you are feeling what you are feeling. How would that be?
I am here to tell you. Having done this 100’s of times myself – it feels AWESOME!
I am telling myself, by saying that statement, that there is nothing wrong with me. I am just feeling what I am feeling. And just because I am feeling right now that I want to strangle my partner and throw her in the laundry basket (or tip the dinner plate over my partners head or forget to pick the kids up from school so you can have some peace, etc.) I am not a bad person. And the feeling is less likely to linger when we come from a place of acceptance.
A quick lesson in psychology
One of the most revered psychologists of the last century (Albert Ellis) said in most cases it was not the thing that someone supposedly did ‘wrong’ that caused the greatest amount of emotional pain. It was the beating up they did to themselves as a result of doing it.
‘I should not have done that.’
‘I am so stupid for making that mistake.’
‘Why can’t I be more perfect like those other perfect people (on Facebook).’
‘How could I have been so stupid?’
Can you see the problem? It is not the making the mistake that is the problem for many of us. It is what we tell ourselves is wrong with ourselves – INSTEAD OF ACCEPTING OUR HUMANNESS.
My task for you…
I want you, in the next 24 hours, when you start feeling a feeling you would rather not feel (anger, frustration, worry, annoyance, hate, jealousy, fear, etc.) to try the Tapping Technique as you tap on that karate chop point.
Even though I am feeling (insert yours here) I deeply and completely ACCEPT myself.
And then feel free to let me know what happens, when you join the Club and accept you are human like the rest of us. 😉
Make sense? Keep me posted and let know thoughts. And feel free to have a dialogue with me over on my Facebook Page.
As always, if you want me to help you with a powerful coaching session, you know how to get in touch with me. If you have any comments or insights you would like to share, head over to the Blog, or jump on my Facebook page to continue the dialogue (and pick my mind). Also check out The Happiness Class on iTunes for some FREE weekly Coaching. And please share this newsletter with friends and family.