Tony Robbins talks about the quality of our lives being directly proportional to the quality of the relationships in our life; which is supported by Positive Psychology research which lists quality relationships as one of the five measurable pillars to well-being (and our ability to ‘flourish’).
I don’t think either you or me will deny the impact of our relationships on our happiness. So I want to share with you one simple relationship strategy I use in my life.
A basic concept
When we help someone to like them selves more, they will like us more. And well we feel liked (or loved) by someone else then we feel better about ourselves.
So if we reverse engineer this concept, for us to feel better about ourselves, all we need to do is to make other people feel good about themselves.
How ground-breaking is that? 😉
My relationship strategy that also helps with my success
I have an intention I set myself, every time before I connect and communicate with someone. I think at one time it was something I thought about, or intended, but now it is just how I show up.
This is the intention I set:
I want the person I am connecting or communicating with to feel ‘better’ after the conversation or connection than they felt before the conversation.
My life’s intention is to improve everything that I touch (or put my mind to).
Do I always succeed? No. Of course I don’t. But most times I do, because I start from the right place. I know that if the other person feels better, than ultimately I will feel better, and in the bigger scheme of things more goodness will come back to me. People like doing things for, or giving gifts to, people that make them feel good.
What intention have you conditioned yourself for, when it comes to connecting? Are you there for what you can get, or what you can GIVE? Let me assure you, when you give, life just becomes a whole lot richer.
Caveat: This is not about just focusing on other people at the expense of yourself. It is not about sucking up to people. It is not about always putting other people first. This is about being genuine, authentic, caring, compassionate, empathetic, and making the world a better place for us all. 😉
What I do
Before I have a personal or business ‘meeting’ I ask myself, “how can I best serve this person?” I might get a specific response from my intelligent mind, or a reminder to show up fully and be 100% present.
I also listen carefully during the conversation to understand what their biggest needs or challenges are. Sometimes I suggest solutions and other times I just listen fully. I let them be heard. To get stuff off their chest. To feel as though they matter.
In my humble opinion, I think our communication skills these days are pretty woeful. We rush through conversations. Too often we are focused on ourselves and what we need, as we think about getting to our next thing on the ‘To Do’ list. Our crazy world actually teaches us to focus on what we can GET as opposed to what we can GIVE. And the crazy thing is that when we GIVE, we actually get what we ultimately want (to feel good) and usually a whole lot more.
Bringing it all together
If you want to FEEL GREAT then make other people feel great. It is that simple.
Ask yourself how you can serve the person in front of you best.
Set the intention that every time you have a connection with someone, you want them to leave feeling even better after the connection, than before the connection.
Make them happy, and you will inadvertently make yourself happier.
A final word
Can you do this?
Of course!!!!! 😉
Today, before you meet someone, or speak to someone, take a moment to set the intention of improving something in their life. Leave them feeling better for you being in their life, and you will feel a whole lot better about your own life.
Got any questions or comments? You know how to find me. Also feel free to help me to share these Tips with others, by forwarding them to your friends and family, since we could all do with reminders, support and useful tips along the way.