Ok boys. Dudes. Fella’s. Blokes. Men. Or whatever you prefer to be called. I am sure when I get you one on one, you are just as likely as every other guy I have coached over the year, to want a little more bliss and love in your life. As tough as we like to make out we are, who doesn’t want a little more love in their life? So be courageous and read on. 😉
So…if we want more love and bliss (and I know the girls are smart enough to say outright that they do ;-))…what are some of the ways we can turn the volume up?
Here are what I recommend for turning up the love in your life:
Love Lesson 1: You know this one already
This one is a reminder, which most of what I write is. That is my role. To wake you up to what you already know, but may not be applying.
If you want to get more love you need to give more love.
Now I could go into mirror neurons and the activation of hormones like oxytocin and some other smart sounding biochemistry, but the fact remains. If we want more of anything, a great place to start (because we have 100% autonomy and control over it) is to give it first.
Can I guarantee it? Maybe not. But I am here to tell you that the odds will be seriously stacked in your favour if you try this out.
Here is some of how I do it:
- I compliment people
- I congratulate people on their successes
- I serve people without asking for anything back- I express love (through words, actions, my presence)
- I smile at people
- I help people feel good about themselves
Love Lesson 2: Get a dog 😉
Anyone that has a dog knows this one. Go away for longer than 10 mins, and the excitment from your dog when you come back is completely disproportionate to your time away.
Click here for a prime example of our dog (Apple) when we come home, which I just uploaded on Facebook.
Dogs do a good job of teaching us that unconditional love thing. Hard to do, but not impossible.
Lesson 3: Get out of your head
When I was in the Barossa Valley, staying on my mate’s vineyard (so impressed with Pete’s achievements), I would get up early each morning and walk through the vines. Then I would find a spot with a great vista and do some 360 degree turns. I would feel the sun on my body, a breeze washing over me, and the ground on my feet. I would look out over the rolling hills. I would listen to the birds and I would pay attention to the smells of the native plants.
I would feel more acutely through my bodily senses. I would not be thinking about the past or the future. I would come fully into present time consciousness. And when I did that I felt bliss. I felt amazing. I felt loved-up by life.
So…get more love by spending more time fully present in nature. And don’t think that only includes the times you trek to the forest or walk on the beach. It can also be the strip of lawn on the pavement or the pot-plants on the patio. Spending time in nature is timeless wisdom plus very appropriate for 2015 and our crazy pace of living.
Lesson 4: Say thank you even more
This is the gratitude bit.
When we are deeply grateful, that feeling we feel is very similar to the love feeling. The biochemistry is very similar. So we feel amazing positive emotions when we deeply connect with gratitude.
The awesome thing with this is YOU have 100% CONTROL over the Gratitude Button. You can turn this on any time you want. And as often as you want. There is no limit, but the one you create.
Push that button A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lesson 5: Do some work on the self love thing
Now this could be a big subject, but let’s keep it light and practical.
Here are some of my suggestions:
- You accept that you are imperfect, and that is ok (believe me everyone else is too).
- You accept you feel what you feel and be ok with feeling what you feel (Sometimes I feel angry, confused, rage, sad, frustrated, worried, etc. – but that’s ok. It’s what I do sometimes, but it is not ‘me’.).
- Don’t compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to you and ask are you 4% better than what you were before? That is the magic number for growth and success.
- Hang out with inspiring people.
- Don’t take yourself too seriously (we are all dorks sometimes).
- Forgive yourself more easily.
- Get perspective. Whether that is by yourself or from someone outside of yourself.
- Be ok with asking for help for the deeper inner work.
Here are Today’s (Specific) Take-aways:
Don’t sit back and wait for love and bliss to hopefully make their way into your life. That can definitely happen by itself, because life wants us to grow and evolve and love is a good catalyst for that. But my advice is to do the things that will bring more bliss and love into your life.
Practice for the next two weeks some insight or strategy you have taken away from above. Give it a shot. Prove Carl Massy wrong (or right ;-)).
Enjoy your day and enjoy your next couple of weeks taking the LOVE challenge!!
As always, please ask questions of me, or share your thoughts in a response email or by putting a post on Facebook.