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Choice consciousness Growth Perspective Problem Relationship

The 3 Essentials Parts to Setting ‘Effective’ Boundaries

Listen or Download – me reading this from Dropbox

Hands up if you are slightly crap, or totally crap, at setting boundaries.

Want to know a secret?

It might not be that you are bad at setting boundaries.

It might be that you are missing two other essential elements to get the best out of your BOUNDARY setting.

Or then again…

You might never have given enough thought, attention or energy to establishing what a boundary looks like for YOU.

In my experience there are 3 ESSENTIALS when it comes to getting the most out of boundaries.

When I say ‘getting the most’ I really mean…

More PEACE, harmony and space to be and express YOU.

Let’s dive straight into the 3 Essentials, which are presented in the order of their application.

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Categories
Acceptance Choice Emotional Fear Growth Pain

A “7th” Way We Make Life Harder Than It Needs to Be

You do know I could go all year on this topic.

And I am now committed to writing a short, compact book, on 18 ways we make life harder than it needs to be (and more easeful alternatives), which will be published by the end of the year.

But for now, we will keep the conversation going, which we started 2 weeks ago.

If you didn’t see the first list of 5, check it out here.

This week, we will continue the theme.

Essentially the theme is this:

By the choices we do or don’t make and the actions we do or don’t take, we make life much HARDER than it needs to be in the long-term and for a majority of our waking hours.

And for you, me and everyone on the planet, I think we could all do with less HARD and more PEACE.

Plus if we do hard, it is because we chose to, knowing the highly positive benefits at the back end.

So let the conversation continue…

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Categories
Acceptance Belief Choice consciousness Feeling Perspective

A 6th Way We Make Life Harder than It Needs to be

Since so many people enjoyed last weeks article, where I spoke out 5 ways we make life harder than it needs to be, I thought I would add to the list, while answering this question…

“How do we unintentionally (or accidentally) make life harder than it needs to be?”

I am a big fan of words like ease and grace.

Also I like a high return on investment, for the lowest expenditure of energy, time and resources.

I am always looking at how to improve things or make them easier and more impactful.

Life is hard enough as it is, so it makes a LOT of sense to not make it harder than it needs to be.

And given my work coaching for the last 15 years, I have had plenty of time to see people doing it tough, when they really don’t need to.

Plus I have seen how they are the ones – knowingly or unknowingly – making their own life hard.

It is most often not something “out there” which is causing pain, discomfort or disturbance in their lives, it is often something they are doing, because they are not aware of it, or don’t know better.

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Categories
Choice consciousness Decision Making Emotional Fear Life Lessons Perspective

5 Ways We Accidently Make Life Harder Than It Needs to be

Hands up if you want a ‘hard’ life?

I am guessing we had about 0% of hands showing.

I reckon the numbers would swing back to approximately 100% if I asked who wants more PEACE in their lives!

Who wouldn’t?

So let’s imagine at one end of the spectrum there is HARD and the other end is PEACE.

This article is about what we mostly ‘unconsciously’ (or accidentally) do, which sends us closer to the HARD end of the spectrum, and what we can do to move closer to the PEACE end of town.

So let’s dive straight in with the first way we make life harder.

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Categories
Choice Decision Making Growth Life Lessons Perspective

How Not to Make Terrible Decisions

This post might save you an inordinate amount of pain in your butt.

And who wouldn’t want a bit less of that?

You know I am big on decision-making, and how it shapes our reality.

I also have a lot of experience in the decision-making space, having not only written a book on it (Decision Making Mastery), but also having attended one of top leadership academies in the world (Royal Military College, Duntroon), was an Army Officer for 14 years, did consulting on bomb management to a bunch of Olympic Games, and been coaching for over 15 years.

I am not tooting my trumpet.

I just want to let you know I have some experience in the topic of decision-making, and how not to suck at it.

Sucking at it, is something I find is pretty common (unfortunately).

And the consequences are significant and make peoples lives much harder than they need to be.

I have also paid extra attention to a blind-spot playing out in a number (most) of my clients of late.

And because I am super curious, I am now even more clear about what the issue is.

Which is something you will DEFINITELY benefit from.

So let’s walk through the process.

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Uncategorized

Using the Dumb as F#ck Principle to Optimize Your Health

Are you curious to know WTF I am on about?

Well bare with me, and then you will bare the fruits of newfound knowledge. 🙂

For starters, I am not a fan of the hazards of excessive exposure to non-natural EMF on the cells of our body (and it’s effects on our neurology).

Seems I am also not a big fan of “smart” cities.

They totally make me cringe.

Ewwwwww!! 🙂

And while I am having a wee rant, I am also not a fan of smart phones, smart TV’s, smart refrigerators, and a lot of other things labelled as “Smart”.

Here’s my theory:

The more I outsource ‘smart’ to something OUTSIDE of myself, the more likely I am going to decrease my internal smarts.

Not a cool play if you are on the path to elevated wisdom.

So let me explain how the “Dumb as F#ck” Principle works when it comes to your physical and mental health.

And maybe we just use the acronym “DAF”, so I deposit a few less “F” bombs throughout this post.

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Categories
Choice consciousness Emotional Negative Emotions Personality Relationship

Proving, Pride, People-Pleasing and Projecting and The True Cost

I hope you enjoyed the Health Tips over the last couple of weeks.

This week I want to explore a topic that comes up very often with the coaching clients I work with, and which I also observe with friends and family.

It is a whole mix of “P” words.

I have talked at length about how PRIDE holds us back from the full expression of our true potential and its relationship to our ability to raise of our level of consciousness. So although Pride is in the mix of the P’s I won’t detail it again in this article.

The other day I was with a client and we really started to explore why they are doing what they are doing.

And whether it was what they really wanted to do, or were they motivated by other reasons (a few of those “P’s” for example) and what was the cost.

So that is the catalyst for where we are heading today.

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Categories
Choice Emotional Negative Emotions Nutrition Optimum Health

My Top Health Tips to Thrive in 2023 (Part 2) Talking Toxicity

We are back again to my favourite topic.

Yours and my health and vitality.

Essentially if we don’t have health, vitality and energy, it is hard to stretch yourself into your FULL POTENTIAL.

Achieving your big hairy audacious goals (BHAG) requires a large amount of consistent, high-grade energy.

So this health stuff is essential.

If you haven’t read Part 1 (Health Tip 1-6), focused mainly around nutrition, check it out too.

Plus you might want to check out my book The Guidebook to Optimum Health, where I obviously go way deeper.

Now, let’s check out round 2.

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Categories
Choice Growth Nutrition Optimum Health

My Top Health Tips to Thrive in 2023 (Part 1) Nutrition

This is not only my favourite topic, but something I have been reading, writing and researching since about 1999.

It was in 1999 that I started playing with different ways of eating, living and thinking.

Over the decades I have experimented with numerous concepts, philosophies, practices and elements, and here are some of the things I have discovered along the way.

In 2014 I even published a book called The Guidebook to Optimum Health, which is still current, though I might have to update the section on ‘detoxification’.

So with all of that said, let’s jump straight in.

Note: They are not in priority order, but the order they came to mind and this is Part 1 of a 2-Part “Health Tips” Blog.

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Uncategorized

How to Turn Down the Intensity of Your Emotions

This is pretty much a follow on from last weeks post.

Where I talked about the important of being in the REALITY zone, and not the STORY zone, when making decisions.

I also talked about how I encourage my Coaching clients to be as boring as possible when describing things in their lives.

I also encourage them to be impeccable with their language, to get to reality even quicker.

Not only do you get to reality, but you also enter the place of specificity.

Which is such a USEFUL place to be.

About 47 times (at least) more useful than a ‘generalization’!!

Again it comes back to our language.

Are you using words that are non-specific, too broad, unclear, imprecise, and don’t really give you a clear sense of the ‘reality’?

Versus words that are targeted, precise, and specific.

Words that allow you to get to the heart of the issue.

The reality of the situation you are faced with.

It is MUCH easier to come up with a solution when you know specifically what you need to focus on.

Continue reading “How to Turn Down the Intensity of Your Emotions”

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