So here are 3+ simple tips to make your like more easeful and less stressful / difficult / complicated.
Easeful Idea #1: Reread the serenity prayer
The serenity prayer is not just something for the religious, it is a super practical piece of priceless advice.
(God / Life), grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I like the first part: accept the things I cannot change. Such as: the weather, someone being themselves, weeds growing in an unkempt garden, getting older, people passing away, people not thinking and acting the same as us, reality, etc.
We cause ourselves far too much pain, stress and discomfort by resisting that which is. Yes to having the courage to changing the things we can, but letting go of the need to fight the stuff we cannot change.
Are you fighting something now which you cannot change? Are you able to let it go? To surrender the need to control the things you cannot?
Please re-read the serenity prayer and keep it in mind for the rest of this day.
(Life), grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Easeful Idea # 2: Stretch, don’t snap
Tal Ben-Sharar – positive psychologist, author and former Harvard Professor – taught about the difference between a ‘stretch’ goal, and a ‘snap’ goal. I am sure you understand the essence. It is the difference between lifting a weight in the gym that is uncomfortable, but tolerable, versus lifting a weight that is SO heavy you tear a major muscle and sustain a severe injury.
We need discomfort for growth, but not pain.
Now I am all about setting myself up with some pretty ambitious goals. But often I give myself enough time to grow into them. When I decided I would write 5 books, I had NO CLUE how to go about it. 😉 But I also gave myself enough time to learn how to and then do it.
So what could have been a snap goal (writing 5 books when I had no clue how) became a ‘stretch’ goal when I stretch the timeline. When I decided to write great books, but not worry about writing Pulitzer Prize winning books. When I decided to enlist the help of a great editor and designer.
Do you need to modify your big goals? Do you need new resources? Do you need some advice? Do you need to change the timeline? Do you need to get clear of the ‘why’?
Easeful Idea # 3: Is your life a marathon or a sprint?
Life is full of contradictions. I know you know that you know that. 😉
We are told to live for today (maybe shouted loudest by someone trying to sell you something ;-)), make every second count, and live like there was no tomorrow. Great in theory, but not so practical and pretty stressful.
Do you really need to achieve (XYZ) today? or this week? or even this year?
One thing I love about the definition of success by Earl Nightingale (“Success is the progressive realisation of a worthy ideal”) is for me it means that I can experience the feelings of success, while progressively moving in the direction of my goals. In fact, the ideal is to love the journey so much, it actually becomes less important to you if you even reach the final destination.
This means you don’t have to SPRINT for the finish line in life. You can see life as a marathon, and tick off milestones as you go. And just like an elite marathon runner, the more they train, and the more experience they accumulate, the faster they move between the milestones anyway.
So are you rushing through life? Is your life more frantic than it needs to be, because you are sprinting for a figurative finish line? How can you ease back the speed, and settle into a mile-eating pace that will get you to the finish line soon enough; with enough energy left over to enjoy the celebrations; plus energy spare to set off on your next (worthy) quest.
More Easeful Idea’s: Reminders for you
1. Do more things that bring you joy.
2. Ask for help.
3. Don’t do things just because other people want you to.
4. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Please.
5. Cut yourself some slack (no one else has got it all together, so stop trying to be the first ;-)).
6. Learn to breathe more fully and consciously.
7. There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
8. Take more walks in nature.
9. Drink more water.
10. Stop and smell the roses.
There are lots of things I could have written about today. I had so many ideas and this was inspired by a colleague I met yesterday who was working on an idea that to me sounded WAY too hard – and it was not even her primary idea.
We ended coming up with a great solution, that served the outcome she desired, but required less work (and force) to make it happen. Once we got perspective on what she was actually trying to achieve (as opposed to follow someone elses idea), then we got creative.
How could you make your life a bit more easeful?
I hope I have given you some great ideas to start with. Now it is time to put those great insights and ideas into play. All the very best with that.
As always, please ask questions of me, or share your thoughts in a response email or by putting a post on Facebook.