I study success and successful people a lot and there are certain things the successful do or don’t do that allows them to perform at the level they do, and have the impact they do. As you know, it isn’t by chance.
I also look in the mirror a bunch…not to check myself out! I was being metaphoric (of course). Part of the self-awareness thing. So this is what I also know to be true through experience.
Getting warmed up
When you say ‘yes’ and when you say ‘no’ has an ENORMOUS impact on where you are and where you get to in life.
Those two words – and how and when you use them – have a greater impact on your life (your relationships, happiness, bank balance, health, joy, vitality, etc.) than how tall you are, how old you are, what your IQ is, what gender you are, how many books you have read, how many university qualifications you have, how much money you got in your inheritance, how strong you are, how pretty you are, etc. etc. etc.
Have I got your attention now?
When to say ‘yes’
There are two main ways to improve the quality of the yeses that you speak into the world:
1: From a Place of Clarity
When you get VERY clear about what it is you want from life – who you want to be, what you want to do, and what you want to have, it is much easier to say yes.
If I am very clear what my goals are, I can very clearly say yes to the things that will take me closer to my ultimate goal. I know what I need, I know the direction I am heading, so I say ‘yes’ to the things that take me closer to the goals I have deemed worthy of my time on this planet.
So the clearer you are of what you want, the clearer it is to say yes.
2: From a Place of Knowing
This is the place that is less head and more from the neck down. This is in your guts or in your heart or a whole body feeling. This is where you just KNOW (because you feel it deeply inside you) you just need to say ‘yes’ to something. It might not fit exactly with your ‘master plan’ (and might even seem intellectually illogical), but it might be necessary for your mental, emotional and spiritual growth. Something like a ‘calling’.
Sometimes you just know you need to say ‘yes’. Even if that means jumping off the (metaphoric) cliff into the abyss. You jump into the unknown because you feel very strongly and clearly, this is the ‘right thing’ to do.
How to say ‘No’
It takes less energy to say ‘yes’ than to say ‘no’ for the majority of people, the majority of the time. Because saying ‘no’ might offend people, upset people, make you unpopular, make people not like you (ouch ;-)), and be really hard to say.
Warren Buffet once said one of the keys to his success was his ability to say ‘no’. For 100 opportunities he was offered he might say ‘no’ to 99 and ‘yes’ to 1.
There is a real cost for not saying ‘NO’ to the things that don’t serve you. The two main costs are TIME and ENERGY. The time, you can never get back. And if you waste your energy on stuff that is not important, that gives you less energy to dedicate to the stuff that REALLY matters.
How good you are at saying ‘no’ has a HUGE impact on the results you get in life. It is very hard to get to where you want to get (or where you have the potential to ascend to) if you are dragging around a bunch of low priority ‘things’ that suck up your time and energy, because you didn’t say ‘no’ for fear of upsetting or offending someone. Maybe it was some random kids 2yr old birthday party. Or watching the football game you couldn’t give a sh*t about with your mates. Or the party that is likely to be less fun than a dentist visit. Or the ‘coffee catch-up’ that will be more gossiping and complaining. Or the client that is an energy vampire. Stop saying yes to this stuff!!!!! It is holding you back from greatness.
The most successful people on the planet are VERY VERY guarded with their time and energy.
Here is a story with Sir Richard Branson. He was offered $100,000 to do a 1-hour keynote speech. Wow! My kinda money. But he said ‘no’. Then they offered $250,000 and he said ‘no’. So they offered $500,000 and he still said ‘no’. And finally they offered him an open cheque book (name his price) and he still said ‘no’. The reason why. It was not in alignment with the major 3 priorities he had at the time (the things he was saying ‘yes’ to).
Learn how to say ‘no’ to low priority activities and it will radically change your life. It will liberate energy. Free up time. And create space for the things you really need to say ‘yes’ to.
Do ya get it?????This is SO important. Pass this message on. Forward this email. People need to know this.
It is often much harder to say ‘NO’ than ‘YES’, but for most of us, it is the things we don’t say ‘no’ to that are holding us back the most. That are costing us precious TIME and ENERGY. Also known as LIFE. 😉
Take a lesson from the elite and strengthen those ‘no’ muscles, while getting much clearer about what to say ‘yes’ to. Remember success does not happen by chance. It happens when you step into the big version of yourself. The one with untapped potential. The one that is bursting at the seams to come out into the world.
What do you need to say ‘YES’ to? (or get clearer about)
What do you need to say a big fat ‘NO’ to?
And now…be that person.
See you next week! 😉
And please ask any questions you have. Plus I love hearing feedback from you on what resonated for you. Also do me and others a huge favour and pass them on. Knowledge used in the right way is definitely a way to access our incredible power. All the very best and take care.