Today’s article is inspired by a series I was watching with Ferry on YouTube the other night.
It is called “Starting Up Starting Over” and is hosted by a British chap called Ben Fogle.
Who is a rather dashing English chap, well-spoken, polite and well-mannered. Just as you would expect.
He is a television personality, who has made a number of documentary series, following the lives of different people as they make significant changes and life decisions. A former series of his was called ‘New Lives in the Wild‘.
Given that I am fascinated by people, and the why they do what they do, and handle doing what they chose to do, along with their evolving psychology as they go through different life experiences, this was time well spent in front of the “screen”.
The show, in particular, we were watching was about an English nanny, in her early 40’s who decided to sell up everything in London, and purchase an animal farm (goats, pigs, geese, donkeys, sheep, rabbits, Shetland ponies, and chickens), in the very northern reaches of Scotland, near a village of about 300 people.
She had no farming experience.
No business experience.
And no savings to draw on.
At the start of the program you are left wondering how the f#ck is this person going to see this out, and actually survive, not only financially, but physically in a very cold and tough environment.
Impressive.
Over the course of the show, Ben Fogle drops in and out, to see how she is faring, and the final part of the show is him coming back to see how she is doing, 3 years after she started the project.
So today I wanted to share a few keys things I took away from it, which I think might be pertinent for us all.
Surviving, Thriving and Everything in between
The reason this English nanny decided to make this massive life changing decision was a few different things. She had always loved animals (especially donkeys), had a long and lingering dream of “living on a farm”; but the final catalyst to get her over the line was her mother passing away and her realising that time is precious, so if there is anything she would really like to have a crack at, then why not?
The other thing that happened was the “chance” finding by her sister of the 2-acre farm, for sale at a very affordable price.
Maybe the universe was giving her a nudge (which I tend to believe), and happens to be a key theme of one of my favourite books – The Alchemist – by Paolo Coelho.
The point here was that her “WHY” (especially her mums passing) provided the rocket fuel to overcome her ‘fear’ of making a massive life change.
But that just got her through the first few steps of the journey.
It was a number of other things that made all the difference; and which I want to explore today.
Responsibility for others. Since she was now responsible for 50 farm animals, who were dependent on her for their well-being and survival, and she was a deeply caring person, she had this ‘responsibility’ pulling her along; getting her out of bed to feed the animals when it was below zero degrees, and blowing gale force, freezing coastal winds. She could have been overwhelmed by the responsibility, but she used it as a driving force to keep her going when things got tough. She had something bigger than herself to serve.
Humility. This is HUGE, and not often celebrated in today’s egotistical world of Social Media and the “look at me – I am so perfect” phenomenon. Humility is such a wonderful virtue to have. This former nanny was not too humble to ask for help from the farmers in the community. To acknowledge she knew next to nothing, and was willing to ask for help and learn from it. Getting beyond the ego, admitting you don’t know something and then asking for help is not belittling, but feeds the raw human expression.
Resilience. This is of course a big thing when it comes to doing new stuff. Our ability to keep going. One thing this super nanny had was the acknowledgement – at the outset – that her project could succeed, or it could fail, but she didn’t want to live with the regret of not ever trying. I also believe that if ever there is a thing you really want to have a shot at, better to try and bomb out at it, than live with regrets. Resilience can be fed by an openness to try, willingness to fail, and a mindset which actually says “is there a better way?” Which brings me to my next favourite thing.
Adaptability, flexibility, resourcefulness. This is the ability to keep adapting, and trying new stuff. I like the word ‘iteration‘, meaning that you keep testing and adjusting things along the way. Cara (our ex-nanny) had the farm as her only source of income, since she had no savings, and had taken a mortgage to buy the farm. In each new segment of the show, as Fogle dropped in to see how she was doing, she had added an entirely different product or service for sale, with the final iteration being the addition of a small Bed and Breakfast. I loved her willingness to keep trying new things, and mixing it up. For someone who started with no business skills, she really upped her game over the time she was showcased in the episode.
Bravery. I could have also used ‘courage’. The fact that she did this on her own (no partner for support), with no experience, no relevant farming skills or financial savings, was worthy of a standing ovation. Outstanding and truly inspiring. She had a great mindset, and even though there were plenty of moments of tears on her journey, she stuck it out. I also think her openness to the thought that things might not work out – and that this would no be the end of the world – allowed her to give it her best shot.
One specific thing I liked, which she did, and is represented in a number of the different elements above, is that when one of her prize hogs (pigs) got sick, and she did not have the money for the vet fees, she reached out to an online community to ask for help. Not only humility and resourcefulness, but an understanding that she was not actually ‘alone’ in her adventure. She only needed to ask for help, and it was there.
Even though we live in a pretty bonkers world at times, I do believe that there are good people all around us, who care, and will help us out if we need it, and ask for it. I think sometimes ‘loneliness’ and feeling alone, is an outcome of not plugging into, or leaning into, or reaching into the sea of love and life that connects us and exists all around us. Also known as the unified quantum field.
If you want to heck out the show that inspired this, click the LINK here.
And enjoy “normal person” Cara summitting her very own Mount Everest, and feeling the joy, and self-esteem, of having given it a crack.
In Summary
Having a big “why” before starting something new or scary is essential.
If there is ever anything you wanted to have a crack at, DO IT, and regardless of success or failure (which I don’t believe exists), know it will ensure you are not one of those people who lives with regrets.
Humility is such a valuable, and underappreciated, virtue. Who really cares if someone thinks we are not ‘perfect’?
Adaptability is how we achieve great things. We just keep making micro-adjustments along the way, which get us to the top of the summit.
Mindset and a healthy personal psychology trump intelligence, every time, when it comes to succeeding at new stuff.
My Parting Words
I love seeing people, who are pretty ‘normal’ by most measures, have a crack at something WAY out of their comfort zone.
And observing to see what it was, which most contributed to them making their way into it, and through it.
There are definitely consistent elements.
I think that humility is something that is pretty rare in todays “look at me” world of selfies, photo editing tools, and an over-fixation on what other people are thinking of us.
To be the person who is able to comfortably say, “I don’t know?”, is the person who is definitely stepping into the higher realms of consciousness and leaving ego-based living behind.
Let’s be that person, and soften up this need to be seen or perceived as a super-awesome-at-everything-I-do person, who is actually barely hanging on to their sanity as they invest all their energy into something that – in the end – does not really matter much to anyone.
I am grateful to Ben Fogle who is as curious as me about people stepping outside of their comfort zone and doing something ‘different’ to the norm.
And if you get the chance, check out Cara (the ex-nanny) and her animal farm, in what is good food for the mind and heart.
Do enjoy, and also…
Have an amazing day, and a week where you consider what regrets you don’t want to have.
Take care.
Carl
Quotable QUOTE:
“Mindset and a healthy personal psychology trump intelligence, every time, when it comes to succeeding at new stuff.” Carl Massy
(Author of 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be)
PS: Have you read or listened to this book yet? 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be
