This goal is pretty common.
I have definitely had this goal, or a derivation of it, at some points in my life.
Thinking that if I attained this goal, life would be just great.
Only to find that attaining this goal is actually a little hollow.
Not actually that much fun.
And some research would even suggest it will take us to an early grave.
And no, we are not talking about getting “high” off alcohol or drugs, which most of us realise is followed by a whopping headache and hang-over, or in the case of drugs, a downer for a handful of days after (or so I have read ;-)).
The goal I am talking about…
Are you ready for it?
Is…
The Goal of getting to the place where you don’t have to DO anything.
Free of commitments and responsibilities.
And the piece I want to focus on today is – more specifically – freedom from “having to work”.
You have also likely seen a bunch of conversations online where some younger folk are all for an unconditional basic income (UBI), which is not based on work status.
Where you could still be paid to do nothing.
Sounds great.
But actually, it’s not.
And thus starts today’s conversation.
When do we have the most “Flow” experiences?
Firstly, a big shout out to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who wrote the book ‘Flow: The Psychology of Optimum Experience‘.
“Optimum Experience” is definitely something we would ALL like to sign up for.
It sure beats the heck out of a “mediocre” experience.
Anyway, I read the book years ago, but something that stuck out for me was the findings from the research around whether we had more “FLOW” (optimum experiences), when we were partaking in leisure activities (like doing sod all), or when we are engaged in work-type activities.
It turns out we have LESS flow experiences doing leisure activities, than if we are engaged in more work-related activities.
One of the reasons is the challenge – in a working context – brings out a higher level of engagement, focus and is more likely to lead to the feelings of fulfilment, accomplishment and self-worth.
We think we will have a better time doing the leisure thing, but apparently, we get more juice and fulfillment, from the work stuff.
Now of course there are exceptions.
If we hate our job. If it is boring, unchallenging, unfulfilling, toxic, unsafe, etc..
The general point is the joy of ‘doing bugger all‘ might have a short expiry date to it.
Which has been my personal experience.
The retirement thing
As with everything (and I actually think it applies to “everything”…aka 100%) there is a difference between something that is infused with consciousness and something without.
For instance, if we add conscious (awareness) to this thing called retirement – as opposed to getting to 65-years and just changing your work status on Facebook from “Employed” to “Retired” – we can have a very fulfilling life experience until we take our last breath.
As the ratio of grey to brown in my head of hair, starts leaning precariously towards more grey than brown, I come to a better understanding about the relationship between working and not working.
I have tried both.
And I find myself at a time in my life now, where I definitely have to work a lot less, to maintain my current lifestyle.
That sounds pretty cool.
And without being an ungrateful sod, it is.
But there is a catch.
Well, more of a “dance” really.
The dance for me is having the right relationship and balance between lots of “free” time to do bugger all AND having meaningful engagement in meaningful activities.
This dance is easier said than done.
Sometimes you think “Great”, when you have a bunch of days, with no commitments.
And then by Day 2, you are doing that thing called “boredom“, or watching stupid shorts of people falling over on YouTube, which is essentially the same thing (and atrophying brain cells).
We need meaningful engagement in order for fulfillment, joy and a deeper connection to the sacredness of the gift of life.
Final observations
Having hobbies that fully engage you, challenge you, and exercise your mind and body, are a huge bonus.
For example, take surfing. It is in nature. Away from white noise. Physically challenging, so great also for physical fitness. Mentally challenging. Soothing at times as a surfer moves with the rising and falling waves. And probably includes a whole bunch of beautiful sun rises and sun sets.
Watching YouTube videos, or Instagram / TikTok shorts, is not a hobby that comes close (for example).
I would actually consider never retiring completely, from active engagement in meaningful projects (paid or unpaid).
The aim, rather than doing nothing – and is part of the dance – is getting to a time in your life where you have the financial capacity to choose what projects you want to be involved with (meaningful and fulfilling), and what you want to say no to.
I think THAT is the goal.
As opposed to getting to a place where you don’t have to do anything.
It might seem like doing nothing trumps doing some work, part of the time.
I have even had 3 experiences in my life where I have taken up to a year to travel around the world, and have got to a point (about 3-5 months in) where I am bored, because I am not engaged, challenged or producing anything meaningful with my existence.
Anyway, as always, my conversations are about “food for thought“.
Maybe getting to a point of not having to do anything, is not the goal you are looking for, after all.
In Summary
Many people think that when they get to a stage where they don’t have to work and it is all leisure, that life will be great.
Apparently, that is not the case according to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who suggested we experience more flow when we are challenged, engaged and in a growth experience.
The aim is to do the dance between relaxation (and spaciousness for deep thinking and being), and full-engagement in meaningful work or projects.
And drilling down further, the aim might be to get to the financial stage, where you get to choose what work you want to do, when, and with whom.
My Parting Words
For full disclosure, I have to admit that of late – given I have more space in the day without commitments – I have been pondering the “meaning of life” question.
Which is like a slippery eel.
I have glimpses, but have not seen the whole show.
I have also been reading a few more books on origin myths, translations of 1000’s of clay tablets from ancient libraries found in the area of Mesopotamia (near modern day Iraq, Iran and Syria), inconsistencies with historical dating related to civilizations, and related subjects, which is truly fascinating.
And which I would have had less to time to read and research if I was doing a 40-60hr week (like a bunch of my peers).
That aside, I have also been contemplating and experimenting with the right mix of rest, spaciousness and professional engagement; when it comes to happiness and fulfilment.
The thing I am clear about is ‘doing nothing’ is not where the true fun (and happiness) is at.
And watching too much YouTube is not good for the brain either.
Having been engaged with selling a house, securing land, building a Tiny House, building a main house, and doing the landscaping thing for the last bunch of years; as it winds down, I find myself in need of a meaningful new project.
As challenging as that project was at times, it engaged us with this thing called Life.
And happiness is entangled in the things we might call “struggles”.
Which I find fascinating (though less so when you are in the middle of them).
How is your balance going (what I call the ‘dance’) between full-engagement and full-restfulness?
And maybe even the grey bit in-between?
Food for thought…
Have a truly wonderful day, and a week dancing between the spectrum of full-engagement and doing sweet-F-all.
Take care.
Carl
Quotable QUOTE:
“The aim is to do the dance between relaxation (and spaciousness for deep thinking and being), and full-engagement in meaningful work or projects.” Carl Massy
(Author of 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be)
PS: Have you read or listened to this book yet? 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be
