“Uncomfortable”.
Why did I decide to choose that particular word, when it comes to this wee exploration today?
I was trying to think of what word would best represent the theme of today’s journey.
It stems from the idea I have shared with you before, that “burying our heads in the sand, and HOPING for the best“, is a terrible Strategy.
There numerous things I’ve learned over the last 26 years (as I embarked on a very personal inner journey), which was further challenged and refined over the past 5 years, while I did my best to try and figure sh#t out for me, and others.
So I thought today I would share with you some things I believe – based on my knowledge, experience and perspective – are closer to Truth, with a capital “T”.
I have personally found that by facing these Truths, and the “reality” they more accurately represent, I can take relevant actions to work with them, and therefore more easefully navigate my way through life.
Are you ready for Number 1?
An Uncomfortable Truth: #1
It turns out our life path is not linear. It does not necessarily get easier as we get older and wiser. In addition, we live in a world a lot more complex than even 50 years ago. A recent book I read called “Life Is In The Transitions” by Bruce Feiler, suggested that we have about 36 “disruptors” through our life, and about 2-3 major “pile ups” (of stuff really going south). If we have a “belief” that life should be linear, when the reality is it is non-linear, we create a stress gap between reality and our beliefs. The bigger the gap, the more stress. If we take this in mind, then instead of fighting life with a bunch of “why me?” energy and emotion, we accept the reality that sh#t happens, and can happen in any time of our lives, and it is how we transition through these, which is where the growth opportunity is at. The Key Message: life is not linear (like a ladder), it is non-linear (like a jungle gym), and why resilience is such a potent virtue.
An Uncomfortable Truth: #2
Somewhere in our not-too-distant past, the actual definition of “Nature” changed. The definition, at one time, included us humans, as a part of nature – in a symbiotic relationship. But then, for some reason, the definition changed to suggest that Nature is everything apart from us humans. Creating an unhealthy separation, which has allowed us to treat Nature (the soil, plants, animals, insects, micro-organisms, etc.) extremely poorly. Traditional cultures (American Indian, Australian Aboriginal, numerous African cultures), understood that they were a part of nature and thrived when they worked with nature. With our separation from Nature, I believe we have lost a bit of reverence for it, and also are missing a sisterhood or brotherhood with all plants, animals and life on Earth. Meaning we are more likely to pollute the air, sea and land (because it is lot a part of us). I could say a lot more, but the Key Message is “You and me are a symbiotic part of Nature, and when we work with it, we all thrive” (e.g. regenerative farming). For an outstanding conversation on this “separation” experience, listen to The Way Forward podcast with Alec Zeck and Dr Zack Bush.
An Uncomfortable Truth: #3
You are not going to believe this, but…our governing authorities tell “porky pies” (aka: lies), which may be justified as things for the greater good, or not justified at all, but presented as a “Law”. Like the non-existence of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, which justifies a War. Or in more recent times, the idea that staying 6-foot away from someone would stop the spread of disease. In a recent USA senate enquiry, the leading health officials admitted that there was no scientist basis, research or clinical data (or observational data) to suggest the “6ft rule” was a fact. It was made up, but presented as a “Fact” by governments globally. Or maybe the idea that fluoride in the water is harmless, as opposed to the research that suggests it lowers the IQ of children. I could reference a lot more examples (especially in the health space) of our governing bodies not telling the truth, or the whole truth, or just telling lies. The Key Message being that we need to be more discerning, curious, questioning, and self-empowered when it comes to our well-being. Don’t believe things just because an authority figure (in any aspect of your life) tells you it is so.
An Uncomfortable Truth: #4
We know this one, but somehow, we do the cognitive dissonance thing on it. Money does not = happiness. Having more money is no guarantee you will be happier, beyond a certain point of income. Especially if that extra money is not actually yours, but comes in the form of debt (which is a whole other subject!). Even though we know at some level that money does not buy happiness, we are still unconsciously seduced into the idea that if we work harder, or longer hours, or make more sacrifices, we will make more money and therefore be happier! The research is pretty clear on this one. Extrinsic goals – like making more money – leads to lower levels of psychological health; versus intrinsic goals related to relationships, self-growth and being a better human, which lead to greater psychological health. The Key Message: Do you want more money, things and complexity or more quality time with the people you love most?
An Uncomfortable Truth: #5
Most people sort of know this one to some level, but not to the level of acceptance that makes it truly beneficial. This uncomfortable truth is that suppressed emotions, unprocessed trauma, toxic relationships, unchecked anxiety, can lead to not only mental, but physical health issues. I always tell my clients when it comes to a health challenge. If you only work on the physical, and not the emotional and psychological, you are likely to achieve a 70% result, and not get to the Root Cause. If you want to go deeper into the subject, start with a book like, “The Body Keeps The Score” by van der Kolk. I am 100% convinced that the majority of our physical symptoms (especially if they are persistent over the long-term), have an emotional element to them, contributing to the symptoms, and their longevity. The Key Message is to address the emotional side of things when you are ill, even if you are ill due to a physical trauma (e.g. a broken bone). The mind, body and spirt are interwoven.
An Uncomfortable Truth: #6
I call myself a Strategic Planner and I like to think I am pretty good at it; whether it is using this skill professionally or personally. But one thing I have learned over the years (usually by a tough lesson), was that no matter how much I planned something out, I could rarely, if ever, guarantee the result I would get. I realised that there were no guarantees, and the more you tried for the “perfect Plan”, the more stress you will create. And if you are stressed, you are UNcreative! Our results are heavily weighted by how we psychologically and physically handle change (as opposed to the perfect plan). I also think having a strong faith in something much bigger than ourselves, is also a huge help. These days I come up with the best plan I can, but acknowledge that I am not in charge of the Universe (or the multi universes ;-)), so I will see what happens, and deal with it as best I can. The Key Message is you cannot control all of life, so work on getting better at rolling with it, and perhaps practice the age-old art of FLEXIBILITY.
An Uncomfortable Truth: #7
I thought I would finish with an interesting perspective. It is the idea that we are WAY more powerful than we imagine ourselves to be (or have been told). Our bodies can self-heal, given the right environment and elements. Our minds have access to unlimited creativity. Our gut has billions of microorganisms (with millions of years of evolutionary knowledge), that can send a message via the vagus verve to the brain, to let it know if a threat is real or imagined, and influence the stress response. Our consciousness can influence things on a quantum level, causing a wave of possibility to collapse into a particle of reality. Our joy, when observed by others, can cause them to also experience joy, as a result of mirror neurons. We can also create life, in our likeness. We, humans, are pretty bloody awesome. The uncomfortable thing about knowing this, is sometimes we might play way smaller than what we are capable of. We don’t tap into our “FULL” potential. So, obviously, the Key Message here is that “yes” you are powerful, capable, able and feel free to shine much brighter any time you choose. So, when would now be a great time to shine?
In Summary
There are a lot more things I could have written about where we sort of know something, or learn something new, but because of old beliefs, programs, habits and conditioning, we are reluctant to acknowledge a new knowing or make a change.
The idea is that if we face REALITY, for example the Uncomfortable Truth that most corporations (much more than 50%) value profit and shareholders over their client’s well-being, then we can come in with our eyes wide open, with sharpened discernment, and ultimately make a better choice by seeing the full picture.
Ignorance is not bliss, especially when we are talking long-term (aka: life).
My Parting Words
My plan was to have an exploration of these uncomfortable things, without this article being a Debbie Downer.
Hopefully, fingers crossed (which I know is a bad strategy ;-)), you took something away from this, without feeling deflated.
One of the primary parts of training our consciousness, and evolving into our full potential, is being most aware of the field that we are playing on.
Wishing things were different, is not going to cut it.
And sometimes (like #7), we can create self-imposed limitations because we believe we are not enough, or not powerful, or not worthy; when the Truth is we are so much more.
When we embrace the “Truth” – as best as we can discern – we also have the ability to make the best and most durable choices.
Ignorance is not bliss.
It might be more comfortable in the short-term, but you and I know that it will soon bite us on the butt.
Which of these 7 Uncomfortable Truths caused you the greatest amount of thought, pause, discomfort, resistance or reflection?
Use it as a ‘real’ step to the next level of a greater you.
Have a great day while consciously leaning into the edge of discomfort, and a week where you are wide open to your own greatness.
Take care.
Carl
Quotable QUOTE:
“Ignorance is not bliss, especially when we are talking long-term (aka: life).” Carl Massy
(Author of 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be)
PS: Have you read or listened to this book yet? 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be
