I like this simple formula: E + R = O.
There is so much packed into it.
I actually have it as the Daily Tip on Day 10, of my 30-day challenge (Ignite Your Inner Greatness).
In the formula; E stands for “Event“, R stands for “Response” and O stands for “Outcome“.
Essentially, we are saying that the Event, plus your RESPONSE to the Event, determines the ultimate OUTCOME.
The Outcome is not fixed.
It changes, depending on your interaction with it.
Which also makes you pretty damn powerful.
And today, we are going to take this even deeper.
We are going to look at one HUGELY IMPACTFUL sub-element of your choice of response.
We are going to explore the ‘MEANING‘ you give something, during, after, and even before and event unfolds.
Being masterful with the meaning you attach to things is a game-changer, when it comes to not only your on-going evolution, but also the emotional states you experience in the short-term.
This article was inspired by a pretty bizarre and not so pleasant event (but please bear with me).
My “event” was having a case of Bali Belly (aka: the sh#ts).
Lessons come from very strange places indeed.
Lessons in strange wrapping paper (e.g. toilet paper)
Okay, before you decide you have better things to hear, than my elimination stories, I assure you I will keep it clean and focus more on the philosophical, as opposed to the physical.
However, to provide context, I did have the (#$@&!) for about 5 days.
Not the most fun, and it could get a guy or gal down.
But being that I am big on reframing things, and finding deeper meaning in the more mundane or uncomfortable in life, I decided to create this meaning.
As you may or may not know, I decided that for something different and for a deep immersion into the teachings and practices of traditional yoga (which I first started in 1999); I would do a 3-week yoga teacher training course at The Practice, starting on 1 June (Sunday).
Therefore, I decided that the MEANING which would be perfect for this context was that I was “cleaning out my body (emptying it), to make room for something new to be learned“.
Have you ever seen an Asian martial arts movie where the Sensei (master), is pouring a cup of tea, and doesn’t stop when the tea starts overflowing? What they are trying to teach their student, is they cannot learn anything new, if their cup is already full. The student needs an empty mind, in order to learn something new.
So I borrowed that concept.
I was emptying my body (plus any mental and emotional junk in the trunk), in order to prepare myself to learn anew, as a fresh-faced student.
The reason I chose this as the meaning I would give my Event (the diarrhea thing), is because it makes me feel as if this yogic experience has a deeper meaning.
Now this does not mean I put my head in the sand, and just “wish” I get back to homeostasis.
I still do the physical stuff of getting plenty of rest, staying hydrated, taking charcoal tablets, maybe fasting for a bit, and being very conscious about what I eat.
I just don’t wallow in any poor me, pity parties, because I am a bit crook.
My meaning (which I chose or essentially made up) causes me to have a better relationship with the experience, and I also believe, allows me to change the ‘frequency’ of the memory when I bring it to mind in the future.
It will feel like a ‘positive’ experience, as opposed to a ‘negative’ experience, solely because of the meaning I made up and gave it.
The deeper lesson
The meaning we choose for all the events in our lives, not only become the Outcome, but change how our bodies respond to the thoughts and memories related to them.
If some Event is given a “bad” meaning, then when we remember it at a later date, we are likely to trigger a stress response, and experience the expression of the various chemicals and hormones that go with it.
If in the other hand, we give a meaning to an event, which gives it a “positive” meaning, we will also feel the emotions, and biochemistry, of an elevated emotional state.
Now you might ask, “Does the meaning have to be absolutely, undeniably, the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God?”
No.
Because there is no absolute meaning.
That is why the Buddhist might say that everything is created neutral until we give meaning to it.
We get to choose.
And the choice can empower us or disempower us.
Let’s look at an example, using the weather.
Person A’s meaning is: “There is no sunshine, so I can’t go outside and have fun.”
Person B’s meaning is: “This is awesome, because the plants will get a growth burst.”
Person A’s “Outcome”: Feeling miserable and annoyed.
Person B’s “Outcome”: Doing a funky chicken dance in celebration.
How would you prefer to feel?
And this is the really important thing to note: Neither A nor B’s meaning is an “absolute” truth.
The meanings are mostly “made up”.
We can actually make up a meaning for any Event, which makes us feel bad, neutral, or good.
Which do you usually choose?
In Summary
You get to choose what meaning you give an Event, which influences how it affects you now, and in the future (when you remember it).
The meaning is mostly “made up”, and does not have to be – nor is it ever likely to be – an absolute truth.
The most important thing when deciding what meaning to give something, is to consider how it will make you feel. Always create a meaning which makes you feel most empowered.
My Parting Words
The better we get at mindfully choosing what meaning we attach to Events, the happier, more fulfilled, and more successful we will become.
It is much harder to move a physical mountain, than to move an idea (e.g. a meaning) in our minds.
Instead of needing to move a mountain, I can create a meaning that says the mountain is the perfect mountain, in the perfect place, at the perfect time.
As you know, so much of our happiness and well-being is determined in our minds.
Very little in the physical world is “absolute” or immovable to interpretation.
Even death, and its impact on us changes, based on the meaning we give it.
And yes, I am sure you have heard me say something similar in the past.
But, how good would you say you are, on a scale of 1-10, when it comes to creating meanings which leave you feeling empowered and inspired?
If you are not happy most of the time, then your meaning-creating muscles might need more training.
Life is not necessarily good or bad.
But is HEAVILY influenced by what meaning we attribute to it, and parts of it.
Make sense?
And finally an activity for you:
What might be bugging you of late, and how could you change the meaning of its relationship to you, to change your mood?
Good luck with that.
Have a super day, and a week where you are more conscious of the things that bother you, and the meaning you have granted them.
Take care.
Carl
Quotable QUOTE:
“The most important thing when deciding what Meaning to give any Event, is to consider how it will make you feel. Create a meaning which empowers you.” Carl Massy
(Author of 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be)
PS: Have you read or listened to this book yet? 18 Ways We Make Life WAY Harder Than It Needs To Be
