I was totally stumped today when I was trying to think about what subject might best serve you today. I was trying to think of something that is useful, insightful and practical.
And I figured let’s talk about the very broad and general subject of ‘How to Deal with Problems’. I guessed it would definitely be relevant to us all probably right at this very moment.
So…can you think of a problem that you have in your life now?
hey! Don’t get lost in it.
Just raise your hand so I know you are not an alien. 😉
Now when I talk about ‘desires’ I am talking about the ones you have thought about and have purposefully planted, as opposed to the desires that talk to that animal part of your brain and pull you in numerous different directions, plus they often come with literal or metaphorical hang-overs. 😉
So…are you ready to learn even more about the brain? Your brain. That incredibly powerful tool at your disposal that often stands between mediocrity and joyful success and happiness.
It turns out that willpower trumps IQ when it comes to success. When researchers measured the willpower of children, and their IQ, they found that willpower was a bigger determinate of whether a child would be successful, as opposed to IQ. No surprises really. I like the saying that successful people do the things that unsuccessful people refuse to do, not because they want to do them, but because they know it needs to be done. The tool they use is WILLPOWER. Like my favourite Michael Beckwith quote: “What does not feeling like it have to do with it?”
This might just be my favourite subject…
I spent about 45 mins the other day in a session with one of my clients helping them with improving their decision making abilities. It is definitely a teachable skill.
It is pretty obvious to me – and I suspect you will agree – that the choices we make, based on our decision-making process (or lack of one ;-)) have an enormous impact on the quality of our lives. It impacts the amount of joy we experience, and the amount of unproductive or negative stress in our daily lives.
Let’s get started (and these are not necessarily in priority order).
I have had a fabulous couple of weeks, working with some amazing clients, and learning some incredible lessons as I put myself front and centre back into a business environment that includes more people that just me.
The Practice (yoga centre) has 15 staff, so again I get to experience the joys and sometimes challenges of there being 15 different human beings with different needs, beliefs, histories, values (though these are pretty well aligned through conscious selection), family situations, money situations, fears, worries, etc. etc. So I have much to learn, and therefore share with you.
So today I am going to share a handful of lessons that have been very relevant for the clients and staff I have worked with over the last couple of weeks.
Let the learning (and reminders) begin… 😉
I am still trying to deal with a problem in my life as the result of a very bad decision I made at the end of 2007. I decided to invest a good chunk of my nest egg into a business I knew nothing about, with people who I had a strong gut feeling did not share my personal values (plus I hardly knew them), and with other people that later turned out to be liars, thieves and bullies (who I definitely did not know).
Does the word ‘stupid’ come to mind for you as well? 😉
Hands up if you have made unconscious / poor / rushed / bad / thoughtless / etc. decisions in the past that end up dragging behind you for months, years or decades? I expect that there are a lot of hands up in the air. We are in this together!
The first thing is unfortunately this is how we best learn. By making mistakes. By getting things wrong. By getting feedback that the decision we made was a ‘bad’ one. Even when I am in the middle of a complete mess, I have a little part of me that reminds me that everything in life is an opportunity to LEARN and GROW. This does not make it easier, but it does give the experience more meaning. Continue reading
Do you want to know what still surprises me?
Well I am going to tell you even if you don’t want to know, but I am tipping that you are just a bit curious…
One thing that I have seen a lot of late in my Coaching clients, plus I have been teaching on courses, is the idea that we really really need to know what we really really WANT.
I am tipping this is really really obvious to you.
My favourite share with you guys and girls, come as a result of what’s coming up with the clients I am working with at the time.
And as some of you know, I have this belief that the right things, come up at the right time, for the right people. So I know some of what follows will turn on some serious light bulbs in people’s minds. Well I want the lights on, but then I also want you to roll your sleeves up and do the work.
I have always been fascinated by why we do what we do.
I see people achieving great stuff, but I like to look below the surface and see if it is also making them happy. Why are they doing what they are doing? What motivates them, and does what motivates them, lead them on a path of happiness and fulfilment. Continue reading
I decided to do a Couples Tantra Retreat with Ferry, because I am committed to not just winging it in my relationship and hoping it all works out.
Plus I wanted to increase the level of intimacy and connection we experienced, while our busy lives and work swirled around us. I don’t like to leave too much to chance in life. I like to be a CO-CREATOR in my life, and that especially includes my relationship.
The retreat was hosted by one of the most authentic, loving, compassionate, knowledgeable, and fun people I know. Diane McCann and her husband Robert have been running this retreat for about 29 years. They are both in their 60’s and are an amazing example of what a relationship can be if you make this thing called ‘love’ a priority. Continue reading
I am someone who rarely gets accused of being whatever the opposite of blunt is; so I am going to give you this insipid, nasty, dream destroying, illness causing, relationship disrupting, C Word straight up.
It is COMPLACENCY.
And don’t you dare be complacent about this word!!!! 😉
It is like a ninja. A silent killer.
It adversely affects peoples potential, the quality of their relationships, the state of their health, the success of their businesses, the meaningfulness of their lives, the legacy that we create and leave behind, and a whole bunch of other negative and depressing to read stuff.
I am sure you get the picture. Continue reading
This is definitely a question I am asked often and inevitably something I end up working on with all of my clients.
Because everyone, at times, feels this deeply unsettling feeling of ‘being out of balance’. Because we know at some level that it is possible to feel centered, grounded, and harmonious more often. And from a physical perspective, the body and brain, love to be in homeostasis. Which is about balance, calmness and efficient use of energy.
So how do we create that feeling of balance as the default, rather have it show up as an occasional visitor?
Let me tell you what I use and recommend…