Author: cm_admin

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Choice consciousness Decision Making Feeling Life Lessons Perspective

Tough Decisions, Complexity, Better Questions and Cute Dogs

Yes; we will be discussing all of those topics.

As they weave together.

Regardless of whether you are a ‘dog person’ or not, I am sure you will get where I am coming from, and take something of value from this conversation.

Over the last bunch of weeks I have had some really tough decisions to make in relationship to dogs, which have not been easy.

Time to really practice what I teach.

All of which I have written about over this year and are in my latest book (18 Ways We Make Life Way Harder Than It Needs To Be) and YES, that is a ridiculously blatant plug for my new book, but I am okay with that as I know it will serve you well.

Now let’s jump straight into the life of Carl Massy story time…

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Choice Perspective Relationship

Handy Relationship Tip: When Not to “Wing’ It

Relationships have a pretty big impact on the quality of our lives.

I suspect you might agree with me on that one.

And a relationship, which is healthy and harmonious, is a beautiful soothing balm for our mental health.

It seems when the relationships in our lives are going well, life is SO much easier.

Alternatively, when they are a bit wobbly, life can sort of suck.

One of my favourite strategies still remains knowing The 5 Love Languages and APPLYING the strategy in your relationships, but I want to share another with you.

This was reiterated with me the other day in a coaching session.

My client is great at dealing with stuff in his professional life, but a bit wobbly at times when it comes to relationships (aren’t we all).

And in this case, there is a good reason why…

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Categories
Choice Decision Making Emotional Growth Optimum Health Perspective

A 19th Way We Make Life WAY Harder

Today we are going to talk about fuel.

Fuel for you, so you get stuff done; the stuff which is best for you in the short and long term, and that contributes to the quality and enjoyment of your life.

We are going to talk about the fuel source called WILLPOWER.

We make life a lot harder when we don’t understand the limitations of willpower.

And what might be a better (less HARD inducing) choice.

Here is the thing.

And where it gets a bit paradoxical.

We may need to use willpower in order to get to the place where we can use another more effective and efficient fuel source.

That fuel source is HABIT.

Well habit isn’t actually a source of fuel, it is more a system which is more efficient in its energy consumption.

Willpower burns fuel (energy) quickly.

Habit burns fuel (energy) more efficiently.

So if you utilize HABIT more, and WILLPOWER less, you will have MORE ENERGY available to direct into your life desires, or have more redundancy for life’s inevitable curve balls.

Essentially life is WAY harder if we don’t have any energy left over for the unplanned, unforeseen and unexpected

Bugger!

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Choice Doubt Emotional Feeling Negative Emotions Overwhelm Perspective

How to Deal with Overwhelm

ANOTHER EFFECTIVE WAY TO DEAL WITH GREATER LEVELS OF OVERWHELM.

In the past I have spoken about different ways to deal with stress and OVERWHELM.

And I am sure it (overwhelm) is a topic you can also relate to.

It is not whether we will experience overwhelm or not.

It is about ‘when’, and then HOW WE DEAL WITH IT.

That is where I will take you.

I am personally feeling overwhelmed about now.

But it is not the minor daily stuff, but the “WTF do I do next?!” sort of stuff.

My Morning Rituals and Weekly Meeting with Me Inc do a great job most of the time, but if stuff builds up, or there are new factors, our ability to cope can reach overflow.

That is what today’s strategy is dealing with.

For me, the overwhelm is the result of: selling our house, building a new house (in a foreign country), doing the money juggling act, managing my current coaching clients (and new clients), helping my first-time authors finish their books, getting coaching programs organised for 2024 (because this year is whizzing by), plus finishing my book and associated parts, then publishing and launching it on 20 November. And a couple of weeks ago I made the decision to have our sausage dog of 16-years put down.

So a bunch of stuff going on, but maybe the book launch is the thing that is probably pushing me over the line, since it is a significant project.

So what to do????

Essentially I need to figure some shit out.

Organise the jigsaw pieces.

But how best to do that…??

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Categories
Choice Life Lessons Nutrition Optimum Health Perspective

Wisdom, Discernment and What’s for Breakfast?

You know I am a fan of wisdom.

I am also a fan of discernment, critical-thinking and sensing what is ‘self-evident’.

Having read a book recently that was a deep-dive into the differences between the right and left hemispheres, it is pretty clear that our education systems and societal systems in general favour a left-brain bias (and worldview).

This means being taught what to think (by people supposedly smarter than us) and not being taught ‘how to think.’

Wisdom is about knowing how to think and then applying that knowledge in a conscious way.

And it turns out that the right brain is best for discerning BS, so stretching our minds a little more is definitely in our favour.

Mindfulness practices like meditation help develop the right hemisphere, by expanding our consciousness, and dropping into the interconnection of everything.

Everything is connected (as quantum physics agrees with).

Whereas the left hemisphere is about reductionism, fixation, inflexibility, judgement and making stuff up.

So, having said that, and having created some context for what I want to support you with (becoming wiser) let me get back the topic of “What’s for breakfast?”

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Categories
Belief Choice Doubt Fear Feeling Growth Life Lessons Overwhelm

This Can Break The Dam Wall of Worry

This article is for anyone that does, or is currently doing, the WORRY thing.

It’s a story about what I recently did (about 30 mins before writing) to break the dam of worry that had been looming over me for days.

If you read last weeks post, I spoke about getting triggered putting up ‘For Sale’ signs around my neighborhood, as we are in the process of selling our house in Bali (while doing a build at the same time).

So I am juggling a few balls in the air.

Which I am sure that you can relate to.

I am 100% sure.

Rarely have we got all of our ducks lined up so we can kick back with our feet up, and be in blissful rapture.

The price of wanting to live an extraordinary life is there will be a bit of resistance, disruption, set-back and frustration.

It’s the ticket price to play life at the next level.

So I know that you know what I am talking about.

Life can get pretty overwhelming at times.

And then we can do this worry thing.

Which I like to thank my mum for teaching me.

She taught me well.

Just joking mum!!

(Sort of).

So that takes me to one of my main points of today’s ‘lessons’.

Drum roll please maestro…

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Categories
Fear Feeling Life Lessons Negative Emotions Perspective Problem

How to Stop Getting Triggered

One of the primary things I do when working with new clients is have them record when they get TRIGGERED.

This information is gold dust.

Outstanding feedback.

BUT…only if you do something with it.

We all get triggered.

But IT is the wisest among us who learn from it, in order to grow and evolve and to not get triggered (as much or not at all) next time.

Firstly let me define what I mean by ‘Getting Triggered‘.

It is essentially any time where we are reactively taken out of an elevated emotional state, neutral state or homeostasis, and dropped into a survival emotional state. Essentially the amygdala has determined there is some sort of physical threat, so it activates the sympathetic nervous system, and we have a physiological fight, flight or freeze response. This does not include automatic responses to real physical threats.

Sometimes we are ‘positively’ triggered and that is awesome and another great thing to learn from.

Thumbs up and now do more of that.

However, for this article (and your ongoing well-being) I am more interested in the ‘negative‘ triggers, and the bigger the trigger, the more (loving) attention we need to give them.

Examples include: getting triggered by an email, getting triggered while driving on the road, getting triggered by your partner or friends, getting triggered by people wearing face masks while alone on a beach, getting triggered by being told ‘no’, getting triggered by people riding motorbikes through intersections while texting on their phones, etc..

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Categories
Choice Emotional Fear Growth Life Lessons

A Sneak Peak Inside My Next Book

I have been threatening to send you a sample from my upcoming book, so here is the PREFACE, which gives you a sense of where I am going with the book, plus I get to share with you some of my (mis)adventures and insights along the way.

Please enjoy.

PREFACE

“It is through science that we prove, but through intuition that we discover.”

Henry Poincare (French Mathematician)

Have you ever been to Bali (Indonesia)?

What a magical place. Beaches. Balinese massages. Sunshine. Great surfing. Outstanding food (did anyone tell you Bali is a food mecca?). Beautiful local people. Such an amazing place to relocate to, in order to start the next phase of your life journey and professional transition. What could possibly go wrong?

And yes, I was chuckling as I wrote that line, as I am sure at some points in your life you have uttered those very same magical and fateful words. “What could possibly go wrong?”

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Categories
Choice Decision Making Perspective Problem Success

If You Are not Using This Strategy, You Are Doing the Wrong Stuff

I am a big fan of ‘strategies’.

Especially if they are simple to learn and incorporate.

And extra especially is they have a High ROI (return on investment).

Meaning big results for minimal effort.

So I decided to grab the best strategy from my book Decision Making Mastery, and share here.

(Also, I dropped a rather large gas bottle on my finger a few days ago, so one of my two typing fingers is out of action, so I thought I would find a way to serve you, while only having one finger to type with ;-)).

My request is that you diligently use this strategy for ONE WEEK and then you let me know the benefits you experienced (and then I get to say “I told you so”.

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Categories
Decision Making Emotional Feeling Negative Emotions Overwhelm Problem

Don’t Let This Derail You from Your Goals

Goals. Goals. Goals.

We all have them, because worthy Goals give meaning to our life.

Without worthy Goals we stagnate, don’t experience fulfillment and spend our waking hours on a mindless hamster wheel.

Therefore we want to know what processes help us kick those Goals we have our beady eyes on.

And derail us.

Are you ready to hear about one of the places where people screw it up?

Let’s dive in.

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