Do you remember how I introduced an amazing author and therapist the other month called Katie Byron? Well there was something that struck a chord with me, and as a result I started paying even more attention to the language I used and the language others used. Again, by changing this one language pattern you can de-stress a huge part of your life. If you want to learn how MY business and YOUR business could knock 50% off your current stress level then do read on.

So the concept is ridiculously simple. And just to recap on Katie’s name for her book (‘Loving What Is’) and the message that it elicits: accept life for what it is, not what you think it ‘should’ be. In fact it is ‘should’ that again is going to get a public flogging in this blog!! 

Now back to ‘MY business, YOUR business’. I recently had the opportunity to observe someone create additional stress in their life because they spent quite a bit of time in other people’s business. It was generally well intentioned, but it was a business that they effectively had little, or no, control over. The key prefix they used was “You should…”. For example “You should wear your other shoes” or “You should eat this food”. This might seem harmless enough, but it can also mean the following:

• You come across as bossy or nagging or the authority on all matters to do with life (which are not endearing traits ;-)),
  
• You become disappointed, annoyed, or stressed if they ignore your statement or do the opposite or tell them you to bugger off,
  
• You imply that you know what is best for someone else (instead of assuming they did their own thing because that is what they wanted to do, or not do),
  
• Plus it takes focus (and energy) away from your own business (where you have 100% ability to influence the results).

So be conscious of when you use these simple little words, because it may be that you are adding a level of stress to your life that you could really do without. And you may be robbing yourself of putting energy into your own business and achieving the best results that you are capable of.

And for the record…I realised that I used the “you should” prefix too often in my own life. Now I am about making 'suggestions', and then letting other and YOU, choose how you want to use my advice. ;-)

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