How many of you have been on an aeroplane listening to the flight crew (I have no idea what the politically correct term is for those people that work on planes) give the safety instructions and heard the bit about “if there is a need for oxygen, the oxygen masks will drop down from above” (or words to that effect)? Then they say something like, “if you are with children, always fit your mask first, before you fit their mask”.

Now here is the question. Have any of you then stood up at this point and disputed this course of reasoning with “Wrong! You need to make sure that you take care of everyone else first and then you can take care of yourself”??? Are you starting to get my point? The airlines have been doing millions of flights over the last 30 plus years and they know that someone without air cannot effectively help anyone else. Let me substitute the word ‘air’ with ‘energy’. And I propose this revelation to you: ‘someone without (personal) energy cannot effectively help anyone else’. I am sure that not one of you can dispute this – but I am sure that there are a number of you reading this that have adopted this method (helping everyone else first) as your preferred method of behaviour.

Would you permit me to suggest a different approach that I use with my clients? I suggest that the three big parts of our lives are work, relationships (intimate, family, friends, and the world) and SELF. And life is about balancing our 100% of energy between these three principle areas. But the real secret is that the 100% of energy is not a fixed amount. We can actually increase the worth of that 100% of energy. By working on OURSELVES we can actually increase the overall amount of energy that we have. By eating right, being active, developing our mental faculties, and connecting with our spiritual side more we actually can increase our personal energy. And with more personal energy we can be a whole lot better for everyone around us. We can be more relaxed, more energetic, more open, more forgiving, more dynamic, more positive, and pretty much more of everything that is good. And everyone outside of you benefits from that.

So put yourself further up the list. Practice more self care. Make it a daily ritual. It is not going to take anything away from anyone else. It will allow you to be even more for those people around you. We are energy beings. The universe is composed of energy (apparently E=mc2). This means that the more energy we have; the greater level of positive influence we have on the environment around us (and people in it).                

So…put your gas mask on first…please. Don’t make me have to come and remove you from the plane!! ;-)

Keep it Real!

Carl

And now to the ACTION steps:

SELF CARE – what the heck does that mean??? It means…

• Take daily quiet time for yourself (make time)
• Every week, do something that is great for you – buy a gift for yourself, get a massage, take a beach or forest walk, have a special dinner out, etc
• Say ‘no’ if you if you don’t have the energy, or do not want to do something that someone has asked of you (e.g. If someone asks you out and you don’t feel like it, say ‘no’. If someone asks you to help them with packing up their house (because you can always be relied upon), but you have other (self) plans, say ‘no’. Etc)
• Make time to move your body several times a week. I like to call it physical activity. Remarkably it actually gives you increased energy rather than taking it away.
• Feed your body nutritious food. Be good to it. Give it those fresh fruits and vegetables. And regularly fill it with that glorious drink called ‘water’.
• Take personal time out to read a book that will help you to grow, develop and learn – that energises and inspires you

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